Aid our Father through Stage 4 Melanoma Cancer

In short: My older sister, our close loved ones, and I are praying for a miraculous gift to gain some financial ground to aid our family during this trying time as our father is fighting against stage 4 melanoma cancer. We only became aware of this reality because he didn’t shower with a luffa stick and found a lemon-sized lump under his right arm. Not to give luffa sticks a bad rep, but we are no longer fans of such bathroom accessories. We make light of most situations in our family because laughter is our medicine, but that story is accurate! As tests continued, we now know he has a brain tumor about an inch wide on the Broca’s region of the brain which affects speech production. Since this discovery, he has had 2 episodes where he lost the ability to form words properly. He is now taking steroids to help with inflammation near the tumor and has not had an episode since THANK GOD. Now we wait until he begins his stereotactic radiotherapy for the brain tumor. We are praying for help to aid him through these procedures, recovery stages, and living and additional care expenses the best we can. Although we don’t expect many people to see this page as it may get lost in a mist of similar pages. We have to try… and we pray that anyone can help us through this by donating.

In long: While times are hard we have since been talking every night for hours as a family to maximize our time together. He, a true musician and singer-songwriter, has inspired us all to be better versions of ourselves throughout our lives. If only you could truly feel and understand how we feel, but the truth is we can't do this. We can't make you feel how much we love our dad and how great he is, how kind and loving and understanding he's always been, and how heartbroken we are this is happening on top of what happened to him when he got sick in 2015 with a 'we never heard of it' autoimmune disease affecting his thyroids. We can't begin to describe how charming he is, how anyone who gets to spend quality time with him usually spends the evening feeling better about themselves somehow… no … we can't. There are no words, no emoting, as my dad might say "we got nothin'!" in his Italian fake accent. He's Italian 75% Italian American though, the rest Polish, so he does it lovingly. He stresses his morals and values with good intentions. He knows his flaws and has taught us how invaluable it is to reflect on our own when we talk and/or he calls us out as needed, haha.

Now he's in serious trouble, we're in serious trouble, and to get 4 or 8 months (maybe more!) would be a godsend. I'll share below from his own intensely private life consisting of a small core of people. I'm stealing a post from his page so you can get a sense of his persona. It's a big one, a loving one always, never mean or malicious and if he is for a fleeting moment, he feels terrible about it and apologizes immediately. We can't say how worried we are in this battle where these conditions look grim on paper...but this is our dad James Albert Peragine. A name shared by me as his son minus the “Albert”. He, “didn't need all that…” he would say and was happy to let my mother pick her father's name "Edwin" as my middle name. My best friend and Sister, Alyssa, wants you all to get to know him through his own words. You’ll see exactly how he chose to reveal his diagnosis from the intense place he was in, a place we couldn’t possibly fully understand.

Lately, he has been incredibly reflective of his life, from the past to the now. Mostly creating a positive vibe while bringing up all the statistics fighting cancer and making sure the few people he holds dearest are all OK emotionally. He has had hours of talks with people he holds dear, some even as small groups. Sprinkled in are these interactions where he is making amends with people from the past about his wrongdoings. A sight to see, we are learning a lot. That's what he's doing, then he'll write these stories to people reaching out here and there, but stories from 40 years ago. I'll speak of one here shortly. It's wildly shocking to watch one pick apart the past in such a poetic way. I can say with all the energy in my being that his talks with my sis and I that have been such a gift. Sure, we speak all the time anyway, but this is different. That's him with memory, long term as now his short-term memory is shot because of the tumor.

So, for the "what's the battle your loved one's facing" part of "Go Fund Me" we share this. He agreed to let us post this which wasn't easy. He's a cool rocking guitar piano-playing songwriting creative wonder our dad, and we want that for many many more months. PLEASE. Now it goes from free to "not so free" in Ireland where the public vs private systems, and their ongoing therapies, show their separation. Quick side: My sis and I live in FL and IL, we are flying over in a week for support as radiation to kill tumor in the brain starts a few days later. He is broke and has been since he got sick in 2015. We do all we can, but his dear friends of 20 years out there, to who we are eternally grateful, have been his and ours saving grace with housing, docs, food, etc. for YEARS out of their heartfelt kindness and love they have for him. My true goal in life was to move to the city to get a good job in hopes of one day bringing our father back to the United States so he could grow old around his family. I imagined one day I would have kids and he would get to impact them positively as he did his kids (us) but life doesn’t always pan out the way you imagined, and I blame myself to the degree that I was not able to act fast enough to make that a reality. Even so, I still pray for that to be a reality and know he is strong-spirited enough to get through this stereotactic radiotherapy and the following BRAF treatment with this help.

So here it is, if you're still somehow reading this, thank you. When our dad talks to family and friends about his diagnosis he doesn’t JUST say, "Hey all, I got stage 4 melanoma of the brain, big tumor in armpit too, looks bad, just want all I love to know.” He more so has been radiating this stunning positive hopeful energy that my sister and I admire greatly as we have become infected by it ourselves. Honestly, it's where my sister probably gets her positive and charming persona from! We've included the only pic he included with the post we are going to share of Me, my niece Ariana left, Alyssa right, from about 13 years ago. His post below this closing paragraph is where he breaks this news by blasting it out to everyone! Boy, does he have a lot to say! It’s probably the steroids as he has been talking A LOT lately which ironically, I’ve never enjoyed so much until now in a person. Again, messing around, aside we are in a horrible position as we are looking at emptying our accounts (given we don’t have much) with upcoming tens of thousands to get through this and it's a nightmare on all fronts now. We know equally with all of you that times are hard right now so thank you, thank you from all of us, our entire family. He deserves all the time we can get him in this life and with your incredible generosity and the improved technology of today’s time, we pray for years to come with him. Peace and Love, James and Alyssa.

(he was guessing the 26th would be the therapy start date based on mask making date, done and went great, takes 2 more weeks than his guess. He's since stopped the clock in his posts and is happy to get the 2 more weeks...sorta...it's complicated)

~~~ So this guy… me, yeah I’m the guy, James Albert Peragine, born in Syosset NY 1966 age 0-4, grew up in West Islip NY from 4-15, son of Gerald and Dianna, original 1920s kids of the immigrants who built NY off the Italian boats, brother to Gerald, Amy, Joe, husband for 5 years to Brenda, Grandfather to Ariana, best friend to Daniele 2004-2022, musician, lover and taker of said love to a wonderful few, high end salesman of a once upon a 25 year career, and....... let me pause here to make this part clear…. above all father to Alyssa Daniele Peragine and James Edwin Peragine, my heart, everything’s, giver of the greatest gift a dad could ever ask for in the love he clearly has from his children, the understanding, grace and support as the 3 of us have dealt with long distance for the following ‘not a drill’ news. THIS guy has been given his last solo spotlight guest appearance in this weeks rendition of “The Parting Glass.” Stage 4 Melons (BRAF skin cancer gone mad) , 2x5 cm lemon under right arm found it as it grew, then found on the brain baby. Now no removal, nothing matters as stage 4 melanoma on brain beats all. A one incher over Broca’s and association regions. Speech, reading, writing, basic understanding of how to make a sentence or even see the words in your head to say. I know as it was 2 episodes of Aphasia-daze-ya that came to pass as we prepared the lemon size tumor removal at what we hoped would remain stage 3. Full pet showed nothing else in body yet! Sure, spreading like mad as giant vascular tumor under arm pumping blood away, BFAR cells breaking off here and there, but great new BFAR target therapies! No worries, cut it out, stop spread. It works on 60% of patience, other 40% 0 efficacy. BUT then there’s immunotherapies, all have side affects but not as bad as chemo! Great, that can stop spread in time from going next to it’s favorite spots. Abdomen, lungs, and… wait for it.. ah damn I told ya already, sorry. So association region does short term memory in comical ways. I mean ya gotta laugh when you walk away from the table to find the 7-up you need all day or your heart hurts fast (4 litres a day now) and you can’t find it but then see it’s right in front of you on the same table. These are the ‘light, fun, spiritual moments’ I’m still enjoying while having function for 9 days before the suspended ether I fear. Why 9 days? No I am not saying I’ll be "parting" quite then perhaps, but speaking, reading, balancing, functioning like a child who can’t see or say “morning” ...or ANYthing but backward inverted word/sounds (and no he can’t text ya to explain himself) with placement of said tumor all that is see ya later bye until further notice. Add so many other lost functions the swelling may bring, sight and sound included, so many, but wait.. .. shh…. stay calm in what were JUST two 10 minute episodes that faded to speaking again as this time it stays in suspended animation for weeks if you make it to there without the Irish ballad beginning. Be watched closely, shhh, stay calm… once your 3-5 treatments to kill THE toughest MOST radiant resistant tumor known to ALL of man are finished that week, ... and ya only get one 3-5 sessions shot to make it die, but once this is over the swelling might go down if ya get to there, then you’ll be able to speak/read/stand up who knows what in about a month. Sounds like some dangerous shite eh!? You betcha! But they are better at it now, and MRI ATOP a CT SCAN! Pinpoint, 1mm accuracy, hit and kill just the bad cells until the last treatment when we hit attached good cells I hopefully minimally lose, but it starts swelling after day one of zapping. So bleeding/swelling/loss of all for a spell part coming, plain to hear as you read between the lines from radiation specialist and Onco. Still sounds dangerous eh?! Sure again! OK I’ll chose the other option….ready? 4 months to live, and ‘early detection be not thy name’ clearly, and ya know, ya you feel how ya feel, you know it’s month 3 now and they’re taking and pot shots ya got to get you some time. I believe in Miracles, I fight for one for my children now, but I see the data. You know how you felt before diagnosis, 10 hrs sleep suddenly… and still exhausted when you woke up. Wtf right?! So the other option to evade this dangerous 'gonna send ya into the ether' therapy is a short option. Go into invalid ‘stroke like’ incapacitated state if actual stroke/aneurysm/ fast organ failure, but mostly it's the catatonic thing. I have all data again and it hasn’t changed much for this, the darkest corner of cancer, that my lot has handed me. With the proton gun as I call it (in real life it’s a “gamma knife”) average 8 months to live, I’m still 3 in now to refresh memory issue you guys and gals might be reading along with me on. Wait, me again, OH! BRAF target therapy which starts 3 weeks after radiation data if we can get there: Same 4 months life expectancy no treatment (duh) with BRAF average death 8 months. 1 in 5 get to sing our Irish Ballad within the first 90 days of stereotactic therapy. No I don't mean IT killed you per-se, the prognosis of 4 months also just happens to fall in that same first 90 days of you treatment, time overlaps, lofty concepts to this affect. So any hope to keep your kids from being fatherless, YES! How?! What, you’re finished bro, going into ether under what will surely be 24/7 monitoring in who knows what state. Ya got NO shot! Sure they say they keep some alive for years now with this therapy, but ya know, it’s the darkest corner of cancer, the toughest cancer, how can you think there’s a shot ya crazy F’er?! GOD!!!! OK yeah that’s a big part anytime a miracle is needed. Other plusses, only one tumor so far spotted in brain, and it’s NOT brain cancer to be precise, as that’s in brain. I lost my father in 1995 to brain, origin, mine’s skin, so mine’s called “melanoma ON the brain”, see? So it sits right outside attached to healthy brain below, it’s not EATING the brain or deep in folds, just sitting there growing and swelling as I stay on chemo grade steroids for past 18 days now to keep swell down, anti seizure meds too, so yes it’s easy to ZAP. Round one, kill monster, hope 2nd MRI which is wed for mask/ fit test run/scans on the 21st which is better/thinner MRI and usually finds 20% more tumors does NOT find more….so kill it, round 1. Wait after treatment one for the swell, enter the madness, stay calm…. It’s coming…this only works if we all .. ah geez, sorry I’m back.

Round 2, come out of ether, speak again! Start BRAF treatment and hope it works really well, See BRAF is the Delta variant of Cancer. A mutated cancer, a wicked wild wooly cancer I say, so wicked they made a targeted therapy to go after it’s wild wooly-ness. Like when I first got sick and lost everything in 2015 with an acute case of Hashimoto Thyroiditis with an anti body level of 1000,,, I go ALL in man! Sure this Hashimoto auto immune nightmare again with my huge army (1000 level again for the forgetful) made me lose my signing voice, all energy, all a thyroid does which it turns out is a lot, the ability to work or speak for over 2 hrs straight as voice turns into sand, so sales gone, but all work is as exhausted, sure ya lose desire for all the ‘fun exciting’ things we may have enjoyed in our now gone eras,.sure that wrecked everything for years, ….but this one, ….this one figured out how to top that!!!! F’N’ WINNING!!!!! Charley, ya there man?

Round 3- Stop spread, target BRAF therapy. Hope too many organs not hit, if it works it won’t kill cancer but stops it flat where it is for 60% of those involved. 2 year old therapy, all new stuff. Yes, so friends 9 days to speak. BTW 9 days is a guess based on schedule I’ve seen for first zapping. The 26th is my guess, and a profound number as James and I both born the 26th, as was their mother. (No not the same month) 3 that week, 5 maybe, I dunno. As a claustrophobic I need to be in a hard ass mask for an hour, locked into a base, ya see through it, but being beyond immobile one might say is important. It’s the vintage Metallica video coming to a nightmare near me! Yeah that vid always scared me, trapped inside a mask, can’t communicate but your thoughts in ‘other head’ are lucid, trapped silent, now all I say is I get it! Been there! I have no idea what this state will bring, but I have 2 beautiful amazing kids who adore me, so I’m in the battle with anything they got. Meanwhile, 9 days to speak, on steroids and staying calm and sane believe it or not. OK wait the first 8 days on 4x this dose was insane, no sleep 5 days, none, madness, so NOW I mean staying sane. SO much to say in 9 days, so many to pour love out to who deserve it (OK it’s a really short list so relax ya freak non- sentimental types) but man…. Here we are. More soon, James A Peragine, September 17th 2022, 1:44 Dublin time, 9 days remaining...