Protecting My Daughter After Abuse

Protecting My Daughter After Abuse — A Mother’s Plea for Legal Help

On February 13, 2025, my 10-year-old daughter Lila and I had to lock ourselves in the bathroom. It was the only way we believed we could escape her father’s sudden outburst of rage and verbal abuse that evening.

I was filling the bathtub for Lila’s hot bath when I heard her scream. I turned around and saw her struggling to shut the bathroom door against her father. Lila cried out, “Privacy!” but he refused to let her close it. While Lila and I tried to take the bath, he stood in the doorway, filming us for nearly 20 minutes. Terrified, we hid behind the shower curtain until we could get out. As soon as we did, I called the police.

Because of this incident—along with 11 years of physical, verbal, and financial abuse, and his use of hidden cameras for surveillance—the court issued a three-year Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO) against him. The abuse, which began when I was pregnant, is recorded in hospital records and police reports, and he was even jailed once for domestic violence. In the months leading up to the DVRO, he cut off all financial support, leaving my daughter and me without enough to eat while he bought himself steak dinners and went on trips. When Lila developed a high fever of nearly 104°F, he had already canceled her health insurance and still took her, crying, to a ski resort.

Yet the order does not protect my daughter, even though she was directly involved and traumatized. She is still being forced into visitation with her father, and the judge is now considering expanding those visits to overnight stays.

For years I stayed silent, trapped by fear and dependence. But after the bathroom incident, I knew I had to break free—for my daughter’s safety as well as my own. With the support of local organizations such as the Family Violence Law Center (FVLC) and the Asian Women’s Shelter (AWS), I found the courage to file for a DVRO and start rebuilding our lives.

Now, however, I face a new challenge. My daughter’s father has hired an expensive attorney determined to discredit me, while I remain without legal representation. The court is reviewing whether to expand his visitation rights, even though Lila continues to suffer deeply from fear and trauma.

Lila is currently in court-ordered therapy, which has been crucial for her healing. But therapy costs $750 a month, on top of our living expenses. I would also like to request a Minor’s Counsel to ensure Lila’s voice and experiences are properly heard in court, but the cost is far beyond my reach. As an immigrant mother from Korea who has spent the last ten years as a full-time caregiver and homemaker, I am struggling to cover basic needs, let alone the legal fees needed to protect my daughter.

I am asking for your support to help us cover Lila’s therapy and to afford the legal representation I urgently need for the upcoming hearings. Every contribution—large or small—will directly help me continue protecting my daughter.

If you are unable to donate, please consider sharing our campaign with your community. Your support means more to us than words can express.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story and for helping us rebuild our lives with hope and dignity.

With gratitude,

Luna