The likelihood that you are seeing this without knowing me or my story is low, but I will cliff-note it for you.
I have been struggling with mental health for over a decade already (yes, that is more than half of my life), and the biggest struggle of all was and still is my eating disorder. Throughout the past several years, my mom and sisters have worked so hard to keep me alive through each admission, discharge, relapse, admission, discharge, relapse cycle. Last year, I kissed death and it was the scariest thing that I have ever experienced. That fear is a sort of intangible, crushing feeling that is indescribable unless you have been there yourself.
Now, things are different. I am a legal adult and, unlike when I was underage and in high school, I am not wearing blinders, I am engaged with and in my treatment, and after being referred to a higher level of care by my therapist and dietician, I am actually the one getting my own booty to treatment. Hopefully, at least. But that is where this comes in. Finances are a struggle in my life. My siblings are in high school and my parent cannot work (not "won't" but literally can not). I am not even looking at trying to have enough to make it thru any sort of amount of time if/when insurance cuts, I am just trying to figure out how to put down the payment to get in and also pay for two one-way flights (that are $140-$150 each way)(I can't do a 2-way because if I can go, there's no predictable way to know when I come home for sure.)
My team wants me in treatment now. I have been talking with admissions people for a facility in CA for two weeks and the only thing holding me back is the insurance and flight payments. (I do still live petrified of the big men in suits at insurance companies that somehow decide whether or not a person is "sick enough" for treatment that professionals recommend). I need to go soon. I don't want to reach the point I hit a little over a year ago. But things continue to slide and I am trying to listen to my team and take the help.
I just need to reach my Out-of-Pocket Max for insurance ($2200) and be able to access the two plane tickets so I can go and give it my all. This would be a new facility, new team, new place, new start. Right now, I just wanna be able to make it to the start-line of the race, you know? Or if you know of affordable ways to make it from the top of the west coast USA to the bottom of the west coast USA that isn't driving (the person who would be driving with me is incapable of a 15-17 hour drive due to back problems/surgery), please let me know!! I hate asking for help, but those around me have been giving me a lot of perspective about it. If someone else asked the same thing of me, I would not think the things that I think of myself. So here I am, a lot too honest for comfort, but taking the risk anyway. Whatever you can do is more than appreciated. I just want to live a real life that doesn't cycle between 6 months (give or take a bit) in treatment and the rest out and back in and out. I wanna kick this thing and if you wanna help, you're dope, you're amazing, you're wonderful. But if you can't, you are still dope, amazing, and wonderful. Much love if you have even seen this <3
Have a magical day : )
I have been struggling with mental health for over a decade already (yes, that is more than half of my life), and the biggest struggle of all was and still is my eating disorder. Throughout the past several years, my mom and sisters have worked so hard to keep me alive through each admission, discharge, relapse, admission, discharge, relapse cycle. Last year, I kissed death and it was the scariest thing that I have ever experienced. That fear is a sort of intangible, crushing feeling that is indescribable unless you have been there yourself.
Now, things are different. I am a legal adult and, unlike when I was underage and in high school, I am not wearing blinders, I am engaged with and in my treatment, and after being referred to a higher level of care by my therapist and dietician, I am actually the one getting my own booty to treatment. Hopefully, at least. But that is where this comes in. Finances are a struggle in my life. My siblings are in high school and my parent cannot work (not "won't" but literally can not). I am not even looking at trying to have enough to make it thru any sort of amount of time if/when insurance cuts, I am just trying to figure out how to put down the payment to get in and also pay for two one-way flights (that are $140-$150 each way)(I can't do a 2-way because if I can go, there's no predictable way to know when I come home for sure.)
My team wants me in treatment now. I have been talking with admissions people for a facility in CA for two weeks and the only thing holding me back is the insurance and flight payments. (I do still live petrified of the big men in suits at insurance companies that somehow decide whether or not a person is "sick enough" for treatment that professionals recommend). I need to go soon. I don't want to reach the point I hit a little over a year ago. But things continue to slide and I am trying to listen to my team and take the help.
I just need to reach my Out-of-Pocket Max for insurance ($2200) and be able to access the two plane tickets so I can go and give it my all. This would be a new facility, new team, new place, new start. Right now, I just wanna be able to make it to the start-line of the race, you know? Or if you know of affordable ways to make it from the top of the west coast USA to the bottom of the west coast USA that isn't driving (the person who would be driving with me is incapable of a 15-17 hour drive due to back problems/surgery), please let me know!! I hate asking for help, but those around me have been giving me a lot of perspective about it. If someone else asked the same thing of me, I would not think the things that I think of myself. So here I am, a lot too honest for comfort, but taking the risk anyway. Whatever you can do is more than appreciated. I just want to live a real life that doesn't cycle between 6 months (give or take a bit) in treatment and the rest out and back in and out. I wanna kick this thing and if you wanna help, you're dope, you're amazing, you're wonderful. But if you can't, you are still dope, amazing, and wonderful. Much love if you have even seen this <3
Have a magical day : )