Please Support A Mental Health Crisis

On March 18, a few days after their 14th birthday, my 14 year old child tried to kill themself via overdose.

On March 18, panicked about the support my child would need, I started a GoFundMe.

(In April, my child found my Twitter account and the GoFundMe and I panicked and deleted the GoFundMe - what I'd posted was so raw, so personal. I felt emotionally naked. I also locked my twitter account for a while.)

We raised more money than I expected. We raised so much money that I cried in relief. What I didn't realize was just how long my husband and I would need to be out of work, unpaid, supporting our still critically mentally ill child.

It's mid-May and our child has just been discharged from a partial hospitalization program. It was extremely successful and our child learned a great deal. However, they still need day to day support and it would be disasterous to leave them home alone. My husband and I are working out how to return to work while still having work-at-home days so we'll be with our child. At most this would be 3 days a week. At most. It's a great privilege to be able to work from home at all, I realize this, while also realizing it's not quite enough this soon.

Our child is rattling around the house now as loud as they were a year and a half ago. They barged into the living room the other day and greeted us with "What's up, synapsids!" which is my new favorite non-gendered greeting for a group of people. They are making plans for the future. They are attending class again. They are making jokes. They are waking up in the morning and getting out of bed.

Sometimes I think about this and cry, because we nearly lost all of this... we nearly lost them.

They got quieter and quieter and quieter, like a candle that was burning down. That little flame nearly went out entirely.

My husband's return to work date is next week. Mine is July 5.

We've nearly run out of money.

Bills are still due, including $1,200 in insurance premiums that are due in a few days and a rew remaining hospital bills including one for almost $300 from the emergency room. Co-pays for specialists will also continue to come in.

One upcoming appointment is a full neuropsych exam and it remains uncertain if it's covered by our insurance or not because... it's insurance in the USA. We might be paying out of pocket for it.

Once my husband is working again it'll be at least 2 weeks until he gets a paycheck. If we can't pay the insurance premiums we will lose coverage. Our child is receiving medical care, both psychiatric and physical, and losing coverage will be disasterous for them.

Financially, it would be great if my husband and I both returned to work tomorrow. We still would need help paying our insurance premiums, money would still be tight, but having that month and a half of income from me? It would make an immense difference.

But my sweet, wonderful, creative, hilarious child still needs to be prompted to take a shower.

My child still needs to be reminded to eat.

My child needs support to leave the house and walk in the sunshine.

My child is failing English and Math and will need to take summer school classes to graduate - they still need assistance in starting, finishing, and turning in assignments.

My non-binary child is also grappling with gender issues, including body hair and clothing issues.

Me being home an extra month and a half is a luxury in many ways, but it is also a life saving luxury... and can something "life saving" really be a luxury? I very much believe that my child is still alive due to our previous GoFundMe and our ability to be home and supervise and support our child.

Do you know how hard it is to coax a deeply depressed, non-verbal, barely moving child out of bed and into a car? Out of a car and into a program? We spent an hour getting our child out of bed and into the car one day, encouraging them to to roll over, to sit up, to put one foot on the floor, to put another foot on the floor, to stand up... and it took a psychiatrist half an hour to coax our child from the car and into the program.

I am begging you once again to help us help our child.

I understand if you're tapped out, if you can't give. But please, please, help us care for our child. It takes a community to support each other and I'm turning to my community again. Please help, by donating or by sharing this fundraiser.

Please.