Pete Bender

Pete Bender

Pete my husband recently passed on October 16th of 2023. He first went into the hospital with some health concerns, such as swelling throughout his body. This was continued after first being released from the hospital with instructions to follow up with his Doctor. He then returned to the hospital, after having me call an ambulance as he could not stand on his own. We spent two days in the hospital, when I went home to shower, and check on our dogs. Upon returning to the hospital a code assist was issued over the hospital speaker system for Pete's room. I was directed to the waiting room, and asked by a nurse if I wanted them to continue to bring him back. I of course indicated that I did. He had suffered a cardiac arrest, and was then moved to ICU. After about three days in ICU they did another CT scan of his brain. The results from that scan showed primitive brain function. The part of the brain that controls breathing, heart, and other bodily functions. However the Doctor indicated that there was global damage to the parts of the brain that controlled higher functions. The doctor and nurse both said that with this type of injury there was slim, or little chance of recovery. Meaning Pete, if he had any type of recovery would mean him living as a vegetable for the rest of his life, or on a ventilator. As he had told me when he was a firefighter/EMS, he'd had at that time a written DNR. However when we went into the hospital he did not. So after a few of his life long friends came to see him one more time, I had the most difficult decision I've ever had to make in my life. I had them to remove the ventilator. My father, and I stayed with him so he would not be alone when he passed. Thankfully he passed in 20 minutes from the time the ventilator was removed. He was the love of my life, and my best friend. When I thought there was no one to love me, he saw me and showed me what it meant to be loved. He touched more lives than I believe he realized. I ask for help with these cost today because he was not able to work during the time of his illness. I to was not working, so that I could be with him. We have been also helping my father with the bills. We did not anticipate this as he was only 53 years old. We did not have any insurance, or savings. All of our money had been used to pay my fathers, and our bills. I want to be able to take care of him even in death, he deserves that, and so much more. To know him was to love him, and to be loved by him. I used to tell him "Everybody love Pete." That is so enormously true of him.