My name is Michelle.

I live with complex PTSD that came out after my time working within the emergency medical field.

I have been partnered with my service K-9 trained in PTSD, Bennie for 5 years now. Unfortunately Bennie has been out of service for 4 months now due to medical issues and will be retiring from daily service due to medical in the very near future.

Retirement is GREAT!! Bennie will be able to relax a bit and stay here with us at home enjoying his retirement years.

As great as retirement will be for Bennie these last 4 months without him in public have been very rough on my family and I.

My hyper vigilance, anxiety, night terrors, seizures, and hermit tendencies, to name a few things, have come back with a vengeance.

An example: My trips to the grocery store now include watching everyone, cramming myself as close to a shelf as I can get with the grocery cart at my front and the shelf at my back to let someone pass. Jumping at sounds that most people don't even tune into. Becoming over stimulated by the amount of movement and noise going on around me. By the time I get to the check out I Have forgotten or given up on most of my list because I just need out. At check out I am constantly watching my back as its more likely that I will react and not respond in the normal manner to someone coming up behind me. I smash my stuff in bags and pay as quick as I can then speed walk to the truck where I will have to sit, sometimes for 20 minutes, to calm my body back down enough to drive home.

With Bennie I was able to manage these trips. He would alert me to movement behind me so I could respond not react and not get startled. If I became overwhelmed Bennie would stop and not move so I had to sit down with him and he would apply deep pressure on my legs so my body could relax. He walked on my left side with shelving on my right giving me the space I needed from other people. At the checkout Bennie would make a barrier behind me ( cover my 6) for the same reasons. and once back to the truck he would sit with me and give comfort if needed. This boy even alerted me while driving if I started to disassociate. The safety and comfort he brought me in everyday life is priceless.

I am hoping with partnering again I will be able to get back on track with day to day living. Back to being more present in daily life. Back to helping educate on PTSD and Service K-9's and especially back to having tons of fun with my kiddos.

If you can please help me with this task of fundraising to offset the cost of a new partner ($25000) I would truly appreciate it. And if you can't that's OK too! I appreciate you taking the time to read this and hopefully share!