My ex (my son's mother) left while I was in Sick Kids Hospital with my youngest son.

He's one of my three children, although two are older.

Some time after she left, she drove hundreds of miles to drive a wedge between my eldest (my daughter), and then did the same to my oldest son.

Both of which no longer speak with me.

I don't know what she said, but it must have been really bad.

She then lied to the police and told them I was abusive.

Maybe that's what she told my kids.

The police then proceeded to remove me from my house and take my baby from me as well.

They took my home and my son based on an allegation, only one week after I purchased it thinking we could try to make a happy home even though our son was ill.

They had absolutely zero proof or witness or marks of any kind..

Although I did, because she had actually hit ME.

..but I guess her words alone are enough.

I've learned the hard way that some people only need to accuse to be believed. Fathers like myself apparently need to prove their innocence to be seen as innocent in everyone's eyes.

Not just the eyes of the law.

Which is an extremely hard thing to do if the thing you're accused of didn't occur.

Unless there's a recording, how can you possibly prove something that doesn't exist? ‍

Anyway, while I was fighting for my freedom and maintaining my innocence..

She proceeded to empty the house, accounts, credit cards, and everything of value.

She then bafflingly told the courts that she lied.

I mean she flat out said it in front of like ten officers of the court.

You'd think they would immediately arrest her for that, or the judge would do something, but they did nothing at all.

Is perjury only a thing men can be guilty of? I don't get it.

She literally admitted to lying, directly to the crown, and I was the one that got punished.

After I was released, they returned my very sick son (because she clearly didn't want him), and I got the keys back to my now empty house as well.

I surmise that's because she got everything she ACTUALLY wanted.

A way to finance her fun and vacations from responsibility.

At this point I had no alternative but to take out a second mortgage.

Barely after the purchase of my first home, I would now have another mortgage with a third party lender because no one else would accept me.

According to them, my circumstances and an unwell child was a liability.

Only a short time had passed and I already had two mortgages while struggling to support a sick child alone. Imagine that.

I was terrified.

..and even though I paid the initial house payment without her help (and had proof of that) she still didn't have to pay the payments WITH me after leaving.

So she disappeared.

She was gone for six long years while I fought and lost every legal effort to find justice.

..which I had to do on my own as I sat at my son's side, as he struggled with organ failure after life saving surgeries.

I would write to lawyers, and charities, and ombudsmans, and offices of politicians..and no one would ever want to help.

At this juncture, I wasn't just fighting for assistance.

I was fighting for our survival while my son fought for his.

..and it only got worse as time passed.

At the time, I worked in the health care field but was obviously taking a lot of time off, because I had to be in the children's hospital in Toronto, Canada; many hours from where I live.

So it goes without saying that times were extremely tough.

I had no help after all.

Not from charities or governments.

Not from family either. They were all too far away, and I had no friends. They all abandoned me.

You might be as surprised as I was to learn how few of the people you thought you knew, actually care when it counts.

How many of them will turn their backs when you actually need them.

Even if you were always there for them in THEIR time of need, and especially when people keep spreading lies about you.

So really, I had no help at all. Ever.

I was all alone with my baby.

TRULY alone.

..and if that wasn't enough, my ex's sister also happened to work at the medical facility where I worked for over a decade

So you know what happened next?

My ex got her and her friends to constantly file complaints against me until I could no longer work there.

I mean, who cares if I can afford to provide for our child, right?

The child you left behind and wouldn't help raise.

Fast forward..

After six long years, my ex returned to force a sale on the home she never paid for.

Probably because she ran out of party cash..

So again I had to refinance to pay the legal fees, and the twenty thousand dollars I would be forced to pay her despite her never paying a penny for the house.

Either that or live on the street with my child.

Despite being allowed to keep everything she stole, AND the car I purchased that she took when she left.

Leaving me with no vehicle at all.

She had no consequences for her actions.

So now that second mortgage is almost more than the first.

..but this one will never decrease until one day I really do lose this place.

A day that I fear isn't far away.

Anyway, just before her name was removed from the deed, she decided to cancel my home insurance during an ongoing claim.

A sewage back-up/flood.

She wanted some of that money too, but it legally had to go entirely into the actual damages.

Since her name was being removed, she couldn't and wouldn't receive a penny of that, and it made her very angry.

For context, when the flood occurred, it caused a lot of damages including furnace and the basement bathroom that was right next to it.

The furnace was damaged by sewage water, and since my son's condition is lung related, it HAD to be replaced.

It was just too dangerous for him at the time.

Unfortunately for me, her cancellation sabotage occurred after furnace was removed, but not before another was installed.

She chose to tell the insurance company that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to.

You see the bathroom was a tiny one.

Since the back wall was ruined and had to be removed, I thought maybe I could make a better bathroom there eventually.

So I decided to purchase the things I needed for the larger bathroom instead of actually fixing the bathroom and its wall as as it was.

Her accusation was that I didn't spend the money as I was supposed to.

Because of this, the insurance company decided not to continue with the claim until an investigation was conducted.

..and although every penny WAS spent on that bathroom (a room I still haven't been able to rebuild because of this), they halted all repairs.

Since it was winter, and we couldn't go without heat for obvious reasons, and because I was back and forth to another city for extremely important appointments and lengthy hospitalizations, I just couldn't afford fight them AND my ex individually, let alone simultaneously.

So sadly I had to rent one..one that I now pay many hundreds for each month.

Hundreds that I definitely can't afford.

..but that's not all.

I wish it was but I've barely scratched the surface.

Every holiday she calls the police to disrupt whatever happy moments we're attempting to make amongst all this suffering.

..and during covid times, she made more accusations while my son and I were in isolation due to his health.

Because of this I was audited five times.

FIVE. Can you believe that?

..and although nothing came of them, it was an extremely intrusive, stressful, time consuming process, and I think I'm now blacklisted by the government because of it.

I mean, I don't have any other logical explanation.

I haven't been able to find work despite having two degrees, first aid certification, a B-Class license, and extensive experience in numerous professions that span from computer tech and graphic development, to factory work, to the medical field.

Now years later..

My son is older and the courts have granted her joint custody..

You know, because she was finally ready to be a mom after all the really hard work is done.

Not ready enough to pay for anything though.

That's still all on me.

..but they granted this to her immediately anyway, and took my child from me again. Half of the time this time.

They did this even though she didn't even have a bedroom for him.

It didn't matter.

It would probably matter if the roles were reversed though.

If I had done even half of thi, s I'd be lucky to have supervised visitation, and I'd most certainly have my wages garnished.

She doesn't have to pay support or retroactive support though.

..and she's even permitted to claim him on her taxes.

To this day she has never paid a thing for him throughout his entire life.

Not clothing, not toys, needs or necessities. Nothing!

She's never even bought him a single birthday or Christmas gift, and STILL everyone thinks I'm the villain despite the copious amounts of common sense evidence against her lies.

Evidently people really do believe what they want to believe, and apparently fathers are always immediately the problem..even if we're not.

Anyway, there are photos all over the internet of her sitting under palm trees with drinks that have tiny little umbrellas.

She was living the good life, while I was struggling financially, as I stayed by my boy's side throughout his many health battles.

He slept on MY chest every night, but somehow I'm not the primary parent now that she's back.

Somehow everyone, both personal AND professional believe I was somehow the reason.

They all always say the exact same thing.

Even thought she's responsible for all of these terrible things, they still always say something like "What did you do too deserve this? You must have done SOMEthing!"

..and it's not only cruel, but spectacularly unfair.

It doesn't matter that I was loyal, and honest, and kind.

No one believes it now because of the many rumours over the years.

People aren't talking to me so the rumours must be true. Right?

All the harassment mail I still receive shows just how people really feel, and how cruel they can really be.

I mean..she left and abandoned her sick child for more than half a decade, but I'm the bad guy.. Gotcha!

Today, I have an 80k second mortgage debt (soon to be in the 90's) because of her; a debt that can never be paid off because it never decreases..

I'm forced to live as if this is what I deserve, and I have very little hope.

I've lost almost everything..and the sadness in me is so overwhelming, but I have to be strong, for him. For my son.

For my baby.

Even if he's not here all the time now.

..because I love my son so very much!

Please somebody, help me make sense of all this.

I'm struggling just to pay bills, taxes, and food, and pay for everything my son needs.

..and because I can't find reasonable work, to sustain us I only have the rhymes and five rhyming children's books I created and published during Covid times, and the twenty-four songs I wrote and published as well.

..and it isn't enough.

It's not nearly enough.

I make nothing from them, and I've been waiting on a call for work for a long time.

I'm in the red every month, and now at the end of this month I'll have to renew this second mortgage, (that started at 40k and jumped to 80k during Covid), and it'll now be almost 100k because as said, a third party loan never goes down..

Without help, I'll never escape this loan shark loan that only exists because I trusted the wrong person, and had no choice but to put my son first.

..because he matters most.

At least to me.

I mean, what kind of father would I be if I did what she did?

Would anyone care to protect me as they have her..even though I've only ever tried to do the right thing?

Yeah, I didn't think so either.

People tell me to just get over it..

As if that's so easy.

..but how do you get over something you can't avoid..something that's still continuing to destroy your life to this very day?