Main fundraiser photo

Please help me escape my abusive boyfriend

Donation protected

I am afraid and ashamed to admit this but I am trapped in an abusive relationship and I desperately need help to get out. I'm in my young 20s, and my boyfriend's in his 30s, we've been together for around 2 years and over that time before I could realize it I've lost all the support and safety nets I had. It was never a healthy relationship, but when he moved in around 8 months ago it got incredibly worse. I didn't want him to move in in the first place, but at the time I was starting college and had no family support financially (They're not exactly well off, they live in different provinces, and everyone's pretty distant from each other), and he promised to help me with bills and food and the like, and that once we lived together he'd be less angry and distressed all the time. I knew there were red flags but I didn't see any other options at the time. 

I'm not exactly sure how much information I should put here.  I'm very concerned about him or someone he knows finding this and figuring out it's me. On top of that I feel embarrassed to be begging but I know pride can't really come into this type of equation. To explain why I'm asking for so much money; since he's moved in with me he has lied multiple times, and there've been months when he wasn't working at all and all of a sudden I had to pay the whole rent (i had always split it half & half with my old roommate) and all other expenses, which I had never agreed to before hand and was part of why I had thought he was moving in to begin with.  I was on OSAP at the time so to avoid eviction and losing the longstanding (3 yrs) good relationship I had with my landlord I used the money from loans and from my credit card to foot the costs, with promises from him that he'd pay me back when he got a job again (which he always said would be very high paying due to his skillset).

Of course once he got a job he never paid me back, and I'm met with extreme verbal abuse, yelling, and physical aggression if I bring it up. He's also stolen my credit card and used it multiple times without telling or asking me, having sent me over my limit and with no way to pay it back. Throughout this year I've worked at the college, but the hours and pay has been so minimal that I can only cover immediate costs like food, transport, and pet food/medicine, or he'll manipulate me to spend any money I have on whatever he wants if he knows I have any. I know it seems like I could just say no but it's difficult to explain the situation. 

On that note I'm sure who ever's reading this has many questions, and without my face or other identification some might fear that I'm lying/making it up/ trying to scam. If you have questions or want proof please message me privately, I can video with you so I know you're not someone related to him, and so you know I am who I say I am and for me to answer questions and prove my situation. 

My situation is an emergency; there are times when he is physically aggressive and will do things like coerce me if I say no, constantly yell at me and call me horrible names, he's done illegal drugs in my home (I grew up in an abusive addict's home so I've always had a very clear no drug policy, which he's lied to me about multiple times), all also leading me into an even deeper depression than I already struggled with.  I have no savings left, my credit card is maxed out, no loans left, and am facing potentially having to move to a new city with him as he's got a new job there and I have no way of paying off my debts nor to stay and pay rent and cover necessary costs. My family is very small and I grew up poor so no one is capable of helping me financially, nor does anyone live anywhere near me. Most of the friends I have I've been alienated from and the few I still have are also young and living paycheck to paycheck, in studio apartments, etc. 

I find myself shocked, ashamed, and heartbroken that I've somehow found myself in this type of situation. Because of the drug and alcohol environment I grew up in I had always worked hard to escape from these unsafe situations, been careful with my money, and only wanted to do good.  I dream of working with nature, flora, and fauna, and helping those in need when I have enough resources to do so. Please, if you're capable, I need as much help as I can get. I need to escape this and heal and be given the tools to take care of myself. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this, consider me, and if you choose, help me. I'm putting out as much positive energy as I can with this post in hopes it returns. Thank you.

Organizer

Siobhan Essi
Organizer
North York , ON

Your easy, powerful, and trusted home for help

  • Easy

    Donate quickly and easily

  • Powerful

    Send help right to the people and causes you care about

  • Trusted

    Your donation is protected by the GoFundMe Giving Guarantee