Optimistically Well

Hello, my name is Clinton, I’m 47 and I am terrified. This is tough for me to swallow my pride and ask for help, especially from strangers, but I don’t know what else to do. These past few years have been a struggle and though I do my absolute best to stay positive and keep moving forward, it seems the dominos just keep falling. In 2020 I had surgery on my right shoulder for an injury I had sustained a year prior. My permanent Work Restrictions of no lift, push, pull, carry > 10 lbs and no overhead work have stripped me from being able to return to my profession. I began researching Extended Studies courses to obtain a degree in Web & Graphic Design, then a couple more dominoes fell. The MRI and CT discovered a Cerebral Cavernous Malformation with a Subarachnoid Hemorrhage on the left side of my brain. In addition, Chronic Occipital with Trigeminal Autonomic Cephalgia was diagnosed on the right side; possibly SUNCT. I have received two Nerve Blocker injections into the back of my head that were ineffective. I have had an additional 15 nerve blocker injections (occipital and trigeminal). These, too, have been ineffective. It was repeatedly suggested to consider brain surgery and implanting a "pillow" to prevent the artery from knocking on the broken nerve. I saw my 5th Neurologist who specializes in conditions like mine. I have been informed that I will always be in pain but they'll do their best to make it easier. This nerve damage is continuous and extremely painful. I've depleted my 401k on rent and spent the last of my money on dog food. I’m selling my motorcycle since my disabilities won’t permit me to ride it anymore and am still doing my best to move forward with a positive attitude. I am halfway through writing my cookbook and will be attending school again but do not have any source of income at this time. I am in the process of filing for bankruptcy and struggling to keep a roof over my head. I have been working hard since I was 14 years old and though I am embarrassed to do so, I am asking for some, any, help to at least get me caught up with past-due bills and rent, and hopefully through another month or so while I search for another solution. Please and thank you.