Post-Election & Holiday Workshops for DV and SA Survivors

Hi! I am fundraising to offer a resource this winter holiday & pre-Inauguration season for communities impacted by domestic violence and sexual abuse. This is its third year. It begins December 19th and will run through end of January. Several sessions will be available for survivors on Inauguration Day. So, lets' do this.

Five out of the nine workshops have been funded with a mix of private and GFM donations. Any donations that take me over the goal will allow for additional free workshops to go into February and blend into Valentines, an additional challenging holidays for many survivors.

ABOUT: My name is Lexie (they/he). Since the early-pandemic, I have hosted independent workshops over Zoom centering survivors, as well as the people involved with survivors both personally and professionally. I have also been doing so with privately universities and non-profits for over 10 years and working directly with survivors for 15 years.

This holiday season, I once again hope to offer these workshops for free to participants in the months of December and January. Why? Because when I volunteered for a hotline in rural Ohio, nearly 80% of the calls I received came in around the holidays. Traditions, pressure to be merry, to be near family, anniversaries of harm and loss, seasonal depression - all these and more make winter a particularly hard time for many survivors. This is especially true for trans people and childhood sexual abuse survivors - two groups I identify with and whose hardships are rarely addressed in workshops like these.

Additionally, this year's offering will have special emphasis on the recent US presidential election and the reality that several known sex-offenders and traffickers will be awarded positions of power. This raises questions of justice, psychological triggers, and the potential for others with similar behavior to be empowered. This also makes relevant non-profits and resources carry the burden. All of this heightens the need for community care and building tools for relying on ourselves and each other.

In the last two years, a majority of survivor participants were queer and/or trans and it was many of their first times in any survivor-explicit spaces. These groups very quickly filled up - one is already at capacity. And a majority of allies participating in supporting-survivors workshops were helping professionals and dating-partners to survivors.

You can read a little more about holiday challenges for survivors here in Teen Vogue (which also includes a video resource I co-created with film director and friend, Daniel Lobb). Here is more information on the workshops an interview I did with RAINN, and you can read more here about the origins of why I create resources for allies here (which is a tough read & was a tough write).

THE WORKSHOPS: Beyond Self Care is a three-part workshop for survivors that focuses on tools, ideas, and skills that can assist survivors in better-caring for themselves - including working through how to ask for help!

Beyond the Heroic Survivor is a three-part workshop that focuses on tools, ideas, and skills for those who aim to support survivors.

I am also offering one-day workshops focused on holiday time and inauguration needs. Like above, there are different options for survivors and allies. Several of these will take place on Inauguration Day.

All of my workshops for survivors are capped at 10 people and all my workshops for allies are capped at 8 people to maintain intimacy. Unlike most groups and trainings I have attended, we speak to long-term and short-term support. I aim to ensure that we go beyond just speaking to crisis moments and throwing hotline lists at people. This project is not intended as therapy, but as a space to gain skills in connecting to yourself and others through what's learned.

LIL ABOUT ME: I have been working directly with survivors of domestic violence and sexual abuse in various capacities for 15 years. As a survivor myself, I write books and articles on the subject, serve on the RAINN National Leadership Council, have facilitated groups through the restorative justice group Hidden Water, and have hosted or been a part of over 150 panels and events related to DV and SA.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO REGISTER FOR ONE OR MORE OF THE WORKSHOPS! Here are links with much more info and dates.

Options for Survivors, click to register

tinyurl.com/beyondselfcare4survivors - for survivors - including one-day holiday and post-election workshops

DECEMBER

3-week option THURSDAYS - December 19th, 26th, 2nd - 8pm EST - Now full, but will accept anyone needing emergency support

1-day option TUESDAY - December 31st - noon EST

JANUARY

3-week option SATURDAYS - January 4th, 11th, 18th - noon EST

1-day options MONDAY - January 20th (Inauguration Day) - noon EST AND 8pm EST - ONE OF THESE IS OFFICIALLY FUNDRAISED FOR YAY

Options for Allie, click to register

tinyurl.com/beyondtheheroicsurvivor - for allies - including one-day holiday and post-election workshops

DECEMBER

1-day option SATURDAY - December 21st - noon EST - OFFICIALLY FUNDRAISED FOR YAY

1-day option MONDAY - December 30th - 8pm EST - OFFICIALLY FUNDRAISED FOR YAY

JANUARY

3-week option TUESDAYS - January 7th, 14th, 21st - 8pm EST - OFFICIALLY FUNDRAISED FOR YAY

1-day option WEDNESDAY - January 15th - 8pm EST - OFFICIALLY FUNDRAISED FOR YAY

TESTIMONIALS:

Beyond Self Care, for survivors,

"Doing the beyond self care sessions with Lexie was very beneficial to me. It helped me to identify things that I would normally take for granted and not identify as self care. It also gave me a space to share uninhibited. Identifying triggers really helped as well. It also allowed me to think about and identify the triggers I have that i had not thought about which has helped me navigate my mental health a lot better then I previously did." - Joce McCall (she/her)

"I looked forward to this group every week; it was like a warm bath for my psyche. I work as a DV advocate and was starting to feel stuck in work and life. The group felt gentle and safe, which is testament to the tone and tempo set by Lexie, a wonderful facilitator. After our second group session, I finally had the motivation to jump a hurdle that had been in front of me for five years." - Jenna Montgomery (she/her)

Beyond the Heroic Survivor, for allies,

"Beyond the heroic survivor was an eye-opening experience for me. Lexie created a safe, welcoming environment where I felt comfortable sharing. They were patient, flexible and understanding as we navigated difficult topics, and created space for us to learn and process in our own way. After each session I was able to take away new tools, language and perspectives to help me better engage with the survivors in my life. Furthermore, they took detailed notes for us to reference in the future, helping cement what we’d learned and shared. BTHS is a thoughtfully structured course that challenged me to grow my understanding of what it means to be a survivor." - Zach Jamieson (he/him)

"I was in the cis-men specific skillshare, and I was deeply moved by the way our discussions revolved around how best to work with and process the trauma of our loved ones. As a demographic that is less likely (but of course, still able) to become a survivor, this was a space where cis men could share their experiences and struggles with supporting survivors in their lives, and to receive support and understanding from one another. I appreciated that while the aim of the course was focused mainly on different ways to be an ally and a support, it also emphasized that much of this work is internal. For example, two questions that came up for me were: What is the difference between carrying someone else's pain, and holding space for them to express that pain? How can I offer support, while not prescribing a specific "fix"? Discussions surrounding these questions and those like them helped me understand concrete things to do and not do when supporting survivors, and also how to support and show love to myself throughout the process." - John Tournas (he/him)

"Caring for people is about shared vulnerability, and that requires trust, so how do we become trustworthy? Beyond the Heroic Survivor connected to me across personal and systemic levels, addressing the ways abuse can affect us all, even if indirectly. Lexie Bean held space for deep listening and integrating conversation while providing the soft skills for supporting survivors in our lives." - Roz (they/them)

"I spent months looking for the support and resources I needed to be a support to my partner. I looked hard and long, and found very, very little for people who aren't the survivors themselves. I found clinical materials, but being a clinician and a partner are two different things. When I found Lexie's workshop, I saw in his framing and language the kind of welcoming space for me to step into as a straight cis-man to receive the space to share, be seen, and receive the support I needed to be able to be a support. A big part of the block for me to do this kind of work is my own shame and and fears, a primary one among them being the myth that I learned about in this workshop which was "because I'm not the survivor, I don't need, or deserve any help to hold my partner and their pain." It was the first safe space I found myself in to say things that I'd been ashamed of thinking and feeling for a very, very long time, and to be received with empathy and compassion of Lexie and the other men in the group made a real difference for me. It was scary to do, and I'm so, so glad I did it. It is my wish that more men do it, for themselves and for their partners and loved ones." - Anonymous

BREAKDOWN: All donations are welcome, but here is a breakdown of how much these workshops cost per person,

Sponsoring one person’s attendance to any of the one-day holiday workshops costs $50 (middle of the current sliding scale). Sponsoring a whole 8-person group for allies would be $400 and a whole 10-person group for survivors is $500. Between December and January, there are six of these groups with dates listed above.

Sponsoring one survivor for the three-week series is $150 (middle of the current sliding scale). Sponsoring a whole 10-person group would be $1,500. Between December and January, there are two of these groups with dates listed above.

If a miracle happens and we get over the goal amount, the funding would go towards free workshops into February that will take us past the Inauguration and into another often-difficult holiday for survivors, Valentines.

& If you wanna support my work in literature, film, facilitation, advocacy, etc., in a more long-term way, you can find me on Patreon <3 www.patreon.com/itslexiebean