“When dreams meet reality impossible is nothing”

Something I’ve lived by for many years now.  The older I’ve got, the harder I’ve had to work to turn my dreams in to reality and ensure that I make the most of what I’ve been given. 

I am a twin. My brother and I were born 3.5months premature weighing just 2lb and 2lb 1oz respectively and both of us had only a slim chance of survival. In 1988 when I was just 18 months old, I was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy thanks to the persistence of my Mother and Father who noticed that I wasn’t hitting milestones like my brother. For Mum and Dad, they see this as when my life really began because up until that point, they were unsure how best to provide for me.

Having made a positive start in this crazy thing we call life, I did go on to mainstream primary and secondary school and this is where my love of sport really began.  I was the first person in my local area to complete a GCSE in P.E. thank to my P.E. teachers.

It was however also around this time, aged 15/16 that I began to realise that my disability presented a number of challenges that on its own, a mainstream environment couldn’t help me overcome or find ways of mastering. Let’s face it, the teenage years are difficult enough but throw a disability into the mix and well, it can be completely overwhelming.  I made the decision to attend a residential college for those with disabilities. There I was able to develop skills required for independent living on campus alongside others facing similar challenges whilst also completing A-Levels off campus at the local sixth form college. During my time at college I competed Nationally in swimming, regionally in athletics and tried my hand at other sports such as archery, wheelchair hockey and football.  I was achieving in all aspects of life despite previously being told by a school psychologist that I had no foundations and would therefore struggle in adulthood. Life was good, I was building those foundations and yes it was a struggle at times but I was doing what I wanted to do despite having a disability thanks to the influences (good and bad) previously and the support I had around me at that particular point. I made it to University and was offered a place on a Sports degree course.  My family and I were on cloud nine…. Unfortunately, this excitement and feeling of achievement was short lived.  I came to realise as Sylvester Stallone states so eloquently in the Rocky films that “the world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows…. I was bullied because of my disability.

The darkest time of my life. Who’d have thought that at 18 I’d be subjected to psychological bullying at the hands of supposedly educated adults?  This experience at the time, had such a negative influence on me as an individual and I spiraled into years of depression. I gave up competing completely and whilst I felt good at first having left the hostile environment, I quickly felt a sense of failure and hated the world and for the first time ever hated my disability! It took the support of my family and medical professionals for me to be able to begin living again. 

I became a sports coach helping others to reach their potential and achieve their dreams! I was finding myself again and using an experience that had such a negative influence on my life to empower others. I also embarked on a mission to never let my disability define me again. I returned to university studies and achieved an Undergraduate degree with honours, a Masters with merit and a PGCE. 

In 2010, i was diagnosed with Proximal Myopathy. Far from feeling sorry for myself, I began working with a personal trainer going from not being able to get up off the floor to walking the London Marathon over 4 days using a walking frame! I became hungry for more and found Paratriathlon but unfortunately Spontaneous Osteonecrosis of the Knee cut my competitive life short.

I married in 2017. My husband, had never had experience of disability before but mine hasn’t phased him! However things are now getting harder and i refuse to let these changes in my health mean that Phil becomes my carer.

At the time of this being published, we are parents to a 19 month toddler who is finding his feet. Phil said something in his wedding speech that I’ll never forget and its become our moto “We don’t need easy just possible and together, we make everything possible”. It’s a good moto to have in my opinion especially as i am only just beginning to receive minimal help from the Occupational Therapist Team in the area in which I live.

I have always worked even whilst studying and competing.  I have raised money for several charities that assist disabled people and it breaks my heart to say at this stage in my life, i am the one that now requires help. 

I have recently been diagnosed with Hip Dysplasia, Scoliosis, Arthritis and Neuropathic Pain.  At the time of writing this, i do not know whether i will require an operation but my independence is diminishing rapidly.  I can no longer weight bare, transfer, manage my own personal care.  I am even unable to play with or cuddle my son due to the pain. 

As my husband and i are employed, we are not eligible for assistance from the Government and i am in urgent need of an adapted bathroom and kitchen. This will help me regain some of my Independence, take some strain off of my husband and help us become a fully functioning family. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. **Please see updates**