Dear family…

I am at cry for help..

I never thought I would have to ask for something like this before... but if there is anything i’ve learned from this injury, it’s that it's okay to ask for help back up when you've fallen down... 
I am suffering from a leg injury that I am deeply struggling with. The doctor told me how serious my injury is and when I asked what I needed to do, he told me, as my eyes filled with tears...
I looked at him and my silence said it all... I need help.

4 months ago I “fractured” my leg in Guatemala on my way to perform at a festival for New Years, which quickly changed.. I remained on peoples backs the entire festival, remained my happy giggly self, showing light in all ways possible! But deep down I was hurting... and I needed to see a doctor. I went to a doctor after the festival to be told that I had a hairline fracture and I should be walking in a month or so… I stayed in that cast until he took it off… not even knowing that the whole time this cast was on, it was setting my leg the wrong way.. but I had to walk to the next country.. to train for the next festival in Costa Rica. I was told I was okay.. So I listened. I continued my journey… I prayed that the pain would go away and unfortunately it never really did.. It came in waves.. I had the happiest smile on my face when I could move without pain and tears of frustration when I couldn’t… I did everything I could to turn my dream of performing at Envision Festival real. I was so close.. a month a way.. and so I rested as much as I could while being around my circus family in the middle of training.. Continuing to get piggy back rides from all of my amazing friends. Envision came and I performed.. it was the first time I had been able to dance since I broke my leg and I was overwhelmed with happiness.. but that pain never fully left.. but I was able to get around.. so I thought I was healing... (I thought...) so I continued with what I knew..

But when it was time to finally come back to America, 4 months later, and carry that big backpack that I had been avoiding.. but I had to get back to home to California.

The moment I landed in America I was hit with so much pain… I was in denial that my leg was still broken… I tried so hard to be brave for so long.. 
If you know me at all, you know I am constantly laughing, seeing the beauty in everything, shedding light on to ALL begins I come in contact with on this beautiful life journey.. and I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I was able to connect deeper with beautiful souls on my travels, to be in stillness and self reflect, to share the message of love with amazing humans. I got to be a light source!
But I knew that at this point this far along.. this pain is trying to tell me something…

I went to the doctor here to find out that I have fully broken my ankle, and that the cast I was previously put in set my leg wrong… the bone still isn’t together and it needs to be re-broken so that the scar tissue can be scrapped away and he can re set my leg... as well as place 4 screws and a plate in my leg along with everything that entails.. a 10,000 dollar process... :( its wild I know...  and then I will have to move towards physical therapy.

Meanwhile…

I turned 26 while I was traveling, which means I no longer have insurance. The doctor says the surgery has to happen now being that the later I wait the worse it gets. And without the surgery, I’ll never walk again…

Dancing is my medicine, my life, my true love, my way of moving through emotions and expressing myself. When he told me this was my only chance to dance again my heart dropped to my stomach as I cried to God for a miracle. For the universe to please show me what I need to do.. How I can possibly afford something like this. God told me to ask for help.. surrender to being held.. to being cared for...

I would never ask for money from you all unless I was in serious need of help… and this is my life here on Earth.. this is my chance to dance again and  to dance I first need to walk.. to be able to get to one place to the next.. to move my feet again without pain.. and I need help making this happen…

If there is anything in your heart that you can afford to be used towards helping my recovery to walking again possible… I bow down to your support.

I love you all so much.. I’m doing my best to keep my head up despite these wild challenges.. to stay in the light.. For there is always light in the darkness and this too shall pass... 

Forever believing in the power of prayer
The power of manifestation
The power of LOVE
The power of us.
We are all one... and will always have each other.

With all the love in my heart,

Ash