I am currently a music teacher in El Paso, TX where I teach band and choir. This is a two person job which i have managed to do for the past 5 years. I have been diagnosed with hypertension, so stress is not ideal when trying to maintain your blood pressure. In 2019 a series of events at work lead to increased anxiety, depression, and stress. The stress of the job lead to my hospitalization due to my hypertension. I then filed for FMLA medical leave. Over the 9 years I had accumulated quite a bit of sick days. Unfortunately I was out for 9 weeks and the bulk of my sick leave was used. I returned in January and then in March the pandemic hit. We then finished the school year with virtual classes, however due to it being close the end of the school year we were allowed to make it as easy as possible for the students. The next school year that all changed. The expectations and demands coming from the State were overbearing. I became increasingly concerned about how I was going be able to music classes virtually. Needless to say itvas a nightmare. My mental health was being affected and I had absolutely no support from the people I trusted to be my leaders. I was having increased anxiety attacks, as well as an increase in depression. I was lonely, angry, frustrated, scared, and more. At the end of April I began feeling my scalp itching and I could not figure out why. It turns out due to the stress I broke out into shingles. I once again had to take a leave of absence from work only this time I did not have enough sick days to cover me. At the end of June 2021 I did not receive a paycheck which has lead me to my current situation. I did sign up for disability but forgot I had. I just filed and I am waiting for a response. I have not been able to pay my rent, car, utilities, credit cards, phone, or internet. I don't know what else to do so here I am creating a go fund me. Anything helps and I promise I will pay it forward, as I should. I know we have all been through a lot this past year and there has been a lot of struggle, but I know that there are still kind people out there. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Stay safe out there.
Update April 11,2022
It is now been a year almost tripping out on medical leave FMLA due to the series of events you read above. A few things to understand that have transpired since April 2021 after being Unjustifiably removed for my music programs my depression being worse. And at this moment to see the decline of my relationships with people. The first being with my best friend Anna she’s been my best friend for 20 years and it’s over. It is both our faults that not one person but both are to blame.
There are many people out there like me who suffer from mental illness mind being anxiety and depression. My best friend also. Unfortunately I felt like I was being treated poorly something that she has never done in her 20 years and because where was treated at work being betrayed by my leaders. These are people I’m supposed to trust. I shouldn’t have to go to work every day worried that I’m gonna be targeted. And what was hard about it was that I cannot comprehend why people have to act that way. Knowing that I always put in my full effort behind the tasks and given. Yes I did start my decline in mental health begin with those events at work and one outside in my personal life. But it was upsetting me that my best friend was no consistently treating me badly. And I got tired of it and she made a comment to m Andy I yelled at her and and said some things I should’ve said things I would have acted upon. But because of what I said I am now monster in her eyes, and in the eyes of the family I have become a part of all those years. So they shut me out no one asked me why no one asked for an explanation they just went by her words and they all made assumption. And I was never given a chance to fix it but those are the consequences I have to face for my actions which is why I’ve been continuing my therapy and finding ways that are conducive to my healing. Because that argument our circle of friends split up. I do wish them well.’
As 2021 progressed my family was having to deal with the fact that my aunt has been slowly deteriorating before our eyes. Her liver had given out due to heavy drinking. In June 2021 she passed away. My aunt Virginia now we’re close. I spent a lot of time with her and phone calls open Albuquerque in the summers when I was growing up along with my cousin Brittany. Brittany is like a sister to me and I love her with every fiber of my being. It’s unfortunate however that as years past my aunt began to show symptoms of mental health she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Which severely hinder the relationship with her and her daughter. Before my aunt had passed they have not spoken in over 10 years. And throughout the time I observed for mental health done with her and with her relationship with her family members. She was often really disrespectful to my grandmother my mother and my sister. However every time I spoke with her I did not receive any animosity at all. There was a point but I wondered why no one in my family had decided to take it upon themselves to make sure that I got the support she needed. Rather than that I haven’t heard these words, “she needs help.“ I will take myself if she needs help why aren’t you helping her. I did try to help at one point she called me crying saying she missed her daughter advisor maybe it was a good idea to stop drinking and to get some counseling and that she makes the progress in her life did she chose to get help. By this point it was originally and because no one supported her the way they need to she drank her self to death and I have to watch her die slowly over the course of eight months. I was looking at all of her to see my cousin Brittany and her reconcile well Virginia was on her deathbed.I’m home and I’m glad I witnessed because Brittany walked in the room my head but his face lit up with joy she exclaimed “Brittany!” I sat in silence they cut up quickly much to talk about, much to forgive. The next day on June 13, 2021 she passed in peace having a Opportunity to Brittany one last time.
Now, it seems I found myself experiencing but she did, because of her mental illness. I’ve now been outcast by my family, abandoned by my friends, and betrayed by my employer. And although I’ve been in therapy I have a psychiatrist, and a caseworker it doesn’t seem to make it any better difference. Because the day before my aunts funeral in July I received a phone call. the person on the other Side of the car was informing me that I was here just to get it by the FBI for drug trafficking and money laundering because my Social Security number was used to purchase a car which is on blood weapons and drugs. Given that I was in a very vulnerable state I cannot see past the fact that it was a scam. I had a panic attack and I called my mother. As I was telling her what happened and she Abruptly shouted at me, “it was a scam.calm down!” Rather than D escalate the situation she made things worse and I Shouted at her, “you never make things any better, ever.” My panic attack last the entire day. He say then begin thinking about why my friends weren’t there. As I was going to numerous times in my life. Undies when I’m usually feeling low I’ll take the car and drive to Evergreen East cemetery. They’re my grandfather Salvador Ybarra was laid to rests in 1996. I have to feel that he is watching over me because I didn’t mini situation swear things should’ve ended badly and they didn’t. And as I was standing there by his grave crying I called my sister. I’ve always felt that she and I had an unspoken understanding of each other and we never judge another. When she answered my call I begin explaining to her that I needed her to speak to the family about what was going on with me. It wasn’t a joke and I need them to take it seriously. And I was met with the shocking statement, “you need help.“ I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I told her, “I am getting help I’m in therapy. I just psychoanalysis done yesterday.“ My own sister I don’t know what was wrong with her when she said that that wouldn’t be the first time she said it to me.
I was so distraught about my mother and my sister adopt me I told him in a text I do not want to tempt to talk to me at the funeral the next day and to stay with me because he had no respect for me and what I was going through. Next day at the funeral I sang two songs for her and left.
Over the summer I required short-term disability the last two months, I discovered I had invested in 401(k) in 2019 and was able to meet with drawl to assist me in my financial hardship, And I had started up the go fund me which helps get me all the way through September. I then did apply for the long term disability and October 19 of the month I was informed that it was denied. Due to the anxiety being derived from my workplace.
Not knowing what I wanna do next I then turned to UBER. Haven’t been employed with them already for two years I was ready to get in the car log in my app and make some money. Unfortunately when I turn on the app to login I was being instructed that I needed a second background check and I was gonna be a lot of work until I got it. Something I was unable to control I went ahead and submitted my background check but rather than take 3-5 days it ended up taking three weeks. And I lost three weeks of work which caused me to fall behind my car payment. I did feel that because this was a unique situation that I was going through that accountability be taken by UBER and checkr(company that provided the background checks for Uber.
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Rick
PLUR (Peace, Love, Unity, Respect)