I'm in desperate need of help with rent next month! I really wouldn't normally admit that I'm struggling, let alone ask for help from anyone, but at this point, I have no other choice. I lost my dad 4 months ago and have no one else to turn to. I let my boyfriend move in with me this past December, and we split the rent. Everything was mostly OK until April 3rd, when I got the worst call of my life and was told my dad had passed. Let's just say that we had not been together long enough and were not strong enough to know how to be there for each other. We started to argue more often and way more intensely than ever before, and it was all downhill from there.

As things got worse, he did start getting physical in arguments around 2 months ago. Nothing major at first, like getting in my face and pushing me down on the bed, but a month ago we had an extremely ugly relationship-ending blowout. That night he was pushing me so hard that I fell a few times, pulling my hair, and was screaming horrible insults in my face. Even though we obviously broke up, unfortunately, he couldn't move out right away. I was fully committed to the breakup and was mentally preparing to be alone again, but since I still had to see him every day, he managed to wear me down, and we started talking again. Before I knew it, we were back together. We agreed that this would be a fresh start and that we would forgive all the issues from before. Yes, I know it sounds foolish, but I loved the guy too much not to give it one final last-ditch effort.

To my surprise, we were getting along really well, and I was letting myself be hopeful for the future. Cut to this past Tuesday morning when I woke up at 5 am to get ready for work. I jumped in the shower and saw a syringe on the window. He works graveyard and had showered there the night before, but make no mistake, it belonged to him. And that's not the first time I found a needle either. I gave him a one-time pass and didn't make a big deal out of it, but this one I could not tolerate. I stood my ground and told him he had to move out at the end of August, but he lost it, and the argument got physical again. This time he was hitting me as hard as he could over my head with a pillow and cocking his fist back like he was going to take a swing at me. He had been shooting up and lying about it for God knows how long, but apparently, in his mind, I was the bad guy, and everything he has done was justified. At one point, he actually had the nerve to say it was all my fault for driving him to shoot up.

Again, he lives with me, unfortunately, so I can't avoid him, and he subjects me to reactive abuse by following me around, running his mouth, and endlessly spouting the most horrible, hurtful things he can think of for the sole purpose of making me flip out on him and start yelling so he can paint me as crazy and make everyone think he's so innocent. So, I wear headphones on high so he can't get a rise out of me, but Thursday evening he got frustrated by my lack of response, and the pushing led to trying to choke me out. The landlord called the cops, but he bailed and drove off before they got there. They took a report and told me to call them if he comes back, and they'll arrest him and to get a restraining order in the morning. This prompted him to find somewhere to go right away, and he moved out today. While I'm thankful that he's gone and this is over, I don't have the money to cover the entire rent by myself. I literally have nowhere to go and no one to ask for help, and I'm terrified I'll wind up on the street. Everything is made even harder because I'm constantly reminded that the one person I need to get me through this is gone, and I'm more alone than ever. I'm a good person, and I've been through way more than one person can handle, but I'll never give up. Please help me keep a roof over my head!