Penny's feminine face
Donation protected
TL/DR: My face is bothering me. I need a new one.
(Also: scroll down for "thank you" levels)
On April 28, 2014, I began what turned out to be a 17-month long period of socially transitioning to my authentic self. I was 54 when I started, and my life now is so much more fulfilling than I could possibly imagine.
Just as long as I don't catch a glimpse of myself.
That's not entirely true: I really do enjoy the occasional image I catch as I stroll a long in a cute dress, or leggings and a tunic, or even in a cute knit hat and mittens with boots.
But when I see my face, I see an old man's face. And it kills me.
I've known I was transgender since I was 8. But it was a few months shy of half a century later that I could live as my true self. And my face reflects that time spent away. It shows the effects of both testosterone and time on it. And it really hurts to see it sometimes.
In many ways I feel cheated out of living an authentic life. At other times I see that so many of the wonderful things I have are specifically due to living the life I did for as long as I did, and I'm grateful for having lived it.
And let's face it: The authentic life that is available to some who transition at 8 today was never mine to have. It's taken decades of work to be where we are in 2021. And I'm one of the people doing this work, through advocacy and being in front of people, telling my stories.
I just want to do it with a younger, more feminine features.
The face I have literally hurts my soul to look at sometimes. That's what dysphoria is: a soul-deep bruise. Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) has been shown to lessen that pain. Being able to walk through the world with a more accurate representation of one's self is literally a lifesaver for a lot of people in the transgender community. Including me.
FFS is a relatively new field, with few truly skillful practitioners, none of whom live in my town. It's also a different procedure from person to person. What I want is the bony protuberance above my eyes to be sanded down. I want my hooded lids to be trimmed back, I want jaw to be unjowled, and I want my chin to be a little chinnier.
I'd also like my hairline to be a shade lower, but I'm not sure if that's gonna happen.
And while there are some insurances that cover these procedures the one I have does not.
The truth of the matter is that $25,000 will not cover everything I want to have happen. But it will cover some of it. Or it may get me into an insurance that does cover FFS, and I might be able to swing it that way. And even then, I'll have to figure out how to travel to wherever I need to go to get the procedure done, and where I'll be living while there, and how to get from here to there, et c.
Or maybe I'll get more than $25k and be able to take care of so much more.
But first let's start with this and see how much I can do.
LEVELS:
I've been thinking about what to do to thank my friends for helping. Here's what I've come up with so far(each level gets everything offered at the lower level as well):
Any amount: I put a beauty mark on my face for a day in your name. I hope I don't run out of face.
$100-499: We have coffee (either in person or via Zoom), we chat, and I tell you a story. I don't know if you know this or not, but I'm a pretty good storyteller
$500-999: Free admission for you and a guest to as many of my shows as you would like,
$1,000-4,999: A private show in your house for you and up to 10 guests. If you're more than a 3 hour drive from me you also get to let me sleep on your couch!
$5,000 and up: I'll also make my famous chili (and/or vegan chana masala) for you and your guests!
Yeah, I know the upper levels are a bit lame, but if I could afford to do something fancier, I prolly wouldn't need to be doing this fundraiser. Plus, my chili is seriously tasty.
Thank you in advance for anything you can do to help!
(Also: scroll down for "thank you" levels)
On April 28, 2014, I began what turned out to be a 17-month long period of socially transitioning to my authentic self. I was 54 when I started, and my life now is so much more fulfilling than I could possibly imagine.
Just as long as I don't catch a glimpse of myself.
That's not entirely true: I really do enjoy the occasional image I catch as I stroll a long in a cute dress, or leggings and a tunic, or even in a cute knit hat and mittens with boots.
But when I see my face, I see an old man's face. And it kills me.
I've known I was transgender since I was 8. But it was a few months shy of half a century later that I could live as my true self. And my face reflects that time spent away. It shows the effects of both testosterone and time on it. And it really hurts to see it sometimes.
In many ways I feel cheated out of living an authentic life. At other times I see that so many of the wonderful things I have are specifically due to living the life I did for as long as I did, and I'm grateful for having lived it.
And let's face it: The authentic life that is available to some who transition at 8 today was never mine to have. It's taken decades of work to be where we are in 2021. And I'm one of the people doing this work, through advocacy and being in front of people, telling my stories.
I just want to do it with a younger, more feminine features.
The face I have literally hurts my soul to look at sometimes. That's what dysphoria is: a soul-deep bruise. Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) has been shown to lessen that pain. Being able to walk through the world with a more accurate representation of one's self is literally a lifesaver for a lot of people in the transgender community. Including me.
FFS is a relatively new field, with few truly skillful practitioners, none of whom live in my town. It's also a different procedure from person to person. What I want is the bony protuberance above my eyes to be sanded down. I want my hooded lids to be trimmed back, I want jaw to be unjowled, and I want my chin to be a little chinnier.
I'd also like my hairline to be a shade lower, but I'm not sure if that's gonna happen.
And while there are some insurances that cover these procedures the one I have does not.
The truth of the matter is that $25,000 will not cover everything I want to have happen. But it will cover some of it. Or it may get me into an insurance that does cover FFS, and I might be able to swing it that way. And even then, I'll have to figure out how to travel to wherever I need to go to get the procedure done, and where I'll be living while there, and how to get from here to there, et c.
Or maybe I'll get more than $25k and be able to take care of so much more.
But first let's start with this and see how much I can do.
LEVELS:
I've been thinking about what to do to thank my friends for helping. Here's what I've come up with so far(each level gets everything offered at the lower level as well):
Any amount: I put a beauty mark on my face for a day in your name. I hope I don't run out of face.
$100-499: We have coffee (either in person or via Zoom), we chat, and I tell you a story. I don't know if you know this or not, but I'm a pretty good storyteller
$500-999: Free admission for you and a guest to as many of my shows as you would like,
$1,000-4,999: A private show in your house for you and up to 10 guests. If you're more than a 3 hour drive from me you also get to let me sleep on your couch!
$5,000 and up: I'll also make my famous chili (and/or vegan chana masala) for you and your guests!
Yeah, I know the upper levels are a bit lame, but if I could afford to do something fancier, I prolly wouldn't need to be doing this fundraiser. Plus, my chili is seriously tasty.
Thank you in advance for anything you can do to help!
Organizer
Penny Sterling
Organizer
Rochester, NY
