Hi! My name is Joseph, I’m 22, and I (as well as my friends and other loved ones) believe I am autistic. I have spent the last two years unpacking my childhood trauma with a skilled therapist, and during this time I have realised just how heavily I mask my autism in most situations. The reality is that being autistic means that I am unable to work the majority of jobs without severely damaging my physical and emotional well-being, and repeatedly ignoring my needs in the past (due to not understanding what makes my brain so different to a neurotypical person’s brain) has caused me to become chronically ill, further disabling me.

I struggle socially, and I simply do not cope well with pressure from any source, internal or external. I rely heavily on having a slow, predictable rhythm and routine in my daily life in order to feel safe, grounded, and regulated; there are many strong indicators that I am on the autistic spectrum, all of which went totally missed during my childhood due to my academic performance being high and my caregivers also not understanding their own support / access needs as neurodivergent people.

The good news is that I can now avoid the situations that cause me to feel stressed, uncomfortable, or otherwise make me feel unsupported or unseen. When I throw myself into these situations anyway, such as large unplanned social gatherings, certain environments such as busy cafes or bars (I hate bars), and the vast majority of workplace environments, my body shuts down as a result of the emotional distress I experience, and I require many days of social isolation to recover. Failing to meet my needs in this way causes a flareup of my CFS, which could last for weeks or months, severely impacting my physical and mental health every time.

Not having the certainty of a clinical diagnosis is affecting my mental well-being, and although I am gradually getting better at meeting my access / support needs, I need to know for sure.

Not having a diagnosis also means that my financial situation and overall mental health are more precarious - while I am currently in receipt of benefits for my ME/CFS, the reality is that I need the diagnosis to further explain and demonstrate my health needs at my next assessment to remain eligible for these benefits, as I now understand it to be autism (and presumably ADHD) disabling me the most. I am also totally reliant upon my therapist in order to remain reasonably mentally stable and emotionally regulated, which I pay for using my benefits.

The current wait times for autism diagnosis on the NHS are about two years, and while I could also go through the “right to choose” pathway, that would still only reduce that waiting period by about half. My next assessment for PIP (benefits that pay for things that are essential for supporting my disabilities) will be well before then, and I am tired of waiting around, totally in the dark. For these reasons, I would like to go for my assessment privately.

There are a few providers in and around Manchester (where I live) through which I could get my diagnosis within two months, and it would cost me about £1600. I cannot comfortably afford to pay for this; it would cost me the majority of my emergency

savings, so I am asking for help here to make it possible.

Any donation would mean the world to me; you would be directly contributing to improving my mental health and granting me greater financial security in the broader picture of my life. If you cannot afford to contribute, do not worry about it - please consider sharing this fundraiser with others in your life who possibly can. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you for donating, if you can

Update! Have lowered the goal due to being sent some money from family members outside of the gofundme. Thanks!!!

Joseph xx