Father Funeral Expenses

My beloved father passed away this Easter Sunday night.  Just one more week and it would’ve marked his fourth year living in the nursing home.  My father suffered from an age-related illness and also a stroke, which he later became an incomplete quadriplegic.  In his case, he couldn’t walk, became wheelchair-bound, unable to raise both arms or even grasp utensils to feed himself, but he still had sensation for pain and temperature.

For the past four years, my mom and I’ve been taking care of him on a daily basis. I visited him at least five days a week, sometimes seven days depending on my workload.  But my mom was there with him every day, from morning till late night.  For the first year, she even stayed overnight to keep him accompanied, until the nursing home banned visitors for staying overnight with residents. 

Mom will cook three meals a day for him daily because my father disliked hospital meals; he was picky. 

As a son, my duties were to:

*Transfer my father in-and-out of bed

*Help him empty his bowels by performing Digital Disimpaction or  Digital Removal of Feces, meaning I will use fingers to manually aid in the removal of stool from his rectum.

*Shower him clean every time I visit him

*Shave him weekly

*Cut his hair cut every three weeks

*Massage his body to prevent joint stiffness and blood clots

*Inspect his body for bed ulcers/sores

*Take him out of the nursing home for a stroll and eat his favorite meals

My father was in a stable stage until the ongoing 2020 Covid-19 pandemic began to hit New York City hard.  The state enforced a rule to have all nursing homes ban all visitors from visiting until further notice.  We had no preparation, the nurse literally told me about it the evening before the day of lockdown was set.  We did not know how long the lockdown will last, so I showered him as usual, shaved him, and cut his hair and nails.  That was the last time we saw Dad in person, that was March 11, 2020.  A month later, which was April 13, Easter Sunday, at 2AM, we got a call from the nursing home. The nurse told me Dad fell unconscious.  They performed CPR on him as we spoke, telling us to be prepared for the worst and get ready to come in.  Moments later, the nurse told me they’re sorry and they did their best.  This hit me hard. I just hope dad had left in his sleep without any pain or suffering.

Next day, the doctor informed me Dad's cause of death was very likely due to MI (Myocardial Infarction) meaning Heart Attack. 

Mom said, "He probably got tired of waiting for us so he just left".

My father’s passing has been extremely hard for us and I am sincerely  asking you to help support us with his funeral expenses during this difficult time.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.