Please help us fund our mom’s funeral

*Please help our family fund a decent funeral for my mom, Margaret Anne Dever. This is completely out of pocket; no insurance involved, unfortunately.*

My name is Amanda Silva, her youngest child. On Sunday, April 14, 2019, a day after my mom’s 64th birthday, I said “bye” to her as I left her house to run a couple errands. I came home after an hour or so and as I was looking for my mom to tell her I was back, I found her lifeless in her bed. I called 911 immediately and they came and did CPR for about 10 minutes. The EMTs were able to restore her heartbeat, although she required constant air on the way to the hospital. She immediately went on life support and the doctors began looking for the cause of her death and what it would take to keep her heart beating. From our understanding, she had an arterial blockage leading to her heart, which means she suffered from cardiac arrest.

It’s unknown how long she was unable to breathe and the lack of oxygen to her brain caused severe, permanent damage. She was given a temporary pace maker and remained on life support for two weeks while myself and the rest of our family stood by her side. We stayed with her while neurologists and other specialists determined what her odds were of waking up again. It was evident from their multiple tests and scans, that critical parts of her brain became inoperable and permanently inactive. She would not be able to breathe without life support, “wake up,” or function in any capacity. The areas of her brain that were damaged by oxygen deprivation following her cardiac arrest, took away all autonomic nervous system control, including the part that made her who she was and all of her memory.

This news devastated us as we came to terms with reality. We’d never hear her voice, laugh, jokes, words of love, and we’d never get another hug from her again. During the time with her in the hospital, her condition only declined and the doctors’ suggestions that she would never be able to respond to commands or come back to us... became more real with each passing day. This was more than just a coma or memory loss. The docs said that if we kept her alive through a tracheotomy, a risky option, she would suffer for as long as she stayed alive on the machines. We considered what that may be like for whatever may be left in her mind, alone in a nursing home, unaware whether she had visitors or not, possibly feeling pain and being helpless to react to it. It sounded like torture for her and daily heartbreak for the rest of us.

On Sunday, 28 April, 2019, my sisters, brother, stepdad and I, made the difficult and heart-wrenching decision to let her go peacefully. On Tuesday, 30 April, 2019, she was taken off the machine that was keeping her alive and her family gathered at Valley Hospital in Las Vegas, Nevada to share our goodbyes and pray with the pastor. In the late evening of Wednesday, 1 May, 2019, she passed away naturally. We believe this is what she would have wanted, given the lack of more promising options. She wouldn’t have wanted to be hooked up to machines and a feeding tube with the inability to move, think, or function, spending an endless amount of time living in a nursing home as a vegetable. She wouldn’t want her loved ones to relive that experience everyday, or to see her that way. She was a strong woman in life and that’s how we will always remember her.

We have burial expenses that we cannot afford because her passing was so unexpected. She leaves behind myself, my sisters (Renee and Theresa), and brother (Jesse). Her husband (Kenny), her dog Peanut (who’s just as crushed and confused), her mother, sister, four grandchildren, many other family members, and a lifetime of friends who miss her dearly. She was the most loving mom to my siblings and I and such a good-hearted woman to the people who knew her. She left an impact on everybody... which is why everyone loves her and remembers the light she brought to any dark situation. This is heartbreaking beyond what I can put into words for this sincere cry for help funding her funeral. Please help my family give my mother a proper funeral. She didn’t have insurance to cover these expenses. We will post updates in regards to her service as soon as we have the details figured out.

Thank you all for your love and support!!

Sincerely,
Amanda Silva on behalf of the Silva/Dever family