Hello. My name is Tia, I’m a mum to three small children, aged 8,6 and 4,and we are currently living with my parents in the south of the U.K.

I am fundraising to pay for dental treatment that will hopefully help to restore full use of my teeth, and reduce the need for regular emergency appointments.

I am 35, and have suffered with complex physical and mental health issues since I was 9 years old. During my teenage years I suffered undiagnosed abdominal pain, that led to food restriction, and struggled with an eating disorder that led to my teeth rotting due to severe erosion.

Aged 21 I was told I’d be lucky to have any teeth by the age of 30.

I have been extremely blessed to have my 3 children amongst losses, but the decades of health issues and dental erosion and pain combined with pregnancies and birth has left me with multiple prolapses, and since I lost my job during pregnancy, I have found it really difficult to find any work that is sustainable and possible for me to maintain whilst caring for my children, extended family, and my own needs.

My husband, the father of our children, struggles to make enough money, despite working extremely long hours, as his extended family are living in poverty, and we cannot currently afford to live together as a family, let alone find funds to pay for private dentistry.

Living with such extreme dental erosion, on top of physical incapacity and existing mental health disabilities means my quality of life is hugely impacted.

I am unable to eat properly, I have constant ear infections, and intense discomfort, requiring pain relief, and long term TMJ (temporomandibular joint) disorder (jaw pain) which means I live with headaches, eye pain, chronic sinusitis like symptoms, and a sore throat. My glands are raised permanently, and I always feel unwell.

Because of this, my digestion is affected, I cannot chew, so food is less digested, meaning nutrients are not absorbed, and I suffer from vitamin deficiencies that mean I’m exhausted, making my symptoms and oral health worse.

Alongside this. I regularly have nausea, bloating, and problems with elimination due to challenges with digestion, and not being able to consume foods that are too hard, sticky, cold, sour, chewy, or crunchy. This has a negative affect on prolapse due to constipation from digestive issues.

It is incredibly upsetting how routine activities can be affected so much; just breathing cold air can set off intense pain, and being able to enjoy anything without worrying about my teeth feels impossible. Last week, just chewing a vitamin supplement, I found a piece of tooth in my mouth.

This has led to an increase in severe depression and anxiety at times, as in combination with underlying historic challenges around my health, being a full time parent, suffering a traumatic miscarriage, caring for my mum throughout her cancer journey, loss of work, and not having any means of financial independence or security, I feel unable to meet even my basic needs for quality of life.

There is a huge stigma in society around poor teeth, with many assuming it is due to poor care, bad eating habits, and excess sugar. Quite the contrary, I have always maintained excellent care, and the damage is entirely due to the effects of a well known and acknowledged medical problem.

Over the years I have tried to maintain my teeth with extremely good dental hygiene practices, and I have been lucky to preserve what little I have left.

However, aging has led to the inevitable decline of my teeth, and they are now in a state of disrepair that will soon be too late to even attempt to rectify. I have gum disease due to erosion, my cheeks are ulcerated due to the sharp edges and holes, and where I try to chew, and my jaw is in increasing pain as my bite has changed and there is little tooth structure to hold my mouth open in the same way.

I rarely smile with my teeth, and am very self conscious, causing a lot of social anxiety around expectations of photos, and group activity that will involve proximity to my teeth due to fears of halitosis and embarrassment. It has a huge effect on intimate relationships for the same reason.

Though toothpastes are becoming available, suggesting studies are being done regarding erosion, this is early days and they are expensive, and there is currently no known treatment for loss of enamel other than costly and extensive work.

I am not writing this for sympathy; I have spent much of my life raising awareness of those who have less, actively campaigning for social justice, minority groups being supported, mental health to be prioritised, and the rights of the most disadvantaged to be held with higher regard, and I know my case is not unique in it’s challenge.

I know my discomfort might appear just a side effect of poor choices in life, and that for many, functional, ‘good’, teeth might seem a merely aesthetic privilege, of little importance in comparison to other concerns.

However, I hope that I have adequately conveyed how extensively dental health affects my daily life and quality of living.

I have realised with a lot of sadness and grief that if I don’t look after my self now, and in particular my teeth, I may face the real prospect of having none by the age of 40. For just a few years of devastating mental and physical illness as a teenager, I potentially face a lifetime of chronic pain and systemic disease if left untreated.

As we all know, costs of living have increased exponentially higher than many of us can afford, and obviously food and housing has to come first. My children already have a mother who cannot run with them, and it feels so sad that I am constantly having to tell them I am also in pain with my teeth. I am sure they are aware of this and find it challenging.

Truly I understand this is a huge request, and do not want anyone to feel they must help me. I feel hugely uncomfortable asking for money like this, so please do not if you are absolutely not able to. I know that if you could you would.

If there is anyone who can help, it will be so greatly appreciated by me, but also by those close to me in my family who have known and experienced third hand how much this affects me.

The funds will be entirely used to put towards treatment, for restoration, extraction, filling, and any root canal. I am extremely careful and conscious of making informed decisions, talking through a plan, and seeking out practices where I hope the treatment will offer long term solutions rather than the current ongoing minor fixes I have been doing over the past two decades.

This will ensure that money will be used appropriately and considerately, with longevity and optimal value being prioritised rather than any short term or aesthetic fix.

No money will be used for teeth whitening, which I cannot have due to sensitivity, or general cosmetic procedures that are not necessary.

Rest assured I have no desire to do anything more than restore my ability to enjoy my life without tooth pain and problems eating.

Although the target may seem high, unfortunately because it it not just one or two teeth, but rather every single tooth, exactly 28, and the actual cost is likely to be closer to £30000 in the U.K. (I have a quote of £29k already, at a firm and I’m happy to share details. I also have an informal quote of £15k if I can pay upfront). 

I am not able to travel abroad for treatment due to insurance in the U.K. and any risk of needing follow up treatments. The logistics of multiple flights, accommodation, long treatments, and outsourcing childcare support and home commitments will be difficult, and if anything goes wrong, it will be additional issues to solve, not covered by U.K. NHS dentistry. 

It is my humble request that if you can help even just a little, I will be truly grateful, and if you cannot, then please do not feel any guilt or worry, as I know how hard it is these days. 

Though I feel tremendous discomfort asking for money, I also feel that it is important to lay bare the catastrophic effects of mental health on our physical bodies, and aim to use my experience to work with and support others who are going through disordered eating, or struggling with the long term effects on their health.

Currently the nhs cannot offer the level of work needed, so although I wish it wasn’t the case, I will be forced to use private services for a large proportion of the ongoing treatment.

I extend my gratitude to anyone who might donate, share, or support this fundraiser, and pray that anyone else who feels affected by similar concerns is able to seek support, and treatment. Please do not suffer alone and in silence.

To those who have donated already, my most humble and heartfelt gratitude extends, and I pray that your generosity and kindness will be multiplied and returned to you and your family somehow. 

Best wishes, and thank you again.

Tia