Please Help Me Survive These Trying Times

When my husband of 25 years died in September 2021 of Covid he caught after a horrific nearly 4-month ordeal of being passed around from hospitals to nursing homes I was left with nothing. Jeff entered the hospital with cellulitis, by the time they were through with him he had been infected with sepsis, pneumonia, and finally the Covid that killed him after our pleas to vaccinate him were denied repeatedly. Even though I had spent nearly 10 years as his full-time caretaker, I wasn’t entitled to any survivors benefits from Social Security because I was deemed too young. I was immediately catapulted into a transient life, going wherever I could be taken in.

Fortunately, I was able to secure remote work, most notably as the campaign manager for Matthew Hoh’s U.S. Senate campaign in North Carolina. It was the hardest but the most satisfying work I had ever done. I’m proud of that work and what we were able to accomplish. After so many years of crippling insecurity that comes from things like living in poverty and watching the love of my life slowly die, I realized that I had skills and talent beyond what I had previously understood about myself. It was the first time since Jeff had died that I felt optimistic about my future.

But after the campaign ended, my life hit a rough turn. I had been living in Georgia with family, but due to another family member needing shelter having suffered a medical emergency, I had to leave abruptly. A woman I considered a friend encouraged me to stay with her and her family in North Carolina in exchange for help in the home and with her children. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I had been duped into being her indentured servant. I came to a situation where they lived in filth and squalor. They didn’t have functional plumbing, which left me needing to use a toilet that was always filled with old sewage and I didn't have access to a working shower. I was told days before moving there that I wouldn’t have a bed and so I purchased an air mattress that did terrible damage to my back. I wasn’t allowed to eat their food but had no place in their (rancid) refrigerator to store my own food, so I lived almost entirely off of peanut butter sandwiches. When I balked at the demand to be a full-time housekeeper/nanny for no pay and in exchange for such an unhealthy and degrading living situation she demanded I leave, giving me very little time to find a roof over my head. I would hear from other vulnerable friends that they too had been tricked into situations like this one, which made me feel less foolish but no less traumatized that this is becoming the new normal for people like us.

I had recently made friends with someone who had an extra room and would rent it to me at a reasonable price and I was grateful to dodge homelessness. I have struggled to be able to pay the rent she’s asking for and I also struggle to afford food. My roommate has been very generous and patient with me but she's also struggling to survive, I want to be able to meet my obligations to her and not take advantage of her kindness. I’ve recently found a menial job that’s taking a tremendous physical toll on me, and although I’m okay with any work, as things stand, this job isn’t paying me enough to even scrape by and I have my doubts about how long I can physically hold up in it.

My laptop computer is breaking down and can only be used in short intervals, this hinders my ability to find remote work, which is better for someone with my serious physical limitations and lack of affordable transportation. I want to expand my creative consulting business, working closely with aspiring writers to help them tap into their true potential and give voice to their stories. This is also something that I need a functional computer to be able to pursue.

Last week I was diagnosed with COPD when I went to the ER struggling to breathe. I’m a diabetic who hasn’t been medicated for quite some time because of my lack of health insurance. I have been diagnosed in the past with the early stages of kidney failure. I have infected teeth that I treat with home remedies because I can’t afford to go to the dentist.

Your donation will go towards helping me pay my rent, fix my laptop computer (if that's possible, if not it will help me buy a new one), buy necessities like food, and help me with the ability to get some basic medical care while I wait for the recent Medicaid expansion in North Carolina to take effect (right now I'm still not even able to apply.) This is the amount I need to raise to get me out of this scary and desperate situation as I find a way to move forward.

I never felt ashamed to fundraise for Matt’s campaign or any other important cause that I’ve worked for, mostly as a volunteer, for over 30 years in progressive politics where I’ve tried in my small way to make this world a better place. This isn’t my first Go Fund Me, I had one organized by dear friends after Jeff’s passing, but before that, I had organized my own a few times over the years because I didn’t worry about foolish pride when it came to fighting for my beloved husband’s life. Now I must find the courage to fight for my own life. And I also ask, if you can open the door to the kind of work that a person with my skills and passion for justice would give my most to, please reach out to me as that would help tremendously, I want to be productive.

Please help me get through this crisis and get back on my feet. Thank you so much for anything you can do.