I hesitated about doing this, because of pride and fear of judgement, we all know some one with cancer and people kill animals everyday with no second thoughts. But I have the life and death of my best buddy, my partner, my son, between my hands. The cost of keeping him alive and confortable is so high. As a single and hardworking woman trying to support her life in Paris. I’ve had to blow all my savings. Been homeless for nearly 2 years. And my loyal fluffy boy has been by my side. As you mostly all know, he has an aggressive cancerous tumour. I felt like I was just coming out of a long dark space when he got the diagnosis back in February and then, smack, along came this. And it was already quite advanced. Because of the cost being so high, I had to chose not to get him operated on which would have required being followed up by chemo and radio regularly for the rest of his life. Coming to between 6000-10000€ just that alone. It was also a risk. Despite opting out of that it’s still cost 1000s in scans and tests and the minimum option for medication and care. Plus of course the emotional rollercoaster and the physical strain of me carrying him more and more. He is fighting for me and I am fighting for him despite all care being palliative. This whole journey has made me believe in miracles and again and the power of love. The importance of surrounding yourself with a life that fulfills you and nature, mountains and beaches. Adapting to another’s pace. The little moments. Taking it day by day. Knowing someone needs you and loves you. Giving reason to hold on. March and April in the mountains he miraculously was doing better, and May in the uk too I think thanks to thee environments he was in and cortisol. He wasn’t like before no, but he was present. The body follows the mind and moral. I saw that first hand in Marty. We enjoyed so many precious moments together in that time. I’m thankful for everything, even picking up solid healthy poos. He has been trying this whole time. This month he has had a few episodes. And needed an extra 1000€ in treatment on top of the regular check ups and treatments he has needed once or twice a month each time costing around €200 or more. Its not only hard financially alone but also emotionally and physically. I adapt around him. I take my car because the metro is getting harder work. Or he has to stay home alone. My jobs and all you wonderful people in my life have been amazing and its been another moment I got see such a beautiful side to humanity and to bond with people I might not have met and/or bonded with so well otherwise thanks to Marty. Today’s vet appointment, I had to take his palliative care to the next level and I will have to buy a more expensive medication and do check ups more frequently. I am thankful for the work I have I’m doing my best giving all I’ve got to him. But it’s a lot, when I’ve been trying to fix and rebuild my life too. I know eventually I will have to chose another individual’s fate between life and death, and I can’t ask his opinion. But I want that to be when he is ready and at that stage and has nothing more to give. It’s not his time yet. I don’t want to abandon him prematurely for financial reasons. Or have him here suffering because I can’t afford what’s out there to have. We wouldn’t just kill a human before their time. He has defied the odds so far. So, this is the most difficult bit for me, more difficult than carrying him and clearing up poo, and crushing up medication, and slowing down to walk at his pace. If you know me well enough you know I hate asking for anything. Hate asking for help is harder than all that. But life makes you do that some times. If you have just €5 or €10 it would help me out so much towards the vet bills, the medication, the food, and maybe a supportive harness,