As most of you know, my hubby had a full on Stroke in April, and then open heart surgery the end of August with 5 bypasses. He then developed c-dif and spent 15 days in the hospital. (He also had knee replacement right before the stroke).

During this time my daughter was fighting to survive in a different hospital. For weeks I spent my time driving to both hospitals to be with them … not a short drive from where we lived. During this time I started to loose feeling in my legs… found out I had a spur on my spine that was impinging my spinal chord and I had to have emergency back surgery to be able to walk again. A long and painful recovery followed.

My husband lost his job, as his CDL was revoked due to the stroke and heart surgery. This meant that I lost my health insurance as well.

Steve had always wanted to travel and see the country… our long term plan was to eventually purchase a camper and make this dream a reality. With my husband struggling with his cognitive skills and losing the bulk of our income, we decided to purchase a small camper and move forward with our plans. Realistically speaking, it was much less than continuing to pay rent in our beautiful home and utilities. We bought our little camper with hopes to purchase a bigger one once his disability would kick in. (Steve’s medical team is all in agreement that he can not return to work, as he still struggles in certain areas and he is 65).

As of today, we have no word on his disability pay, we are now paying for health insurance (a small portion gets refunded for Steve when Medicare feels like it), and my health insurance (a ginormous deductible).

I am struggling with severe anxiety… I am okay with “tiny house living” just not THIS tiny! I literally can’t breathe, as it is just too hard for me to function in a 34’ space with 6 foot ceilings… money is tight, so we are in this small space most of the time. To top it off, my sweet Hurley, who has been my support dog ever since my 1st brain surgery, started acting very strange… after calling numerous vets to find one willing to take payments (literally none), he was diagnosed with severe anxiety! This probably is a combination of him also being stuck in a tiny space with nowhere to escape, and him sensing my own anxiety. He is now on medication just like me

I have completely neglected my own health this past year for obvious reasons. The mass on my brain hasn’t been checked in over a year (attributing to more anxiety and ptsd), my arms go numb throughout the day nearly every day, I have been in a bad flare up with my Rheumatoid arthritis with no medication (that would warrant a doctor appointment which isn’t in the cards). My hair is falling out again ( I think this is stress), and I get terrible Charlie horses through out my body.

Yesterday we tried to upgrade to a bigger camper (5th wheel) hoping to make life a bit more comfortable (this is still much less than renting with utilities)… Steve has his pension, but until (when and if) he gets approved for his disability, we are truly stuck in our tiny travel trailer.

I wanted to start a YouTube Chanel hoping to gain an extra income by sharing our journey… terrible internet where we are has put this on hold. We have decided to Doordash and do instacart for a little extra funds… we are a ways away from any big cities and only have our gas guzzling truck, making this not doable either.

I have a BA in Organizational Management with a minor in Psychology, but so many circumstances keep me from working outside of the home. I qualify for disability due to the large mass on my brain, but I do not have enough work history for this to happen (I stayed at home during my 1st marriage to raise my children) I went to college late in life and only graduated in 2016… my 1st brain surgery took place shortly after I graduated and I lost my job.

If you have read this post this far…. Thank you

To say that I am struggling would be an understatement… I am trying to focus on the fact that Steve and I have overcome so very much, and survived things that most people do not…. BUT IT IS SO DAMN HARD!

I don’t want pity… I just want to address our circumstances, as so many of you have asked…

Praying for 2023 to be better before I completely break.

#strokesurvivor #openheartsurgerysurvivor #brainsurgerysurvivor #suicidesurvivor #anxietyawareness #ptsdawareness #faith #family