Stage 4 Cervical Cancer treatment & therapy

Update 25/01/2024

After the CT scan and MRI scan this week the operation is going ahead tomorrow

The surgeon is basically removing everything

Womb

Ovaries

Cervix

Tubes

Appendix

Cystic mass they found

Omentum

I’ve got to sign consent for if he needs to remove part of my bowel and I’ll have to have a stoma

Also peritoneum

Still can’t get my head round any of this or that it’s happening to me. Still completely blindsided. Every morning is the same - it takes me a while to take it all in again. Because I forget at night.

Feels like some kind of nightmare that happens to other people- never ever expect it to happen to you. Thanks again so much for all your support and messages. See you on the other side- I hope

Update 17/01/2024

I just want to thank everyone who has donated, I appreciate all your support so so much- I cant tell you what a difference it has made. I’m still in a difficult place mentally but am trying my best to put one foot in front of the other every day.

The oncology surgeon has agreed to operate next Friday which has given me some hope. Hope of what I’m not sure. I will be having a full hysterectomy with omentum removal. The surgeon will take out as much cancer as he can do in the surgery then stitch me back up, wait for me to heal and then kill me with chemotherapy. Or that’s how it feels.

I’ve made an appointment with a menopause clinic as I’ll go straight into surgically induced menopause which I’m frightened of. This was £295 which my mum paid for but the cost of prescriptions in addition will be hundreds of pounds.

I’ve also been to a clinic in Rochdale today who have taken 8 vials of blood to be tested to see if they can find out more about my specific type of cancer

What is feeding it etc

How to slow it down

This cost £275

Then one supplement they’ve advised I take is £290 for 10 days.

They are recommending a lot of supplements all of similar prices.

Everything is just so expensive and not available on the nhs who are just so overwhelmed and underfunded. That’s why cancer outcomes are so poor in the UK compared with other countries.

I’ve also got the option to go to Germany for a second opinion- which costs thousands.

They can offer targeted chemotherapy which is £4000 a round. I seriously underestimated cancer.

As you know my mental health has been in an extremely bad place - I have uncontrollable anxiety- which if you’ve never experienced- is the most horrific thing ever. To try and explain how it feels is like when you watch Harry Potter and someone is under The Cruciatus Curse- it’s like the most pain that’s ever been inflicted on anyone ever - but it’s not pain like childbirth or a broken bone - it’s like torment - like your insides are all twisted up and there’s no possible release other than death. Like you can’t breathe and your body is electrically on fire at the same time- waves of fire - running and running and burning through your veins but you can’t move - you’re frozen by it.

And your mind can’t switch off - it’s dredging up every bad memory you’ve ever had and telling you lies about yourself and your future. It’s like what i imagine hell to be.

I’ve got an appointment with a psychiatrist as things aren’t improving which is £495 and then ongoing therapy potentially.

I’ve just got to keep going for now. Going to sleep. Waking up to the same nightmare and getting through the hours. One day at a time and hoping that with your help and support and donations one day this nightmare might be over. Emma x

12/01/24 *Update*

Biopsy results

The news we were expecting at worst today was stage three ovarian cancer.

I’d actually had some hope with the last biopsy that this might have been scaled back to stage 2 even stage 1 just from what the doctor had said.

Unfortunately this wasn’t the news we received. One tiny little cell changed everything. The oncologist confirmed that the cancer actually originated from the cervix (despite me having 6 monthly cervical smears) It was missed. Which now means it has spread far beyond stage 3 and we are looking at a Stage 4 Cervical Cancer diagnosis.

This news has completely devastated us all.

Stage 4 is what nobody wants to hear and it’s knocked me for six. I’m overwhelmed completely by fear and sadness and the realisation I might not be here in a year.

I don’t know how I’ve dragged myself through today. I’ve wanted to just give up. I’ve moved from sofa to bed and back again. I’ve screamed and sobbed and shouted. I’ve self medicated to feel less of everything. There really are no words to describe how a diagnosis like this feels. 6 weeks ago I was living my life, your life, a mums life. Full of tiny troubles and quibbles and things that seem so far away from important now than I can barely even think of them. I don’t have anything poignant to say. Only that today so many people have told me to enjoy what time you have left with your girls - but I’m frozen by fear. I can’t imagine what it feels like to enjoy anything anymore. I wish I was like bowel babe with her kick ass attitude but it’s just not me. I’m too sad about the life I wanted to live and too crushed for violet and izzie.

I don’t know what’s next - I think surgery is still on the cards but it all seems so futile. Maybe I’ll buck up and get some fight from somewhere- maybe pray for that for me xx pray I have the strength to fight That’s what I need right now. And tons more drugs. Emma xx

*Update* 30/12

Just had my second surgery at Preston hospital and am home.

Operation ended up being 2 separate ones at the same time for two separate cancers

Under general anaesthetic

Laperoscopy on omentum for ovarian grading and loop incision biopsy as my cervical smear came back with high grade pre- cancerous changes

This is in addition to the ovarian malignancy

And the ovarian one has a tear so next operation will be removal with full hysterectomy

They’ve got to wait for cervical biopsy results to decide about whether lymph removal is necessary and then they’ll give me a date for hysterectomy. But they are pretty sure this will precede any chemotherapy.

Good signs are that they couldn’t see any visible damage or tumors on my omentum but they took a chunk to biopsy anyway as that’s the only way to know for sure if it’s spread there.

So the CT scan showed damage but the surgeon couldn’t find any evidence of it so it could have been inflammation showing on the CT scan- we just won’t know yet.

Another good sign is the free fluid was milky and not murky which could mean it’s not ascites but instead is leaking fluid from my tumor.

They’ve taken some to biopsy again just an awful wait for the results- weekend and new year delays in pathology.

Just got to wait and pray now for good news and better days. I’m so overwhelmed and grateful for all of your love, support, prayers and donations. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Emma xx

Hi I’m Emma. I’m 42 and a mummy to a 5 year old called Violet and a 17 year old called Izzie.

I have a husband Mark and 4 step- sons who usually stay 3 nights one week and 1 the next. It’s busy. It’s hectic.

I went to the doctor a few weeks ago with bloating and he thought he could feel an abdominal mass so sent me for a CT scan at the hospital on a 2 week wait. The results came back as a large 10cm x 15cm cystic mass in my abdomen. With Omental infiltration (damaged tissue) which looks like the cancer has spread and also fluid in my abdomen. Next step was a biopsy and ultrasound which failed to get the correct cells for diagnosis- after another weeks torturous wait. Then Christmas which means everything closes. And depression starts setting in. I’m prone to serious depressive episodes but have been stable on meds for 5 years. If I ever needed anything to de- stabilise me it was going to be this. I’m literally a nervous wreck. Knocking back diazepam like there is no tomorrow- which feels like a real possibility at the moment. Literally feel like I’m in some sort of hell. Some days I’ve just stared out the window for 8 hours perusing the possibility of suicide. Other days I’ve managed some normality for an hour or two. But essentially I feel like my head is mangled. Can’t eat. Panic attacks. A&E- useless- suicidal thoughts. Just an absolute nightmare. We live in a rented house and my husband pays the bills and my income usually pays for everything else. But right now I have no income as I’m self employed- flowers- supply teacher. No sick pay. Zero savings. Rented car. Great forward planning Emma. Just a mess. I now need to try and focus on getting my mental health stable so I can look at the possibility of alternative cancer treatments and having to pay for a private psychiatrist as the only way on the NHS is if I’m sectioned and then any NHS cancer treatment would be delayed. It’s an absolute shit show over here quite frankly. I’m hoping to raise some money to get the help and support I so desperately need both for the cancer and also my head. Then I plan to get through this utter nightmare and help others who find themselves catapulted into this nightmare situation. Ovarian cancer is not common. Not for 42 year olds anyway. The consultant thinks stage 3. Google says the odds aren’t good. And that’s for someone in a normal headspace. I’m literally broken beyond words and any help and support would be greatly appreciated.

My mum has advanced dementia so can’t be there for me and the last year I’ve missed her terribly. I think counselling and therapy and taking charge of my own cancer care are my only way forward and I need your help and support for that. This is really not in my nature. I’m not an oversharer. I don’t ask people for money. But my friend suggested this and so I thought I’ve got nothing to lose. I’ve got 1000 friends on Facebook and if they all gave £1 that’s a good start. Pride’s overrated. Life is important. Emma xx