So close to the light at the end of the tunnel

Hi, my name is Mandy. Thank you for coming here to read my story.

I’m reaching out to ask for help with my water and electric bills and my house payments. This isn’t the easiest thing to do but I’ve learned that if I need help, I need to ask for it.

There are many reasons for my struggle at this point in my life. I’ll try to just give the basics though because if I include every detail it would definitely come off as a poor pitiful me read because there are A LOT of details.

I felt bad and had a lot of pain for a long time. Finally, 4 years ago, I was diagnosed with Lupus. The diagnosis connected a lot of dots and helped me understand what had been going on with me.

I worked in group homes with adult males who have intellectual disabilities for many years. I do have to say that I was amazing at my job, I loved it and I miss my guys very much. As my symptoms worsened, I realized that I couldn’t continue working because between my physical limitations and my brain glitches (brain fog) I couldn’t keep my guys or myself safe.

I stopped working and applied for SSDI in 2018. I was denied, appealed the decision, had a hearing and was denied again. I reapplied was denied again, appealed and had a hearing last week. The judge is ruling in my favor and approving my claim as of my 50th birthday, which was in August. So now, while I’m sooo incredibly relieved to have been approved, I’m also worried that it may have happened a month or so too late. I rented my extra bedrooms out to a very nice lady earlier this year and thought that would keep me afloat. It worked out really well for awhile. Then, on August 17 this year, my roommate tested positive for Covid. On September 4 I found her in her room, she had passed away. Finding her body like that traumatized me pretty badly and I was frozen for awhile. I have a lot of guilt in my heart for her death because I knew she was sick and if I’d checked on her sooner, she’d probably still be here. It was very difficult to clean out her rooms and get ready to rerent. Emotionally I was a mess and I was scheduled for rotator cuff repair surgery the week after she passed so I was also physically incapable of working quickly (doc found my shoulder to be irreparable). I just got a new renter this month but without the rent money for the months the room was empty months,  I’m in a big hole.

I’ve survived the last few years and have used up all of my financial resources. I was going to do a medication trial but the trial meds (if not given a placebo) would’ve lowered my immune system more and with Covid so bad, it’s not worth the risk. I would've gladly donated plasma, which could’ve help keep me above water but I was turned away from the plasma centers because of the Lupus. I’ve not had many options but I’ve lasted this long and  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just need help making out of this tunnel.

My SSDI payments won’t start for at least a couple of months and since it’s only approved as of my birthday, I  won’t be getting back pay. I will not be able to catch up on necessities. 

This is just part of the story and whether you can help or not, I thank you for reading this far.

I’m including copies of my bills and I rounded up a little because of GoFundMe charges. I know many of you would like to help but you don’t like to contribute to things like this because you don’t really know where the money will go. If that’s the case and you really want to help, you can use the account numbers on my water or electric bills and make a small payment directly to them. They will accept partial payments. My mortgage company will only accept full payments so I’m editing the account numbers out for security reasons. I don’t qualify for mortgage modification because, in order to have things modified, I’d have to have had income which I have not had. 

I’ve made it this far, used up all savings and friends and family have helped as much as they can. This is the end of my rope. If I can get caught up, at least on past dues, I’ll be able to keep up long term.

Any help you can give will be so appreciated and I will be very grateful.

If you don’t want to pay GoFundMe fees, my CashApp is $LupusSucksBalls and PayPal is @LupusSucksBalls. I’ll screenshot any payments from those and add them to pics here unless you ask me not to.

Thank you very much for helping me through this last stretch. I’m extremely tired and my knees are buckled and I am not ashamed to ask for help. I’m proud and feel very lucky to have so many of you in my corner.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!