Sending Our Angels Home

This was an update I posted a few days ago when everything came out in the newspaper/news in regards to exactly what happened & why I started this GoFundMe which will be used to assist with the cremation, burial, attorney & other costs for my father, brother, & mother. Unfortunately some individuals had some nasty things to say on certain forums, so I just wanted to clear the air. Our mothers famous saying was: “If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all!”

Also if you could please light a candle for my brother on gunmemorial.org it would be close & dear to my heart regarding gun awareness. ♥️

Good morning everyone. I would just like to take some time to first thank everyone who has donated to help our family properly lay our lost loved ones to rest. I also would like to add & clarify some information. This nightmare we as the family that is left started awhile back I feel. My brother Christopher lost his best friend Rory of over 30 years in March 2021, then our uncle Theodore Gacomis (our mothers older brother) passed away in June 2021, followed by our mom Mary Havir experiencing illness in August that led her to an in and out hospital stay for over 4 months until her sudden death on November 11, 2021. We had our mom cremated and of which I still have her ashes. On March 3rd our father started experiencing medical issues, my brother, my 2 daughters, & myself begged him to go to the hospital in which he finally agreed upon (our father would never see a dr for as long as we can remember). Thus his ER visited led to an almost month and a half hospital stay where he ended up passing away on April 13th 2022 due to many issues he was presented with while there (some muscular testing of which I have yet to receive the results of). Then on Friday April 15, 2022, my brother set our childhood home on fire & shot himself. My brother resided at this home for the past few years with our dad. He also suffered from retinitis pigmentosa, cervical issues, as well as lung issues. Do I as his sister feel he was dealing with the losses in his own manner, yes. As my brother wasn’t one to show his emotions on the outside, but more one to bottle it up inside. My brother, daughters & myself were in the process of preparing for an estate sale to help with the cost of the cremation, burial & attorney fees (as there was no will) regarding our father Kenneth Havir & his estate as we were not prepared to be in the financial situation we were now facing, we spoke of also working on the house to take down old fencing, painting the foundation etc. We were working as a family to support & help one another through all the grief we have dealt with previously. Just like our parents Ken & Mary taught us to do. Friends & family who know us all can tell anyone that even through our parents divorce when we were children, that it never stopped our family from still being a family as a whole, and by that I mean our parents still enjoyed phone calls with each other, holidays as a whole, family events, vacations, everything a normal married family would still do. Our parents never ceased to show us all how much love surrounded us. Now I alone as the only next of kin in this case to our mother, father and now my brother am facing even a larger financial burden. Our mom had nothing which is why we cremated her but never had her buried (as I still have her ashes), and as my brother also had nothing. Our father had a cremation plot for himself at Memorial Shrine of which is where his final resting place was to be. But since the passing of our mother, father & now my brother I find it only fitting to have them all rest together, and if it wasn’t for another family member offering their plot which can hold 3 cremations I don’t know how I would be able to do so. I am still faced with an approximate $750.00 fee to have the ground opened, as well as my father & brothers cremations are $1150.00 each, death certificates of which are $20.00 each, thus this does not include the required flat head stones which start per Memorial Shrine at an approximate $2000.00+ each, and as we are trying to see if they can accommodate all 3 on one or if multiple headstones will be required, or the supplies we needed to board up our fathers home after the fire, etc. Then comes what I would like to clarify in regards to the celebration of life, as I think others are under the misconception of how this is being stated or portrayed. Our parents have always told us they never wanted the traditional funeral where everyone is crying & grieving over them, as they would much rather others smiling, reminiscing about all the memories they shared with each other, and to have a celebration of life. We had a similar celebration of life for our mom just 5 months ago, and even then financially it was hard but if it wasn’t for money I had saved, others, or the hall of which we had it at, being donated for use, again I don’t know how we would have done it. Unfortunately now I am in a spot financially where I am unable to afford it, which is why I created this GoFundMe. Also to clarify we as what’s left of our family wanted to create a bucket list (which was actually suggested by my daughters boyfriend, and hoping to make us smile after our father passed) to someday do what our lost loved ones enjoyed. Thus being our father enjoyed revisiting places he grew up at, rides around Harvey’s Lake, Grotto Pizza, Jones Potato Pancakes, Ranch Wagon, Francis Slocum where his dad was a park ranger, Bloomsburg Fair, TGIF’s for pot stickers, treasure hunting, auctions, traveling (as since we were children my father would take us to Disney), doing things as a family always. In no means would the funds from this GoFundMe be used for these purposes, as this is something we would like to do knowing that he enjoyed these things. My brother enjoyed the outdoors, such as camping, hanging with family & friends, cooking, helping his friends in the band, learning about our Greek heritage. Our mom loved our family, our Greek heritage as well, traveling, the outdoors, camping, she loved the ocean, the mountains, seeing everyone smile, she was also a wonderful hairstylist for many years up until she hurt her back. So with all our family loved we hope we can keep their memories alive and do the things they loved to do as well as tell of them to the next generations to come. Please I just ask even if unable to donate that you just hug your loved ones tight, talk with one another, if children (like me) are asked by a parent to sit down and discuss things, please make sure to do so when your asked (even though it’s not something we want to think about), prepare for yourselves so that it makes it easier on others left behind, and if someone is struggle mentally with life, or death seek help as mental health is serious. I only wish my brother spoke to me, a friend, support group or anyone. As no family should ever have to face such heartaches.

This week our family suffered a tremendous loss of our two loved ones Ken Havir on April 13, 2022 due to medical reasons and Chris Havir on April 15, 2022 in a tragic house fire. Our family would like to be sure Ken and Christopher can rest at peace together alongside their beloved ex wife and mother Mary R. Havir whom we lost on November 11, 2021. We would also love to have a celebration of life in memory of Ken Havir and Christopher Havir to be determined at a later date. Please continue to keep our family in your thoughts and prayers during these traumatic events.