Please help me heal from losing my brother.

My brother Jeremy was diagnosised with liver faliure on July 25th 2024. He was brought by ambulance to mercy hospital in roseburg after 9 hours of puking blood at his roseburg home. He stayed a week at mercy fighting for his life and given a awful diagnosis. We as a family decided to bring him back to Portland. On Saturday August 8th I brought him to providence for better care. Jen met us here and we got him back right a way. It was the scariest drive of my life. Since we got here we have received the best care ever. Last Thursday my brother was denied for a liver transplant by OHSU, Washington, UCLA and pretty much everywhere in the Northwest due to there impossible exception process. We were told about Texas so last week I did everything I could to set it up. I told both my jobs I was leaving and didn't know when I would be back. I set up a plan with my family, figured out multiple ways to get there and put everything in my life on stand still so I could continue staying by his side for the months of recovery we would have down in Texas. Monday night Jeremy took a turn for the worst its still confusing how it happened but thats another story for another time but i will say its super suspicious. His kidney numbers were doing great when I left at 5pm monday but about 8pm he started vomiting blood. I have been documenting this whole time all his numbers and everything he has gone through. I had a meeting with the doctors on Tuesday morning to talk about Texas and they said that Jeremy was not stable for our trip anymore but they would do there best to fix that in the next two days. I already was living the worst nightmare for a month staying with him 80 percent of the time along with my sister, aunt, mom and his best friend. I didn't think it could get any worst. But it did. Tuesday was a really rough day but the puking and bleeding had stop it's so ironic he only had episodes when I was gone. From day one I have been my brothers advocate. He was abandoned in the icu alone and scared. Stacy and I rushed to be by his side when they awoke him from the sedation i had to explain what had happened. I have been the one to explain to my brother everything in this journey. The 3 different times he was told he was gonna die, his wife leaving and abandoning him, his diagnosis, the trip was on hold and everything in between I could go on and on. However on Wednesday everything changed the doctors told my sister and I his kidneys are so damaged there beyond repair and there was nothing else they could do. We explained it to him. We're not sure how much he understood because 1 minute our brother is there but the next moment he is gone. After a deep family conversation we moved him to comfort care yesterday morning. Now we are holding on to every moment we can get. The nurse staff is amazing and have taught me how to work his machines, his bed alarms and I am his POA. So I have had to make choices with the family vote which has been hard. Today I decided with out any conversation to donate Jeremys good body parts when the time comes. He has beautiful eyes, gorgeous skin and a strong heart. I hope we can meet the people that get those parts to carry on my brother.

I don't know when the time will come but I know it will be sooner then later and I know my heart will break the rest of the way. Jeremy and I have a connection like know other and I hate that I am losing my other half. I am very proud and I hate to ask for help but I need stay with Jeremy until the end and need sometime to heal when this over. If you feel inclined to help I would appreciate it if not please share this story. When this over I am going to tell this story in hope to help others and set up some sort of something for families. I have been through alot but this by far is the hardest thing I have ever been through.