Our Friend Michelle's Cancer Journey

Please take a few minutes to read the story of our friend Michelle.

Everyone who knows Michelle will tell you how incredibly hard she works, and how whatever life throws at her she always problem-solves and finds a way through, keeping her sense of humour however hard things may be. She’s always there for others and is the first to check in on friends and ask whether they need anything. But right now, things are the hardest they have ever been for her, and now she’s in the position of needing help herself.

Her husband died from cancer five years ago, leaving her to raise their two young sons alone. Whilst she was dealing with the loss and grief resulting from her husband’s death, her sister, father and best friend were all diagnosed with cancer, her father's and her best friends cancers being terminal. Without hesitation Michelle began supporting them while still working full time and raising her sons.

Michelle had been troubled by stomach pains over the last few years and had visited the doctor numerous times to try and get to the bottom of this. Eventually, earlier this year she had a colonoscopy which revealed she had stage 3 bowel cancer. This was devastating for Michelle as her biggest fears had come true, how would she survive cancer physically, emotionally and financially now her partner was no longer alive, and what would happen to her sons if they became orphans.

Michelle had no option but to have a large part of her bowel removed and an ileostomy bag fitted. The surgery happened quickly and it was discovered that the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes.

As Michelle recovered from the first operation she was hit with infection after infection which delayed the start of her chemotherapy. When the chemotherapy finally went ahead the first dose almost killed her as she had a severe reaction to it. Her children had to support her at home to keep both her and the house clean and to ensure they were all fed. Her eldest son requested a discharge from the British Army where he was attending their foundation college as a junior soldier which had been a dream of his for years, and became a carer for his mum and a father figure for his younger brother. In short, their lives were once again turned upside down.

Michelle has been off work since August and is now facing the additional stress of her next operation date coinciding with her being due back at work as her sick pay runs out. The operation is to have the ileostomy bag reversed and more time off work will be needed to recover from this. Whilst her workplace has been very accommodating, the reality of her situation is that cancer is not a short-term illness so she cannot afford to take time off to have this operation or time off for recovery of any further illnesses, or to deal with bereavements until next year when sick pay kicks in again. This is traumatic as she wants to recover and return to her life as soon as possible. She has had non-stop issues with the ileostomy bag leaking and has confined herself to the house a lot of the time for fear of it leaking while she is out.

She is constantly worried about money and whether she can keep a roof over her and her boys’ heads and this has affected her mental health immensely as well as her physical recovery.

Her young sons have looked after her in an amazing way, putting their own lives on hold and struggling to watch their mother go through what their father went through in recent years before losing him to cancer. As you can imagine they will have been terrified at what the outcome may be.

If you can help Michelle with any donation, no matter how small, towards treating the boys who have had to watch their father die, followed by supporting their mothers fight against cancer, or just alleviating her worries about how to cope with needing time off work so she can have the next operation rather than having to turn it down as she cannot afford to not be paid if she can’t work we would greatly appreciate this.