Our Journey to a Family of Four

My name is Alyssa, and my husband Tim and I have taken a lot of time to discuss whether this is a good idea or not. At this point we also feel as if we don’t have much choice given our limited time and resources.

I am posting this to share my story, which is a little bit awkward, but I feel it’s necessary for everyone to understand what we’ve been going through the past two years and why were asking for help. I’d like to start with two years ago after we welcomed our beautiful boy Daniel into the world. Our experience was fairly normal with some issues here and there, like my induction failing and not being able to produce milk. We didn’t think anything of it until 6 months to a year later when at my follow up appointments my menstrual cycle still had not returned after birth. This was very odd considering I had asked pretty much all of my friends/family what their experience was and I was an anomaly. Plus I was still lactating even though I had stopped breast-feeding at eight months postpartum and stopped my lactation medication at nine months postpartum. I was also experiencing other symptoms that could be considered menopausal or postpartum symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, irritability etc… which didn’t seem like a problem until they never went away. After advocating for myself time and time again but being ignored and told to just keep waiting I finally made an appointment with a different physician in my family doctors office at 14 months postpartum. This doctor finally listened to me and ordered extensive bloodwork and ultrasounds. My ultrasounds came back normal structurally. My blood work was quite abnormal. I was producing too much prolactin (the milk hormone) to be normal but not enough to produce sufficient milk, and this was suppressing my other reproductive hormones like estrogen, FSH, and LH.

My doctor then consulted with an endocrinologist to determine what was causing this. They were originally trying to rule out if I had premature ovarian failure/early menopause and so they ordered more bloodwork and testing. It was determined that I didn’t have those, but still didn’t explain my symptoms. At this point there weren’t really any other tests that my family doctor could order so I was officially being put on a wait list to see an endocrinologist in August 2024. Thankfully I was accepted in October and I met with the endocrinologist to discuss my situation. She explained that at this point there were only 2 possibilities to explain what was happening and they were both brain related. She ordered more bloodwork and an MRI. Thankfully, when she put in a referral for the MRI it expedited the process quite a bit and I was able to get in at the end of October 2024 to have it done. That MRI showed that I had a fairly large mass on my pituitary gland in my brain, it was approximately 2 cm x 2 cm x 2 cm or comparable to a grape. This may not seem very big, but in comparison to your pituitary gland which is the size of a pea, and your brain which is the size of both of your fists put together, it is considered to be large. It’s large enough that it is actually pressing on my optic nerves. I underwent rigorous blood tests to determine the extent of the damage to my hormone regulation and vision testing with a neuro-ophthalmologist. It was determined that even though it’s pressing on the optic nerves my vision is not impaired at this point so it’s something to monitor. It was also determined that it has impaired the function of the pituitary gland to produce FSH and LH which regulate estrogen, my thyroid stimulating hormone so I have to supplement that with Synthroid, and the ability to produce growth hormone, which as an adult isn’t a big deal, but does impact trying to have children as you need it for the fetus to grow. Ironically, it is also likely the cause of my issues with induction and milk production from before as well.

My endocrinologist was then concerned whether it was a hormone secreting tumour or not. At first they thought that maybe it was secreting prolactin and that is why my levels were elevated but based on its size and my blood work results it wasn’t likely. They still wanted to be sure so I was put on medication to suppress prolactin production and I was told to wait six months for a follow up MRI and vision testing.

This brings us to now May 2025. I did my follow up MRI and had a follow up with my eye specialist. My tumour has been stable over six months with no growth and my prolactin level was able to be controlled by the prolactin suppressant, but it did not change the size of the tumour. So that means that it is not secreting any hormones, which is called a non-functional macro adenoma. I did meet with a neurosurgeon and unfortunately the damage is permanent and non-secreting tumours are usually not removed because there is a 50-50 chance of causing more damage. I could end up with diabetes, blood pressure issues, other hormone impairments, or a cortisol deficiency which is life threatening etc... So, my surgeon, eye specialist and endocrinologist feel that it’s in my best interest to leave it and manage the symptoms for the rest of my life.

It was now time to determine the plan to help Tim and I get pregnant since I was not able to menstruate or ovulate on my own. I was prescribed estrogen patches to wear and to take progesterone once a month to induce a period just so that my hormones would adjust and get used to that again because at that point I hadn’t had a period in 2 1/2 years. I originally thought I might be able to take ovulation pills like clomid or letrozole, which some of you might be aware of. Unfortunately, my endocrinologist explained that in my case my pituitary cannot produce the correct amount of FSH/LH so I actually need to supplement the amount with an injection. This injection is called Menopur and it’s a one-to-one ratio of FSH to LH. This would mean I would have to inject the Menopur every day, get blood work every other day and stay in contact with my Endocrinologist so that if I need to make any adjustments I’m able to do that very quickly. Once my estrogen levels get to an appropriate amount I have to do an ultrasound to look at my eggs and endometrium of my uterus, unfortunately this is not covered by Alberta health services as it is considered to be for fertility and not medically necessary so it costs $175. If this ultrasound goes well and we continue with the cycle then I have to do an injection of hCG to trigger ovulation to happen and then Tim and I would be able to try to get pregnant. The chances of getting pregnant are the same with this method as if we were just naturally trying without any medication supplementation. My endocrinologist gave me a prescription to take to the pharmacy to look at the cost and availability of these two injections. Unfortunately, my pharmacist and I discovered that my work insurance has a lifetime maximum drug coverage amount for fertility medication and this is only $2400 and there is no other associated coverage with mine or Tim’s drug benefits. So, with that applied I would still owe $1200 out-of-pocket for just for 1 month of the Menopur injection and one hCG injection is $250. Overall, for one cycle just to try to get pregnant it would be 1650 out of pocket. This was quite shocking considering that the first cycle is more or less a trial, because we don’t know how my ovaries will respond to stimulation and so my endocrinologist would be starting me on a half dose of the daily injection at first. So, it is very likely that we will have to do a second cycle, but with that being said it would cost almost $4000 since our coverage would be exhausted. My endocrinologist did also say that she would only give us three cycles maximum to try and get pregnant with these methods as after that it would be unlikely that we would successfully get pregnant and she could refer me to IVF. Tim and I have discussed that we do not want to do IVF or IUI as they are way too expensive and significantly out of our budget. Sadly, this option is the only one that is possibly attainable, but still quite costly as we’ve estimated that for three cycles total we’d be expecting around $9500 in expenses.

We’re trying to sell some of our belongings. Tim is working a lot of overtime. I’ve been trying to pick up as many weekends as I can and even looking for a second job but the timeline is quickly approaching and obviously I’m not getting any younger. The time to proceed is now, and our deadline is the end of August so, I have decided that we would reach out and ask for help. I can understand that there will be a lot of people that don’t agree with our decision. You may feel that this process is too expensive, that it is not financially worth it since we might still end up with no baby. I also know that people might say that we should just be grateful that we have Daniel, and believe me we are more than grateful to have him. As it was quite possible that I could’ve missed my chance to even get pregnant with how the tumour was growing. We cherish every moment we have with him, and wanting to have a second child is completely separate from being grateful for Daniel. We have both longed to have two children, and even more now we want Daniel to have a sibling to grow up with, to play with, to have as a partner in crime when we are not there. I feel like it would be a disservice to me, Tim, and Daniel to not give it our best shot if it is possible. We don’t want to have any regrets.

We also know times are hard and so it’s very difficult to ask for financial help from people because we understand that things are very costly right now. We do not expect anyone to help if they can’t, or if you do decide to help we don’t expect large amounts. Heck, even five dollars is still something. We are also grateful for any type of emotional support, advice or similar stories of people that have gone through infertility. We’re just looking for solidarity and support while we navigate this journey no matter what the outcome may be. We are very blessed that we have so many friends and family that we know care about us and Daniel.

We have a GoFundMe available, but you can also send an e-transfer to either Tim or me. Like I said we are very grateful that we have this opportunity. If you have any questions or would feel more comfortable having proof of my claims I am more than happy to chat, show you my diagnostic reports, and receipts of purchase once I get the medications plus add any updates along the way. I have nothing to hide and I want to be fully transparent with everyone. We’re aiming for three cycles worth of medication so approximately $9500, and if we reach this amount I will make sure to update everyone and send back any extra money that is received.

Thank you for reading this very long post and taking the time to learn a bit more about what’s been going on behind the scenes with our family the past couple years.