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Help Our Old Friend Bill Bufkins

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Update from Samra, September 16, 2018

 

First, I want to thank those of you who donated to the original GoFundMe. It’s been very helpful.  Things have changed quite a bit since then.

 

Bill passed away on Saturday, August 11, surrounded by some of our closest friends. It was a peaceful, beautiful passing. He was finally free from the prison of Alzheimer’s Disease. Here is his obituary.

 

Near the end of June I was able to put him into a nursing home. He had simply become too much to handle. His aggressionepisodes had become violent (including one in which I was shoved over a table onto my tailbone, which was fractured).  I had been working with a law firm that does emergency Medicaid applications, which this law firm specializes in.  He was admitted to the nursing home “Medicaid Pending.”  The application takes about 45 days to be approved.  It seemed things would be going well. I expected him to be in the nursing home at least until the end of the year, perhaps longer, he was doing so well.

 

Even though he perked up during the nearly 2 months he was there—he recognized me, told me he loved me, hugged me, and other sweet things Bill used to do—he took a sudden turn for the worse.  

 

Then he stopped eating.  

 

Our pastor administered the Last Rites of the Catholic Church on August 7, he went to the hospital the next day, and on the 9thentered hospice.  It happened so fast.  I thought since we’ve had 8 years to get ready I’ve be more prepared. I wasn’t. After all, I had lost my soulmate, my best friend, my lover, my husband of 36 years.

 

The funeral was lovely and I have a good base of support here in Denton, in Houston (where we lived for 18 years), and with my family in Florida. I’m adjusting. I’m also doing all those “things” one must do when their spouse dies.

 

One of those things is paying bills, along with deciphering insurance benefits, and dealing with mounds of paperwork from utilities, city, county, state and federal governments. One of those bills was from the nursing home, and it was nearly $10,000. There are also a couple thousand dollars worth of prescription drugs that Medicare inexplicable did not cover.

 

Apparently, the Medicaid application didn’t come through, so I have to pay these bills and God knows what else is coming down the pike.

 

I have no job, and right now no income, because Social Security needs proof of marriage before I can collect benefits from Bill. Note to everyone—be sure to get copies of your marriage certificate, NOW, because Social Security and some other agencies need that. I’ve been waiting nearly 4 weeks to get ours from Indianapolis. Our savings are shot. I’m going to be downsizing, but that takes time since I can’t afford to move right now. I will also be looking for a job but need to get some things squared away here soon.

 

So, as embarrassing as it is, I’m asking for help again. Norma and Brad were so gracious to send the previous GoFundMe to everyone, but now it’s really urgent. I’ve never asked for money before. I hope you understand, and I also hope none of you ever go through anything like this. I promise the money will be used to pay immediate expenses and hopefully help get me through until I’m earning again.

 

Alzheimer’s is such a horrible disease. It took the Bill you and I knew and loved away from us years ago.

 

Thank you for your consideration.

 

Norma Hill and Brad Mays know how to reach me directly. I’m hesitant to put my contact information here since this is (I hope) a public site. I’d love to hear from you, though. I’m so sorry I never met many of you, but Bill always talked fondly of his Princeton friends, and I feel like I know most of you. Feel free to share.

 

Sincerely, Samra Jones Bufkins.

 

FYI, Bill’s younger brother Jim is mentally and physically disabled and living in assisted living here in Denton. I’m legally responsible for his financial affairs, and believe me, he’s a handful.



 Original Post:

Meet Samra. She is Superwoman, but now she needs our help. Six years ago, Samra’s husband Bill was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease, and she has lovingly cared for Bill in their home, learning all she can about the disease and raising money for Alzheimer’s research. She has blogged extensively about their journey www.walkingthealzheimersabyss.com , providing an unvarnished and honest look into their lives as they deal with his inevitable decline. 

Many of us who knew Bill loved him for his quirky joie de vivre, always the life of the party. A true intellect, he was passionate about history and art and travel, spoke fluently in French and could wow you with a Chopin concerto on the baby grand. Professionally, Bill was a successful HR specialist for many well-known corporations across the US. Bill and Samra began their married life in Saudi Arabia where Bill was head of Human Resources for the King Faisal Specialist Hospital. It was quite an adventure. That’s how their life was. When Bill’s parents and brother were having heath issues they moved from Houston to North Texas to help. That’s the kind of people they are.

Then Alzheimer’s struck. For several years Bill was misdiagnosed with depression, ADD and BiPolar Disorder. He couldn’t hold onto a job. Often it seemed that a stranger had taken the place of the kind and loving man Samra had married in 1982. Then one day Bill got lost driving to pick her up, and they realized it was unfortunately something completely different. Bill’s Alzheimer diagnosis changed everything.

They began the journey into the Alzheimer abyss with their eyes wide open. Samra’s love for Bill and dedication to his care is boundless. It is heartbreaking that he no longer knows who she is. Yet, through thick and thin, she is there for him 24/7. They have no children who can help, and their siblings are either unable to help or live too far away. Samra lost her job in 2017, largely because of increasing caregiving demands.

 Alzheimer’s has taken a devastating toll on their finances. Bill is now Stage 6 and his condition has considerably worsened after a hospital stay for pneumonia in January.He has been hospitalized three times since then (as of June 13), once because he wandered and was found in a driveway far from home. Samra is no longer able to care for him safely in their home and must place him in a Memory Care facility or nursing home, which will cost $9,000 – $10,000 per month. What most of us don’t realize is long term Alzheimer’s Care is not covered by Medicare, and many of those affected end up in bankruptcy or homeless. How shameful that our country can’t do better for these families. 

 Some facts about Alzheimer’s Disease:

5.7 million Americans (380 thousand in Texas) have been diagnosed to date. By 2050 that is expected to grow to 14 million.

Alzheimer's Disease is the 6th leading cause of death in the US, and the only one of the top ten with no prevention, no treatment that slows progression and no cure.

One in 10 people over the age of 65 have Alzheimer's Disease

One in 3 seniors dies with Alzheimer's or other dementia.

Alzheimer's disease kills more people than breast cancer and prostate cancer combined.

Alzheimer's disease is the most costly disease in the US, costing $277 billion in 2018

16.1 million people provide an estimated 18.4 billion hours of unpaid care to patients with Alzheimer's. The value of that unpaid care is estimated to be $232 billion% of Walmart's net annual sales and nine times the total annual sales of McDonald's.

The total lifetime cost of care (including Medicare, Medicaid, out-of-pocket expenditures, and the value of unpaid care) for someone with dementia was estimated at $341,840 in 2017 dollars. 

The costs associated with family care are 70 percent of lifetime dementia care costs ($143,735 in the value of informal care, and $95,441 in out-of-pocket expenses related to care in 2017 dollars) 

Compared with caregivers of people without dementia, twice as many caregivers of those with dementia indicate substantial emotional, financial and physical difficulties.

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    • $50
    • 6 yrs
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Organizer and beneficiary

Norma Hill
Organizer
Doylestown, PA
Samra Jones Bufkins
Beneficiary

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