What should be a happy time for our family has been filled with a lot of stress and worries. Being pregnant and getting diagnosed with stage 2 invasive ductal carcinoma grade 3 has thrown a major curveball at us.

Around this time last year, we made the decision for me to become a stay-at-home mom because the cost of putting our four children in daycare would leave little to no extra funds if I were to work. In March of this year, we got the surprise that we are pregnant! Baby number 5 and completely unplanned.

Fast forward a few months later, I noticed a large lump in my left breast and wrote it off as pregnancy hormones until I noticed it getting larger. After some imaging and a biopsy, we got the news that would stop us dead in our tracks. Triple negative, invasive, high grade. All words I didn’t really understand. After speaking with the breast specialist and oncologist, we learned that triple negative is the most aggressive form of breast cancer and we needed to treat aggressively and quickly. Add on that I’m pregnant adds a whole new level of complexity.

Losing my breasts, losing the ability to breastfeed our upcoming son has been heartbreaking. But for some selfish, vain reason, the thought of losing my hair has hit me the hardest. It’s like I’m losing my whole identity as a woman. I’ve read mixed reviews on cold capping, that it’s supposed to save a percentage of your hair, but it’s $500 a month and between $400-$600 a session to have a professional fit it for you! Why is the thought of losing my hair hitting me the hardest? I don’t know. I think of my daughter looking at me like I’m a monster, ugly and bald. I don’t know.

Tyler will have to take quite a bit of time off work to help out, as I’ll be going through this and I just don’t think we can afford to pay for cold capping. And as embarrassing and humiliating as it is to ask for financial help, I’d be upset with myself if I didn’t try everything. I’m starting chemo on Monday, August the 18th, and any help I can get would be greatly appreciated.