Progress Isn't Linear - Veronica's return to treatment

Hello dear friends,

For years, I’ve said that progress isn’t linear, and now it’s time for me to listen to those words myself. It is incredibly vulnerable, hard, and humbling to be reaching out to this beautiful community again for help. As a disabled, queer, Trans Woman, any and all help is so appreciated.

THE “TOO LONG DIDN’T READ” VERSION

On April 15th I am checking back into a residential mental health facility for 30-60 days.

In order to get the care I need from the one place I know can help, I am being required to pay over $45,000 out of pocket.

THE EXPANDED VERSION

I am insured by Medi-Cal (California’s Medicaid), and as a result, I can only get insurance-sponsored residential treatment if I go to a county or state-run facility, none of which have programs that both meet my mental health support needs and my needs as a trans woman simultaneously. I have found success in the past with one particular residential treatment center, but unfortunately Medi-Cal is unwilling to pay for their services, making me a “cash patient”.

I am currently working to try to get private insurance that contracts with this particular program, but will likely not be able to secure this before my admission date, if at all. If I can secure other insurance, and get retroactive coverage (which while possible is unlikely), the cost will decrease substantially, but I will still owe thousands in insurance premiums and co-insurance.

Mental health and healing are journeys that are often full of switchbacks, which are made even more treacherous as the US healthcare system is built against us, especially being a queer, disabled, transgender woman.

---

This summer, I experienced a series of traumatic events that have caused childhood trauma to resurface in a big way. Even with the support of my therapist, I have been unable to get it under control, feeling alone even when surrounded by loved ones, and unable to see the light of healing.

Without going into triggering detail, my therapist and I have been working hard to help me heal, and have come to the conclusion that I need a higher level of care than can be provided through our outpatient sessions.

It’s painful to accept that trauma still exists even after taking steps towards my happiness, such as being sober for over 4 months, starting my dream of getting a degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine, and Other Cat’s diabetes finally being managed.

I have found so much joy and light in being in community (and sprinkling everything with glitter✨) with you all through the years - and it is my intention to remain in community with you for years to come. To do so I need your support right now to re-enter treatment and get the care that I need. Thank you so much for your kindness and support, be it donating funds or donating your time to share this page.

A THANK YOU TO MY MOM

Finally, I'm so grateful for my mom who is graciously pooling her resources to put a deposit down for my admission to the program, allowing me to admit on 4/15, and my goal would be to reimburse her so she can be the best grandma to my niblings.

ABOUT ME, VERONICA!

For those of you who don't know me - I have worked in the coffee industry for 12 years and ran a non-profit in the coffee industry to support marginalized coffee professionals in the industry. I recently started graduate school to get my masters in Traditional Chinese Medicine. I hope to one day be a part of an community organization to provide free/low cost access to healthcare safely for our queer and transgender community.

Finally, I have a fantastic diabetic, toothless, three legged cat named Other Cat, who needs his mama to heal.