I can’t express what it feels like to know you have to plan a life without your partner. I know the fear of going to a hospital not knowing if I was going to be visiting or collecting. I know what it’s like to try and balance work and being a full time caregiver, it almost took him twice. I know employers can’t have someone who misses due to too much time spent at procedures or overnights in the hospital (believe me I have had my “talking to’s”) I am painfully aware of how he is looked at and talked to. I have many times done the stress cry, anger breakdown, and disassociated. If being hysterical made it better I would never be sane.