ANOTHER UPDATE:

This will be quick...I'm thinking I might just try to pay the debt to Larry's nursing facility he was in....I just kept having issues trying to find a bankruptcy attorney and finally I got pencil and paper out, and I decided I'm going to just try. If you can help me in any way, that would be fantastic.

I don't know if this will work, bc I don't know if they'll be willing to take my payments (probably won't be enough)...but I want to try. I hope my SS & Larrys small pension will be enough.

There's a lot of stuff that also could become problematic too, so I'm trying to do right by everyone and still try to keep my house, but that is NOT a given.

So I have a couple other big things I'm working on, and if I survive all that I'll try to relax and breathe for the first time in over a year.

Please. Keep me in your thoughts.

And if you can help, I will be grateful for you for eternity.

If you've already given, I'm so grateful to you already....you are angels.

I hate having to ask. Believe me, it's really embarrassing. But most all of us are a couple paychecks away from disaster...like what happened to Larry.

We were retired, kicking back, taking it easy....and BOOM.

WE went from fairly comfortable financially, nothing fancy but we had enough, to $90,000 in the hole, including the ill timed $35k note we owed the bank. And my soulmate lost something more valuable than anything. His life.

So now he's gone and I'm still stunned that he's gone, but everyone is standing around, snapping their fingers with their hands out, waiting to be paid, and I'm like...well I don't have 90 grand, sorry.

But I'm trying to work with the bank and if I can get a good rate for refinancing that HELOC soon, then maybe I'll have a chance to start a 20 year journey to pay it all off. I'll be 89 by that time comes.

I'm just trying to do the right thing. .

I learned that kind of thing, the RIGHT thing, from my Larry. He was that kind of guy.

~ August 25, 2024

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June 2024

Update.....

It's been awhile so I thought I'd bring you up to date on what's been happening with me.

Actually it's been 5 months, 9 days and 6.5 hours since the light of my life left this earth.

To be honest, I haven't been able to grieve properly because of all the issues that have arisen since my Larry passed away.

You are not going to believe this. And if I weren't living it, I wouldn't either. But....its true.

So my boxful of tax stuff from LAST YEAR is still sitting in a corner of my dining room floor because I haven't had time to work on it because....

My home equity line of credit is due this fall ($35,000) which I obviously don't have.....AND....

the nursing facility dropped a little bomb in my lap by telling me, oops, Medicaid denied you, so now you owe another $49,000!!!! Yes. $49K.

So I have picked out a bankruptcy attorney that I'm trying to schedule a time with to discuss that option, as much as I hate to.....but unfortunately unless I win the lottery, I have just gone from the lower end of fairly-semi comfortable financially (with an excellent credit score), and happily married to the love of my life.... to widowed, almost broke and possibly soon-to-be homeless in less than a year.

And there is so much more annoying little stuff along the way, like paperwork, forms, phone calls, things to remember written on scraps of paper that end up lost under other pieces of paper, stacks and stacks of paper....also so much confusing stuff I don't understand....

Then there's the fear, the pressure, time constraints, ie: yes, I got an extension on last year's taxes but only til October and I hope I can get it done by then!

And somehow, between all the chaos....something will trigger a memory.

And in the midst of my intense, incredible overwhelm....I think of my Larry...and I begin to cry...and then I sob and wail, and scream his name because I miss him so much. I become paralyzed with grief and pain and all this stuff that is so complicated and hitting me all at once...I feel like I'm in that movie that George Clooney was in, The Perfect Storm, remember? He was a captain of a fishing boat and he and his crew found themselves in a terrible storm, and they fought and fought, but the storm proved to be too much for their little fishing boat in that convergence of chaotic weather and an angry sea....and they ended up going down with their boat, and they lost the fight.

I feel that way often. Truthfully, I feel that way every day. Without my Larry, I've lost my compass. Without my compass I feel like I'm lost in a terrible storm in an angry sea that is much more powerful than me, a woman in a wheelchair, trying to save her house, her meager savings that has already been cut in half, and her sanity. And.... her life.

My health has taken a big hit too, now that I'm alone 95% of the time and have had to do most everything....have you ever tried to vacuum or mop a floor in a wheelchair? Fun times. If you read the previous stuff I wrote, you'll recall I have a lot of health problems. Chronic pain from several different issues ALSO makes for a "perfect storm" scenario especially if I'm stressed (I'm ALWAYS stressed these days). My hair is falling out, my arthritis is worsening, my vision is worsening, my diabetes is out of control right now and I'm so depressed I often wonder why I am even here at all.

So basically that's it for now. I'm trying to keep my head above water but my "boat" is taking on water and the storm is getting so bad that I wonder if I'm going to make it. But then I see my friends from social media donate and tdonate again, and it just makes me feel so much love....my heart gets warm and tears come to my eyes and stream down my face....and I know that I am loved.

I might just make it with your help.

Please help if you can. The money raised will go to pay the bills from Larry's treatment and nursing care.

I will always be grateful for the sacrifice and generosity of friends and strangers alike.

Thank you so much for reading our story, and for giving whatever you can. If you've already given, You are an Angel. Thank you.

Continue reading if you'd like to follow all the way to the beginning.

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Hello, my name is Julie and I never expected to be doing this.

Very early last spring, my wonderful husband was diagnosed with cancer.

My Larry fought bravely for 8 months but then..... he got Covid late fall of 2023, which developed into pneumonia, which ended up proving too much for his cancer-ridden body to fight. They could not do his treatments when he was so sick with covid pneumonia...and the aggressive cancer saw its opportunity, and took my husband from this earth on January 12, 2024.

I remain here, feeling gutted. I'm lost without him here.

We were together 41 years. I was 28 when we first got together. I'll be 69 later this year. He would have been 73.

We had no children. He has one brother, who was only rarely in contact, and lived far away. I have one sister, who has been such a support to me. But she is only able to come help me once a week.

I'm in a wheelchair and disabled, so I rarely get out of the house. I'm completely alone 95% of the time.

I'm lonely, depressed and now wondering what I have to live for. I have severe chronic pain every day and every night. Larry was my caregiver for years and years. He was always kind, loving, patient and understanding. He made the best grilled cheese sandwiches. Everything he did for me, he did with love.

Now he is gone. I cry every day. The pain of losing him is visceral. I'm trying to keep myself going, but I struggle to understand why.

The bills are rolling in, and the debt is scaring me. Insurance is wonderful but when faced with a catastrophic disease like cancer, insurance doesn't take care of it all. Thousands of dollars in medical bills are what I'm faced with. We had a meager savings at best, and by the time all this is resolved, it'll be a memory.

I guess I'm just asking for help, because I don't know what else to do. In Larry's memory. He was a kind & loving man. And I know he would do it for anyone else...in a heartbeat.

Thank you,

Julie

(My past updates are below...I left them in case you wanted to read about what he went through.)

*****LARRY'S LAST UPDATE*****

1-12-2024

The doctors had ordered for Larry an astronomically expensive medication that he needed in order to beat the fast-growing cancer

*that actually did end up destroying his scapula (shoulder), and ultimately the very advanced and aggressive cancer, we believe went to his brain and finally killed him January 12, 2024 at approximately 6:30am. Leaving behind his devastated soulmate of 41 years, Julie Nichols.

****UPDATE****

1-5-2024

~ A Miracle Just Happened ~

The cancer doctor office’s financial advocate department called to let me know that they were notified that the manufacturer of the drug REVLIMID has approved us to receive the drug at no cost! This is a huge burden off of our shoulders. I sobbed after they told me. I still can’t believe it. I never expected that we would ever catch a break. It’s a miracle, thanks to God, and to all our friends & family who have been praying and sending good energy. Wow… I still am just stunned. We’ve mostly gotten bad news on this journey, so this good news is really incredible.

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Now, here’s how things stand right now. We owe as of today: $1322 to the doc’s office/treatment facility, $2600+ to two pathology groups, $6733 to the nursing facility where he stays, along with one hospital bill which is $365…and there is much more coming, I’m sure I’m forgetting something. I'm sure there will be "final bills" coming.

A week ago I had to pay the facility he was in, $6700 (half of what we owe at this point) in one lump sum or they said they would do an “involuntary eviction” (kick him out). That was a huge gut-punch for us. That was about one third of our savings. Gone

There are all those, and many other bills are yet to come, I am trying not to panic. I’very been a nervous wreck on high alert for almost a solid year. It’s hard to have to think about these debts looming over me now, plus the normal stuff.

I feel like I’ve aged 25 years in the past 8-9 months. I myself am disabled with rheumatoid arthritis, gout, severe neuropathy, along with several other medical issues, and I am in a wheelchair. I'm in severe chronic pain about 90% of the time.

Larry was my caregiver for many years…and he knew my issues well, so he understood without question that I would have been physically present and there for him more than i was actually physically ABLE to be. We have no children, friends or family to assist, except for my only sister, (who comes when she can).

Larry & I were together for 41 years. We met through mutual friends, and I was immediately smitten by his tall stature (6’4”), his full beard…and as time went by, I fell in love with him and his quiet strength. Even though he didn’t like the phrase, “Gentle Giant”, that’s what he was.

I also admired his work ethic and how seriously he took his job. He was a long haul truck driver for all of his adult life. He worked so hard. He has only been retired for a few years.

He has been the most amazing husband. He was the kindest, most thoughtful, most giving human being I’ve ever encountered in my 68 years on this earth. He would have done anything for anyone. He didn’t deserve this.

I'm so empty. The worst has now happened.

I lost my Larry.

I can’t think of what else to say. Just please help me if you can. I know things are tough out there. Please have mercy. I am struggling with so much debt AND dealing with feeling just gutted by losing my soulmate. I am asking for your help. Any amount will be so appreciated, and I will never forget your kindness. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and for giving.