Please help me (us) not be homeless (aka The Jimmy Fund)

I've made GoFundMe campaigns before but never thought in a million years I'd make one of these for myself, but here we are.

Things are really bad...

This last year has been the hardest for me so far in every capacity. For reference, I've struggled a long time with severe depression and panic disorder (who hasn't?) with some health anxiety thrown in and (T/W) a suicide attempt that I've been institutionalized for years ago.

But I've always been "functional." I've always shown up and been hustling and a hard worker and prided myself on doing everything myself for better and for worse.

Then it all came crashing down.

I had a major health scare with my heart (runs in the family) that left me with severe medical PTSD to this day.

After I watched my estranged father die in hospice a few years back, I tried to patch things up with my mother and have a relationship with her after she abandoned me as a child 26 years ago, severely messing me up. A year later, she decides to up and leave me again.

SAME. DAY. My oh so loving and thoughtful and loyal girlfriend of 2 years dumps me.

Shortly after, someone I called my best friend and who I was there for FOR SO MANY BREAKDOWNS AND TRAGEDIES decides to ghost me.

I was then fired from my very stressful job. And rehired. And fired again. Gotta love "at will employment".

Afterwards, my new apartment I *just* moved into a month ago before this, we get evicted because they decided to not renew the lease so they can jack the rent for richer folk.

Finally if it couldn't get worse, I had a *bad* reaction to some anti-depressants I was on. Couldn't sleep for 3 days. Constant state of mania and panic. Another heart episode.

Oh and I was turning 40.

It was all too much for me. I snapped. I broke. I shattered. Breakdown. Midlife existential crisis. Whatever you wanna call it. Got jumped from behind with agoraphobia and had panic attacks whenever I'd leave the house, in the house, and even in my sleep. That especially stings since I've always lived by my fierce independence. And now I'm a mentally paralyzed shut-in who cries daily.

I couldn't take it anymore and was put inpatient at Tisch Hospital psych ward for two weeks. Twice. To take a break and get better meds (which I'm afraid aren't exactly pulling their weight.)

But the costs have been dire.

After my pittance of unemployment ran out, my precious savings, a decade of sweat and toil and late nights of the hardest work in this city, are now gone just trying to keep a roof over my head. I haven't been broke since I was 19 and living in my car. I feel like such a failure.

In my struggle and rehabilitation, my one silver lining has been my dear, dear friend Sara Mendenhall who stuck by my side the whole time. She let me stay with her for a month while I tried to get my bearings, assisted my therapy, accompanied me to the doctors and hospitals, and helped me find a new place. But like me, she was also let go from her job around the same time I was, and is also down to her last two nickels. Also, HER now ex-boyfriend cheated on her! Twice! This along with being unable to find work for the last several months has been hell for her as well. And yet, she still shows up for me.

I'm not only pleading on my behalf, but for her as well, who along with her roommate David and her goofy kittens Mars and Gabriel, have literally kept me alive. She continues to be a constant source of support, and I want to help her as she's helped me.

We're frantically looking for jobs (remote for me because of the agoraphobia, which through therapy and exposure I am getting better at and can at least walk around the block) every single day, but it's mostly ghost jobs and scams. I'm sure as many as you know it's HARD right now trying to find an honest living.

I've applied for disability and food stamps. I have online therapy pro bono. I'm doing everything I can with the help and grace of a few precious friends. But it's so, so hard. Aside from the health woes and panic attacks and crushing depression, I'm going to become homeless in a month if I don't land a steady paycheck.

So, here I am literally on my digital knees begging to anyone who will listen, anything they can spare so I and Sara can still keep our homes and some food in the fridge. I figure this should last us until December when we can reapply for unemployment, or miraculously find jobs, whatever comes first.

I swear any donation no matter how "small" will go miles in my heart. If you consider me a friend, if I've ever helped you out, if I've ever listened to your problems or made you laugh, even if we're acquaintances and you have the slightest shred of pity, I'm begging for your help in return right now.

Thank you so, so much for reading ♥️

(Shoutout to Sara for being there for me through the tears, the doctors, the attacks, the thick and the thin, along with Cherry David, Ann Marie Antonucci, Jen Kossin, Christine Arancia, Misty Lee Crowe, Greg Zweiben, Krystal Pires-Patch, and Denise Bautista. I love you guys so much, thank you for keeping me here thus far ♥️)