Hi!  I'm Jamie.  And internet, I'm coming to you, hat in hand, for help.

About 5 years ago, I started burping.  A lot.  Constantly.  Neverending.  I cut out soda, gassy foods, literally anything that I could think of that could be a suspect.  It didn't help.

Like any responsible adult, I went to my doctor. She referred me to gastrointerology for an upper endoscopy, citing "functional dyspepsia" - indigestion with no obvious cause. 

Turns out I have a hiatal hernia, which, in short, means part of my stomach is above my diaphragm where it doesn't belong. 

At the time it was small, so surgical intervention was riskier than noninvasive methods to correct it.  I had conveniently caught mononucleosis around the same time and my appetite tanked as a result, so the GI and I agreed that we'd try to fix it with weight loss while I rode out the mono.

Well, that didn't help at all.  Still burped nonstop.  I became increasingly self-concious of it, and it began to take a toll on my mental health.  Slowly, it has began to exhibit more readily apparent symptoms, both to me, and to anyone around me.  I started to become nauseous randomly throughout the day, which affects my appetite.  When I do decide I'm hungry enough to risk food, I end up binging, because I need to get calories while I can - not great for the hernia. 

Because part of my stomach is above my diaphragm, I also have a hard time breathing.  If I take a deep breath, I usually end up needing to burp more at best, or triggering my gag reflex at worst (turns out you're not supposed to swallow air, which I do every time I breathe whether I want to or not).

Both of these things have done a lot of damage to my anxiety and depression.  I'm extremely aware of the burping I can't control and how it makes me appear.  I'd been confronted about it multiple times at my last full time employer, even though I made everyone aware of the situation and that I was working to rectify it.  And not being able to take a deep breath when I need to... 

But I was working on it.  I was saving money, I had a fresh upper endoscopy with a new GI, and a consultation scheduled.  I was finally going to get it fixed. 

Then COVID happened.

I lost my well-paying job and my insurance.  The money I saved went to bills and rent while I waited for unemployment in Florida to approve me.  My dream of living a hernia-free life was gone.  To make matters worse, during the upper endoscopy before my consultation, it was discovered that the hernia had gotten worse.

I thought I could ride it out until I was working again.  But over my time in quarantine, it's gotten progressively worse.  If I eat more than a snack, I can't breath normally.  If I eat too much, I end up puking so I can breath.  If I don't eat...  There's no winning as long as this hernia is in the equation.  

My mental health the last few years has taken a beating.  I hate that I appear to be rude by burping 24/7, when all I really want to do is clear room in my chest so I can breath and stay alive.  I live in constant fear that each meal, each drink, could be the one that causes my stomach to interfere with my breathing enough to cause irreversible, possibly fatal, consequences.  I can't enjoy many foods anymore because of the acid reflux that typically accompanies these hernias.

I feel like I'm not living anymore, in a way.  Just present, merely surviving.  A lot of that is tied directly to the physical and mental tolls this has taken on me since being financially unable to remedy it since my original diagnosis in 2015.

I am looking to raise $7500, for both the cost of the surgery, and living expenses while I recover afterwards.  Based on preliminary research, the average cost of a hiatal hernia repair is around $5000 without insurance - the catch is its considered elective at this point, and despite having decent coverage for 2021 through the ACA, I'm PETRIFIED they won't cover any of it because it's not immediately life threatening, so I'm shooting for the uninsured cost and hoping this isn't the case.  The other $2500 I'm seeking will be to cover rent, bills, food, and other essential living expenses during the 2 month period I'll be recovering and unable to work (I am starting a new career as we speak, but as a 1099 contractor, I won't have any benefits or PTO). 

Any excess money will be paid forward, most likely to a charity marathon on Twitch during a beatmania IIDX showcase, as that game and community has been a huge part of my life, especially during the lockdowns of 2020.

Thanks for your time.

TLDR: I'm poor and my stomach wants me dead.  I'd rather not be dead.  Need $7500 for surgery and living expenses during recovery.  Anything left over will be donated to another worthy cause.