Pink Daughters

My name is Torelle Lafaye and in May of this year I was diagnosed with stage 3a Breast Cancer. We all think we’re unstoppable at some point and that’s the reality. Looking back over 2016 and 2017 I was emotionally out of control, I was overly obsessed with the being of this alternative world I’d created while denying God his best. I’d been too far from God, but at that time I was overcome with anger, defeat and loneliness. I wasn’t allowing God to do anything but have to show me he wasn’t playing. I was broken, relationships had scarred me, psychologically interrupted by despair and misery. My brain was shutting down and my heart was taking control of my life...so wicked and selfish. I’m still in amazement of how things turned out, solitary confinement, suicide watch- wait- WAIT HUNTER GREEN POLYESTER GARB Id been put in jail for the ultimate, stabbing an ex! I was so out of it. I was willing to hurt one of God’s children no matter the sacrifice because I was so deeply burned and trying to battle every demon every insecurity, opening doors to tragedy and abuse. I can’t expect God to be lenient when I’ve been so disobedient and sabotaging the only life I get! The struggle was  ongoing and my mind had been taken over by chaos and lies. I had given up or so I thought on Gods path and will, I’d backed myself into a real corner this time , a corner of darkness and inadequacies. I was not doing my part because I was lost in my faith. I cant try to explain how good a God he is, it’s like every desperation of emotion is reached when I think of how I could be somewhere else right now that wasn’t meant for my good, tears and praise usually fill the air after I realize He thought I was worth saving and  it’s all worked out for my good, the good of the Lord. Back when I was diagnosed with the cancer - 2 tumors 7 and 6 cm,I’d found an itchy lump and took myself to the doctor who at first sent me home saying I was fine and there was nothing to worry about, a couple weeks later I’m receiving the news that would set my life as I knew it on fire, things were being shown intentionally for me and I had to believe they were already worked out on my behalf, the beauty of this day is bittersweet for what it represented when I was yet searching for the void to be filled. Im working on becoming a vessel for the Almighty, not once I have denied his love for me through this journey.  Now with only 10 weeks left off chemotherapy, I’ve realized after much research & experience, there’s not a lot out there for your soul while you endure this test, not as many helping hands and how are you’s. I thought for a moment on what my impact could be not only survival trust me there’s a survivors remorse once you’ve seen Breast Cancer take its toll on women who don’t survive. I want to create a safe place. Equipped with survival tools and a place of refuge and peace. Somewhere as your mind races and your emotions become unbearable you can come and dwell, be reminded of the spirit and build off of others strength. You see I was so caught up in the right now and what I must not deserve that I couldn’t see the Savior for the blessings, like the forest for the trees...Not realizing that all of my worship, the studying I was doing asking God to fill my cup until I can over flow into other women who are going through this! I see the struggle and have felt it I also know God for myself and have seen discouragement daily. There are women younger and younger being diagnosed with this illness and it’s time is up, my purpose has been shifted its  being shifted with the wind, there’s a message in my survival and there’s beauty in my brokenness  and it was all because I can honestly say, God chose me, I wasn’t prepared to be a vessel and become someone forever changed by such a common phenomena. There’s healing that needs to take place and I want to create a safe haven for that, a common ground where women can lean on one another and learn about the favor of their Heavenly Father, get assistance on things they don’t understand, have a meal prepared and their souls prayed for, somewhere to laugh and be creative, so that not all of them is lost, being reminded of the strength they must have to be fighting so hard! This place would include an App, where you can video chat and receive messages updates and begin an online journal, a blog for Breast Cancer Patients and a live pod cast for those who are further away but need that extra help when their backs are against the wall. I’m one in 12000 that is a lot of women, I’m one in 6700 African American women, I’m one of 1890 younger than 40 who are diagnosed every year! I need to create a place of surrender and healing. Maybe even find a building to rent out and definitely get the non profit started! I believe I was spared for a reason there are women in my situation who have no support, ive heard stories of women who’d just like the for someone to sit with them, there’s no room for selfishness and I want other women who may feel alone or even women who have lost loved ones, I want them to be exposed to the goodness of what faith and prayer can do. I want to provide needed chemo care packages, bring food and transportation to women in need, to be taken to appointments and to families homes. I’m connected to other successful businesses but I  know God is the best connection to have! I thank you for reading. I won’t be able to get this off the ground without the support of others who believe in my purpose and understand this will add value to the lives of so many women suffering from this disease. I was working all the time until I was diagnosed, and if I didn’t need the help I wouldn’t ask, but there’s a calling and a need for this...you can contact me to discuss more about it! As the donations come in I make sure I personally thank each donor, I will continue to show you where your beautiful contributions are going! God I am praying for increasing inheritance that will shelter your people who are suffering and lost, your women, your mothers and daughters, sister and aunts need this God and through me I will strike up the band and praise you always, it’s no longer about me I understand that and I want everyone who comes in contact with me to know I am yours and they too can be healed. ❤️