Please help save my first SAFE home in 14 years

Hello World.

A year ago the unsafe conditions of my SMBC owned, wheelchair accessible bungalow, affected my mental health so much, I set fire to the kitchen in an attempt to destroy it and save my life, then I drove across town to take revenge on the man who wrote a letter of apology for damaging my spine, because I felt a letter of apology was not an appropriate consequence, and decided to take the law into my own hands.

I wasn't angry at him, I was angry at what he was allowed to do, I don't blame him for my injury, but those that I do blame are protected and out of my reach in every way. I came to my senses less than a mile from my previous home, dialled 999 and asked for help. Spent a night in the cells, hung around for questioning by West Midlands finest then, after a brief pitstop at the bungalow to survey the damage with my mother and a friend, be mocked for my terrible arson skills and reassure them I was as ok as could be expected in the circumstances, I drove to Cornwall to heal among friends.

My version of the events that led to my downfall can be seen here and will be complete this week, I’ve got this “Timeline Trauma” thing licked and nothing left to lose, others can tell their version in their own way.

I'm here to ask for help because for the last year I've been quietly accepting the consequences of my behaviour and healing. I've received support for Trauma, physio for dropfoot and spent as much time outdoors as I'm physically able to. In short, I've been trying to move forwards positively, but the repairs scheduled to take between 6 and 8 weeks have not yet commenced, and the teams at SMBC responsible for carrying on the work can’t seem to find the right parts.

I was responsible for arranging accommodation in the meantime because I set the fire, I accepted this without question. My mother met me and purchased a caravan for me to live in while waiting for the repairs, she included adaptations to make it user friendly for her gimpy daughter, my own finances being a black hole thanks to care charges and rent for an unsafe home. I planned to rent it from her for a couple of months before she planned to enjoy her retirement, sending me around the country to set up her caravan in many scenic areas, because she likes the idea of caravan ownership, but dislikes the idea of towing a caravan. We thought she could also rent it out to other ambulatory wheelchair users who still want to explore the great outdoors to help with payments, I was going to be her number one customer.

I took a caravan towing course and delivery of the caravan, set up a cool home office to become my companies first digital nomad, then set about restoring my health. Working full time from home I took breaks plodding up and down farm tracks or looking over the ocean as I practiced my physio moves. When I felt ready, I began going through paperwork, emails and files trying to find a way to present the files on the memory stick in a way that could not be ignored and address the many issues that have been plaguing me for years.

The more I read the less ashamed of my emotional instability over the past decade I felt. Instead of avoiding questions I began answering them honestly and openly, and I found that in Cornwall people DON’T think it’s ok to assault neighbours because they wanted to plant a tree or sit on a bench, it’s not ok to tell someone to hide they exist from all their neighbours and just be a quiet little mouse hiding away in their little hole.

They applauded my courage and fortitude, my positive mental attitude and determination. I managed their expectations and impression by admitting I hadn’t always been so accepting of my situation and behaved very poorly, but they reassured me it was understandable, most people would have lost it in SOME way. I began to believe them.

I attempted to address the dreaded Timeline again but after a few hours looking at the images I needed a week to rebalance mentally. I tried again and again, each time I’d feel my equilibrium slipping and stop, walk away, and concentrate on wellness before proceeding. The more I healed the easier it became to sit and go through everything. I asked friends for help, now I wasn’t living IN the grim conditions it was easier to address them.

I applied for a PO Box so I’d be able to receive mail and address my other issues, but Royal Mail set the PO Box up in Sandwell because the bungalow remains my permanent address, campsites are not places one can receive mail. I requested my PO Box be set up in Helston and explained why I need to receive mail here but it’s against policy so the PO Box was a no go.

There was still no word from SMBC on when work at the bungalow would commence but as it had now been six months, and I’m a veteran tenant of SMBC, I began to suspect things might not be straight forwar. No longer cared, I asked for permission to park the caravan on the driveway for two weeks so that I can access my property, list it for sale/donation and run auctions for a week with a strict collection policy, then clean everything up and terminate the tenancy, but this was refused.

I sought advice from those with appropriate expertise, housing, psychological, carers, law enforcement, medical, I asked them all the same question, what do you think? I accept I’m damaged, no one could go through this and not be affected, but am I delusional or was this wrong? They all told me to fight on and helped me to compile, type and unpick everything.

The pain I live with had such impact by Easter I asked my manager for a timeout from work, to find a more effective way to manage pain. My GP and physio were supportive I returned to work but reduced my hours to 4 days per week. Sitting still caused more pain, so I returned to the GP, after a few false starts I was accepted onto a trial and the new medication was effective.

I spent the summer trying to find legal help because every charity I approach says things are too complex, but things were too complex for solicitors as well, except for a personal injury firm who felt one fall, from December 5th 2022 was worth pursuing, SMBC are willing to settle ut I have to wait for a medical assessment the report, negotiations etc. I don’t understand why only that fall, but I don’t need to, they agreed to gather additional evidence directly from the hospitals rather than give me more life admin to tackle and I could not be more grateful for their support.

I received excellent advice and signposting from other people and slowly adapted files like pdf’s into images but how to present them was an issue, I’d tried emailing photos, pasting photos onto documents with explanations, zip files, OneDrive, a memory stick, talking, shouting, what else is there? My problem solving skills used to be legendary but communicating with this local authority was incredibly challenging for me.

The loss of 20% of my income did not pass unnoticed, campsite fees aren’t cheap during summer in Cornwall, I only planned to be here a short time originally, but I loved caravan life and want to buy the caravan, but I need to sell nearly everything else I own to do so, there is a weight limit in the caravan so I can only keep items I need, and frankly, I need the cold hard cash to put towards this or another caravan.

I applied to Universal Credit for help, uploaded a tenancy agreement for the caravan and screenshots of campsite payments but could not produce a tenancy agreement from camp site because I can’t sign one. At any time SMBC could decide to start work on the bungalow, I will need at least two weeks up there once I’m able to access the property and sell everything, and can’t afford any more housing costs. It seems pointless for SMBC to adapt the bungalow now, knowing I no longer wish to live in Sandwell, but if they want to throw money away, so be it.

Universal sent the financial support for housing costs to SMBC for the uninhabitable, un-adapted wheelchair accessible bungalow, I asked UC staff if I could please receive those payments to help towards my current housing expenses, and changed campsite with an online booking system and invoices so I’d have appropriate proof of what I was spending. This campsite cost significantly more but Universal Credit closed my claim and backdated the change to March because I failed to provide the required documentation.

I spent the next two months driving around after work selling things to raise extra money to cover rent and food, received help with both from charities and found myself physically unequal to the task, and cut beach time to 0 trying to keep up, my mood dropped until I was able to find a campsite without shower facilities which was more affordable. I’m not able to access the showers on most sites so this was perfect, a run upcountry to support my family then I moved the caravan to the new site, took a deep breath, then assured everyone I had been able to negotiate a rate fair to the campsite owner and myself and could sit tight now until SMBC respond.

Days later management announced they are considering redundancies, and my Team was in the firing line. Once this was confirmed I began applying for roles, but I’m effectively homeless, I have no legal rights and no way to receive mail. Trying to register for services is next to impossible and both my reputation and MH are openly questioned by people due to my recent history in Sandwell, applying for new jobs is incredibly challenging.

I remain under police investigation for my exciting afternoon last September, still have to address my debts and multiple other issues all on hold until housing situation is resolved. I’ve only been able to work on the timeline because I am on gardening leave but have been pushing through trying to finish it. R day is 30th November.

I’m asking for help to purchase the caravan and take that first step. I’ve looked at second hand models but many had damp or other issues I’m no longer capable of fixing myself or affording someone else to remedy, this caravan is already adapted and the logistics of moving all my possessions from one caravan to another are daunting. I’ve also been living here happily and healthily, completely independently for more than a year, I love this little space and the way it enables me, All the time, effort and money I poured into my last 2 homes was wasted, (three if you count Mehdi Court) and I really don’t want to lose this one.

Without the caravan payment each month this campsite and others like it are far more affordable, I wouldn’t need assistance from Universal Credit once I find a new role. My mother is a retired carer, as much as she’d love to gift the caravan to me, she simply can’t afford to, but she’s transferred all of the rent I’ve paid to the caravan payments and she’s happy for me to just cover the difference the current balance is £24,281 as of 04/11/2024 there is a screenshot of the balance on the timeline. Payments are £500pm but 3 were reduced to £250 when I reduced my hours at work because we hoped this would be temporary. I am trying to obtain a copy of the statement and interest rates.

I’ve emailed someone appropriate at Sandwell MBC, to ask them to review the timeline and if we can meet to discuss solutions. I am hopefully that the calmer, less emotionally damaged tone will encourage effective communication and a way to move forwards.

I accept that the extra challenges of the last year are my just desserts for breaking the law , and if WMP prosecute me I accept that my punishment may include time in prison, the caravan can be safely stored until I am able to return.

I appreciate the time you have taken to read this and hope to meet you on the beaches of Cornwall one day.

Warm wishes,

Marie