We are desperate and we need help for our 16 year old daughter that suffers from mental illness. We are not ones to put our baggage out on facebook but we have exhausted all options.
We have struggled for months working with our daughter’s therapists, and trying to find a place we could send her for long term treatment, to no avail. We have been told there’s nowhere in the state of Michigan that can help her unless she tries to kill herself or she commits a crime and gets locked up. What parent really wants to see their child go through either of those scenarios? We have been through enough self harm attempts and it’s a really shitty feeling to wake up and the first thing you do is check to make sure your child is still alive.
The majority of the time when she has harmed herself, the hospital either sends us away after they determine she’s not a risk or they admit her then discharge 4 days later because insurance won’t pay anymore. The system is a joke!
10 days ago we had the police out to our house (not the first time) after she assaulted us. I told the officer I wanted charges pressed against her... he asked me three times and each time I gave him the same answer. He never even wrote anything up in his report. (The second time this same officer has been out and the second time he’s failed to write anything about her assaults)... which in turn prevents us from getting her into the court system so that we can get her longer term help. My husband even called him the next day and begged him to please change his report. His response was “if I was in your shoes, I wouldn’t want my kid to have a record!” So here we are trying to take the steps the professionals have put in place for us, yet because we don’t have a charge, we can’t get her help... so we thought.
Miraculously, after spending over 24 hours in the ER, her therapist convinced the ER mental health professional to find her a bed. She’s now been at a facility for the last 10 days, and she’s not doing well at all. They can’t get her stabilized, we have never seen her this bad, for this long.
We were given some names of places to call for help once she’s stabilized/released (all out of state). The one in Indiana is $21k a month and would be a 90 day program minimum with a maximum of 6 months.
Through many different loopholes and referrals, I finally spent 1.5 hours on the phone speaking with an advocate for adolescent mental health, she’s in Maryland. After going through my daughters history with her, she believes Indiana is not the right fit for her. We may have to take it as a first step because they have a bed available, but long term, it’s not our answer for the therapy she needs. This advocate spends her time researching all facilities across the country, visiting them and making sure the kids are getting the proper treatment.
She is recommending two facilities, one in Northern California or one in South Carolina. The first 90 days of treatment is $575 per day, then ranges $10-15k per month for a year, and she needs a program with a year treatment.
We were told to look at taking equity out on our house but we don’t have that kind of equity built up, we’ve only been in our house for three years. There is a chance we can fight insurance to get some costs reimbursed but no matter what, we will have a hefty bill.
She is 16 and on good days, she’s kindest, happiest girl ever. However, on bad days, it’s real bad and we’ve seen more bad than good days the last year. She suffers from bipolar, ADHD, anxiety, depression & ODD. Her name is TyLee. Stop the stigma, don’t give her the side eye or shun her now that you know her name.
Please, I’m begging, pleading and praying for your help no matter if it’s sharing this post, saying a prayer or donating. I want my daughter!! I want her to be happy. Time is not on our side, we have to line up our next steps as soon as possible. My husband has been laid off most of the winter, and still is (thanks Covid). Just because the system has failed her, we can’t give up on her!
Once I have my daughters situation sorted out, I am going after the mental health laws, and will work to get them changed. Nobody should ever get the kind of run around you receive when dealing with mental health.
Thank you for taking the time to read,
Kim