My name is Joey and I've lived with my grandparents for most of my life. I was legally adopted at the age of 1 by my maternal grandparents following frequent severe neglect and abuse that was going to put me in fostercare if not adopted otherwise. Since being adopted I've been threatened to be put into care and put up for adoption by my grandparents since I was a child.
My mother has problems with substance abuse that've prevailed since before I was born, my grandparents would threaten that I would grow up to be a drug addict and homeless if I took an extra cookie for myself. Physical abuse is no longer a problem but I would get hit hard enough to leave marks when I was a child at times, typically over arguments in relation again to food. Since I was about 15 or 16, my grandparents stopped including me in meals and stopped buying groceries for me, if I asked for anything at all I'd be demeaned and it'd start explosive arguments (some resulting in failed suicide attempts from me) food has always been a problem in my household, every single adopt I make and most of the commissions I take go towards groceries and medical expenses because I'm "not allowed" help from my grandmother. My grandfather died due to complications from Alzheimer's and 2 strokes this year, my grandma immediately started threatening me with homelessness and has been threatening to kick me out on and off for the entirety of this year.
Because I'm 21, my grandma says I should live on my own and shows a lot of disgust towards the fact that I'm still here even though she is a landlord herself and owns a property but refuses to let me move in to it and refuses to give me any financial aid whatsoever to finally start living on my own like I want to. It's not my choice to stay here, I don't want to remain trapped until it's too late or wait long enough for her to finally make good on her threats.
With this fundraiser, I'm hoping desperately that I can raise enough money to place a deposit & afford 1-3 months rent somewhere within my town. I don't have any family I can go to and no friends I can live with, if my grandma gets me out of the house I will have to live on the streets. I just need help to get out of this place and find my footing, I'll be able to get employed and continue to cover rent once I'm finally free from this situation.
Every single penny will go straight towards rent, I appreciate anyone who took time out of their day to read this. It's really embarrassing sharing personal details but this has been a vicious cycle of emotional abuse that won't end, I don't know what my grandmother has planned for me but I know it's not good and I'm not sure how much more of this I can endure.
Some examples of things that've happened in my household directed at me (CW for racism, transphobia, physical abuse, verbal abuse and emotional abuse):
- Constantly compared me to apes and monkeys during my childhood (I'm of mixed black/white descent and am the only person of colour in my family, my grandparents and mother are white)
- Threatened to put me up for adoption as if I'm an animal during ages 6-10, arguments would sometimes end with me begging to be placed in care
- Made fun of and berated me for self harming from ages 9-16
- Neglected the health of my cat I adopted at the age of 6, refusing to take her to the vet and also blaming me for her health problems. She passed away due to those health problems at the age of 14 in April. She was all I had, now I have nothing
- Told me about a traumatic event in relation to me when I came out as transgender and refused to support me in any way, only genders me correctly half of the time and constantly mourns my "womanhood"
- Would call me a woman and tell me how I looked like an adult when I was only a child, took no action when I would raise concerns of sexual harassment and implied that it's natural
- Guilts me for refusing to let her touch me even though she used to hit and slap me with her hands and it would leave red marks on my skin, would also say "I never did that" after I would ask her why she hit me
- Called me a "bitch" and angrily slammed the door in my face when I was 13 because I didn't say "goodnight" back to her
- Constantly lovebombs me after a phase of abuse, she goes in and out of abusive phases. Apologies are rare and typically to save face
- Begged me not to start Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) because she thinks I should've been a beautiful woman
- Compares my medical problems to hers, implies constantly that I should just cope with a congenital knee deformation (our most recent argument was concerning this)
- Insults me, gets mad at me, and tells me I'm being rude when I make the mistake of standing up for myself (i.e. asking "what do you want me to do?" "why are you doing this to me?" "what should I do then?")
- Belittles my ability to do anything for myself, constantly saying "don't expect any help from me" and "well I won't help you" if I share any good news with her
- Berates me for NOT sharing news with her
- Constantly compares me to my mother and tells me I'll end up like her
- Threatens me with the fact that she'll eventually die and tries to make me feel bad and responsible somehow for that
- Constantly misgenders me despite being out for years, gets extremely angry if I dare to correct her
- When I came out to her, she outed me to everyone in the family and to all of her friends (I was 16) I wasn't asked for permission. It was immediately made public and she got angry at me for becoming upset over this
- Never treats me like I'm an adult despite using the fact that I'm 21 against me, calls me "this kid" to people more than she calls me "Joey" "my grandson" "my grandchild" or even "he/him". She avoids referring to me at all
- I have ADHD and ASD diagnosed, despite this she only acknowledges my diagnoses when she can use them to insult me
Organizer
Joey Dodd
Organizer