Permission to grieve!

Hello everyone!

As you probably already know I lost my 22 year old son unexpectedly October 8, 2021. He was a amazing son, brother, uncle, friend. He died of sudden cardiac arrest. He had an enlarged heart, known as cardiomyopathy.

Elijah was a great young man with so much ahead for him. He had a big heart and would give the shirt off his back. He loved to sing, dance and he was his High School’s cheer coach. He loved people. He had a huge smile and such sincere hugs. He was an amazing listener.

If you never lost a child, please know this is the most gut wrenching thing any parent can go through. I took off 1 month to grieve without pay but that still is not enough. While planning a funeral I had COVID. This mom is tired to say the least. I have cried endlessly every day to the point I can’t breathe. I went back to work thinking staying busy and getting back in routine I would be ok but I’m not! These holidays just bring back so much memories and it’s the first ones without him. Grief counseling starts in January but I’m not sure what to do about work. I may have to change my career because massage takes so much mentally and physically.

Anyway I hoping I can raise enough to take another month off to breathe and try to adjust. Depression and anxiety is beyond the roof and I’m already taking enough meds. I never in my life thought I would be here but unfortunately this is my life and it’s slowly pulling me down. Any help would be appreciated! Happy holidays!