tldr quick summary
hi im 20 and I’ve been stuck in a severely neglected unsafe home for years. I haven’t left the house in over 5 years. My hair is completely matted together . I can’t shower walk far or look after myself at all at this point im so weak and run down both physically and mentally. I’m asking for help so I can get out, even if its just temporarily to start healing and rebuilding my life.
Your donation will help me afford a clean safe place to stay, a hairdresser to brush my matted hair, clean clothes, food & supplements, medical and mental health care, hygiene essentials and basic needs, transport to access help and appointments.
longer story
I went through a lot of abuse and unsafety as a kid and it left me housebound with depression, agoraphobia and physical weakness from what feels like long term malnutrion as a teen, and now that im my 20s I'm so scared this is the gonna be the rest of my life unless I can escape for a chance of change.
I don't know what it's like to live. I missed school friendships experiences everything because of severe untreated mental illness and physical decline. I’m dizzy and exhausted constantly. I can’t stand for more than a few minutes and i haven’t been able to clean myself properly in years.
my hair is completed matted from lying around depressed and its too far gone for me to be able to brush it all myself. I didn't even realise it was getting matted until it was too late because I never got up or looked in the mirror for years :/ it was difficult to take pictures by myself to show just how bad the matting is. When it first matted years ago it was tight against my scalp and the big knot in the pic at the end of my hair was actually on top of my head and as the years have gone by it has grown down and so has the hair that was tight against my hair so now its like i have a scalp cast of knotted hair about 5 inches down from my scalp along with the big ball just all heavy tweaking and pulling down making my scalp bleed it hurts so bad when i try brush it i just end up giving up and crying everytime so id like if i can hire a team of professionals to just help me get it over with i cant do it myself. I'm so sad I feel so ugly and unfeminine without my long hair and I'd really like to feel pretty for the first time in years I think it could really be the start of hope for me if I could just get my hair back
I live in a hoarded, moldy home with no support or privacy or cleanliness, and with other mentally unwell family members who put me down for my struggles but get jealous and nasty when i have made progress in the past. im ridiculed no matter what i do and its made me give up. I’ve begged doctors and my GP for help, but I’m always dismissed i feel invisible. My mother refuses to let outside help in the house and says I’m being dramatic and laughs at me. I’ve tried so hard to get better on my own but without a clean space, routine or support I can’t. I don't even feel like I'm surviving nevermind living.
I’ve never felt like I had anyone on my side. This wasn't previously in my gofundme as I felt like there wasn't a point in mentioning it but I feel like it might help paint a fuller story as to why I feel so alone.
A couple of years ago, one of my brothers physically assaulted me. he slammed me against the fridge and shouted insults pushing me again and again. He used to grab my throat and slap me ten act like it was a joke and call me dramatic when I said it hurt for a week straight and that it scared me.
It hasn’t happened recently but it’s part of why I live in fear and why I can’t heal here i feel like i walk on eggshells around each family member for different reasons. My dad has antisocial personality disorder and now my other brother is growing into the same cruel controlling behaviour. I’ve been verbally abused and humiliated for years, and my mother always dismisses it saying she “wasn’t there when it happened to she cant have an opinion” or that “they’re going through things too youre always picking on your brothers”
no one stands up for me no one protects me. I’m completely alone in this house and it's so hard to be motivated to try when I'm around people who make me feel like shit just for existing
I've thought for a while that i might have adhd, autism and ocd, or some mix of all three, and then I posted on Reddit asking for help not even mentioning any of these and yet a lot of people reached out asking me if I've ever gotten tested for being neurodivergent. honestly it would explain so much of why i've always struggled with everyday things and why i shut down so easily. antidepressants haven't helped at all, and i'm starting to realise it might be because they're not the right treatment for what i actually have. but i can't get assessed for any of those unless i somehow get out of this house see a psychiatrist, and go through long waiting lists or pay for private appointments and medication trials, none of which i can do stuck like this.
i just want answers and a chance to try the right kind of help.
I’m asking for help to so I can finally get the mental and physical support and care I’ve needed for years
every donation will help me pay for:
healthy food & nutritional supplements
a safe, clean place to stay temporarily (like an Airbnb or hotel)
a hopefully longer term place to stay (crisis house, supported living etc)
professional support (hair, dentist, therapy, doctor visits)
transportation for medical care
clean clothes and basic hygiene needs
help for uncomfortable gynaecological issues related to long term neglect and lack of proper hygiene facilities
I've gotten so much love and support and advice I never knew anyone would care but I'm so grateful and I'm currently trying to reach out to all the organisations people have suggested but a lot of them cost money or I'll be on a waiting list for years so if anyone can please help me pay for those things or help me maybe stay somewhere else while I can wait for better solutions I'd be eternally thankful ♡
I'm sorry if this comes across as desperate or dramatic but I truly have no where else to turn. until I can get well enough to get a job I'm just stuck here and it's killing me. absolutely no pressure thankyou so much for even checking my page out and if you donate I'd be so incredibly grateful <3
I feel greedy setting the goal as so high but everywhere I find that could help me costs money and even a few nights in a hotel is upwards of £500 so anything at all would mean the world right now thankyou so much
Organizer
Girl R
Organizer