Hey! My name is George! I'm a queer musician and creative based in Brighton. It's taken me a while because i struggle with asking for help, especially in this form - it's a bit daunting for me... but I thought it was about time to get some kind of ball rolling and explained a little more about myself... If there's anything i'm grateful for this past year being in lockdowns, it's time.... the time i've had to work on myself, for myself, by myself.
After a lot of processing, i've eventually come to terms with being ready mentally (and almost physically) to be proud of the fact i identify as non-binary! Which looking back on my life, makes so much sense!
Even as a kid and growing up, i've never felt comfortable wearing clothes that society assigned to be 'female' accentuating femininity, but also feeling it was wrong to ever wear clothes from the 'mens' section because i also didn't fully identify with that either. As well as feeling uncomfortable and awkward being referred to as she, Miss or girl but clearly not feeling like He, boy or Mr... Leaving me quite confused about conforming to these expectations how I 'should' dress or how I 'should' act because of being assigned female at birth, often being asked in shameful and humiliating ways if I'm a boy or a girl from how I chose and continue to choose to want to present myself.
All i've ever tried to do is strive for happiness within myself aligning my outer expression with my inner expression... In november 2020, i received my first binder! Then everything just clicked and felt so right! Confirming my thoughts and feelings about top surgery that i've been pushing so far down for far too long because of many factors.
I wish to feel that euphoria and comfort in my very own skin, to dance around shirtless feeling free, not having to rely on a binder (which is the last thing you would want to wear in the heat of the summer) to feel comfortable in clothes and the way they fit... after wearing a binder for long periods of time they become uncomfortable, painful and can cause serious damage in the long term, having to choose between discomfort with dysphoria or discomfort from physical pain after wearing the binder for too long is not how i'd like to live my life...
We live in a world where finding happiness within oneself is like asking for a miracle... With the 4+ year NHS waiting list and living in this capitalistic hell, making it so out of reach and impossible to save for anything beyond my daily needs of living, never mind the extortionate cost of top surgery. It's a huge ask I know, and i will be trying my best to organise as many exciting fundraising ideas as possible in return over the course of this time to hopefully get a step closer to my goal sooner rather than later!
Thank you for your time!