Help a family in our community

Dear Friends of Carroll Gardens and beyond,

I need your listening ear (and reading eyes ;), and will ask you to take a moment to read this summary of a situation that one of our community members is facing.

A few months ago, I met this beautiful individual, whose name I will keep private. Her five year old son made friends with mine (also 5) at Carroll Park, in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn. She approached me, and in the sweetest and non-invasive way, asked for my help.

She explained she lives in a shelter in Carroll Gardens, and that her husband, who had repeatedly beat her was finally in custody, leaving her to fend for herself and her young son. She asked if I could find her a job, just to make a little bit of cash, to round off the corners of the insufficient government aid she was receiving. In the past, she had been a caretaker for her father-in-law and this was the only working experience she had. “I can learn” she pleaded, “I will do whatever you want, and I can learn”. I already had a housekeeper so offered to give her a little bit of money, until I figured out how to get her a job. But she refused, saying “Thank you, it is very kind of you, but I want to work for my money.”

A week later, I decided to train her in home-cooking, more specifically providing some sort of a “white glove” local grocery shopping and food preparation. She would shop, deliver, wash and prep all kinds of fresh produce, making delicious, healthy and hearty salads. Soon she was learning more recipes for home cooked meals. I had her booked three days a week and friends who were willing to give her a try quickly grew fond of her work and the great service she provided. While she was able to make a little pocket money, it wasn’t the stable salary that she’ll ultimately needed.

I helped enroll her child at our local public school PS58 (he was then at a public school that forced her to commute for nearly 3 hours a day during a pandemic!), where our generous and loving community (both school staff as well as attending families) received this broken family with open arms and treated them with such dignity and respect. Her sweet but wounded child quickly made friends with other kids, whose families provided support in any way that was possible (coordinated playdates, offered clothes, offered legal help and counseling, and more). The child quickly thrived, and this is after the trauma of abuse, in addition to moving from shelter to shelter, every time his own father crossed the line and beat his mother so badly, the police had to come and get them to safety.

Had you seen the boy and his mother when I met them, and if you could see them now, you wouldn’t believe how a community opening their arms can help a wounded family see the light of day again. The mother, on her end, made friends, some sharing the same culture and religion (she is a devout Muslim), and some, who don’t (like me, for example, I’m a devout Jew) but loved her all the same as she is such an endearing person. She has found happiness in this community and started to build a life for herself and her little boy, but unfortunately, this moment is at risk of not having a happy ending.

On October 1st (in less than 2 weeks), this woman and her son will be evicted from her shelter in the neighborhood and forced to move to the Bronx, in yet another shelter, where the crime rate (especially crimes against women) is highest in the city. Her young son will also be uprooted from his school community, one that is caring and compassionate, one that has welcomed and supported him since day 1.

In complete desperation, she begged us to help her find an apartment who would accept the PHEPS voucher she was given. The PHEPS is a government program that helps victims of abuse avoid eviction by offering an amount (in this family’s case) of $1320 per month for a duration of 12 months (with a possibility for renewal if her working conditions don’t change over the course of the year). This program also promises to reward any landlord who will accept these terms with a $4300 signing bonus. So far, finding a landlord who will accept this low rent has been impossible, even though we have ventured deep into Brooklyn*. But if we can find a reasonable commute to and from PS58, we would even consider Queens. To be clear, her main objective right now is to keep her son at this school, where he is happy and supported, in a way he has never been in his young life.

A couple of days ago, I shared this heartbreaking story through my two school community networks (Hannah Senesh and PS58, where my kids attend/attended) and asked for help and the responses were incredibly touching. Within an hour of sending the initial email, I had received countless generous offers, ranging from housing assistance, numerous offers for financial support, legal assistance, emotional support (which was HUGE), help with home furnishing, clothing, help spreading her story to raise awareness, creative and brilliant ideas on how to shine a spotlight on our system’s failures, and even job offers for her. Responses are still steadily coming in and it makes me all teary to share this.

I have never felt so positively overwhelmed.

Desperation has now turned to full blown optimism.

There is bright light at the end of this tunnel, I can see it clearly now, and I am fueled by all of you to help her reach it.

While this was not my original intent, it has become clear, based on so many of you expressing a desire to provide some form of financial support, that a GoFundMe would make sense. Even though she has asked to work in exchange for help, we are now at a point where housing is really only a first step to getting her life in order. With no bank account or credit, a modest amount of spending money beyond her food stamps will be a huge help.

Thanks to the help of a select group of friends who have generously offered their time and collective brain power, we will be able to parallel process and pursue the four different areas of help that she needs:

- Financial support

- Housing

- Media awareness around a broken system for victims of domestic violence and their families (contact Regan Penaluna [email redacted])

- Job or income opportunities

If I haven’t yet responded to your personal email, please know that I will over the next few days. I also don’t want to overwhelm you will messages and so will plan to update you all once things have meaningfully progressed.

In the meantime, I’m forever grateful.

Feel free to share this story with your communities.

Yours truly,

Anik

[email redacted]

* The conditions to the PHEPS program kicking in are incredibly restrictive, and so far, even offering to bridge the gap in cash has left landlords reluctant to lower their “on the books” rent amount, based on the concern that this lower amount becomes the new legal rent, which under current laws, would not allow them to raise it much over that amount for future tenants.