My name is Jennifer Richardson, and below is a bit about me and my family. I am a wife and mom of 4 with metastatic breast cancer. I am almost 5 years into this diagnosis.

From Facebook:

As you know, I’ve stopped posting here

very often. It honestly just gets so hard to explain things over and over, or to try not

to leave everyone with a bad taste. The reality is that metastatic cancer, any type of cancer that spreads from one part to another, is deadly.

I’ve been fortunate to almost make it 5 years so far, but last week was a rollercoaster. I was in a meeting with colleagues and suddenly struggled to get words I knew out of my

mouth. That was Thursday. I came into the ER at Mayo and remained hospitalized now. That burst of symptoms is gone for now but I’ve been diagnosed with metastatic spread to the leptomeninges, or the lining of my brain. Even with treatment, this has a very short life expectancy. Despite everything I have done and could possibly do, I expect my worst fear to come true. It’s not death. It’s not sickness or medications. It is the same thing it’s always been - that my children will grieve. I have 18,15,12, and 8-year-olds, so what that means is different to each of them, and the weight is crushing. I’m of course sad for my husband and mother and other family members and friends, but that is completely eclipsed by the grief I feel for my own children and what they will feel sooner than I’d ever hoped.

Because of the grief they will bear and because those babies were woven in my womb, I want everyone to publicly know that I do not want a funeral. My children are sweet and sometimes silly and shy, and being squeezed by strangers is too

much. It is hard enough as it is. I’ve told Quincy, my mom, and one friend about a small number of immediate family I’d like invited to share some food and a memory, and to go have fun at Disney and buy a trinket to remember mom. I told Quincy that people who would have wanted to come to a funeral for me can sign some sort of page online or send a note in the mail, and I truly mean none of you ill. I am just protecting my babies one last time.

I have asked to be cremated, like we did with our stillborn, Ransom, and like Ransom, have some of my ashes placed in a tube inside a build a bear - one each for my husband, mom, Ephraim, Aspen, Sawyer, and Maverick. I’ve told him to be in charge of those trinkets and bears and buy backups that are locked away in case anyone loses one. It’s too big a responsibility and weight for a child, and while I want them to have these items, I NEVER want them to feel sad or guilty for losing them. That’s not the point.

Healthwise, nothing is guaranteed and I’ll do what I can, but it isn’t much. So, now I’m doing something I’ve never done myself but that is important to me and would help me go with peace of mind. Throughout this journey, we’ve spent about $55,000 a year (x 5 years) on medical costs on top of insurance and out of pocket maxes. We’ve been able to do this and stay afloat with our two incomes and four kids. However, as the resident bookkeeper, I have no idea how my husband and children will be able to stay in our house without my income. My mom is around the corner and helps so much, and having that closeness and support is important to me on behalf of my husband and kids. Quincy hasn’t previewed or approved this, but I feel how I feel. I’m so grateful for my friends who previously rallied support for me to have the histotripsy procedure awhile back, but this time, I want to ask on my own, and I’m not asking for me, I’m asking for my husband and children. Can you please help us pay off what remains of our medical debt and mortgage? This means so much more to me than cards or flowers or potlucks. If you cannot, PLEASE don’t feel guilty. Verbal, physical, spiritual, and emotional support all count!

It means that before I go be with Jesus, I can be confident my husband and children are secure at home with my mom’s close support, and that will lift a huge burden for me.

Thank you,

Jennifer