This hurts, anyone that knows me knows that I hate asking for help. I'd rather fail on my own than have to ask anyone for anything... and there's still a likely possibility that I may still have this blow up in my face because of that same stubborn mindset.

So back on May 20th, I ended up fracturing my 5th metacarpal in my right hand. Long story short, that was the last day I worked. I lucked out that the timing lined up with my final sign-on bonus payment coming through just in the nick of time to cover June's rent and a couple of bills. I've spent the time since then being bounced between 'I do... No, I don't' have disability insurance. Come to find out I do, wasted a lot more time than I would have liked to get that answer, but the claim was approved and has paid me out the back pay from 5/20 till 6/25, which one would think would put a huge dent in the financial hole, but sadly the claim pays out at a rate of $170 a week, roughly $152 a week post-taxes or about $630 for the past month.

Now, I do not live outside of my means by any stretch, but at the same time, I have been working on paying down debt and trying to fix my credit so I could continue to move forward financially to make sure my kids could one day have a better situation than I have. So, I did not have some nest egg in savings. On top of this, my bank, which has been amazing for the two years I've had them, pretty much allowed every single auto-pay to come through, which while great in the aspect it has helped keep certain things afloat, that ship was going to nose dive real quick, and it did to a tune of $-955. That alone wouldn't worry me too much; I will be back to work this week because healed or not, I cannot survive at this point without going back. The bank balance is a small one-week setback, but then it's the $930 rent due in 3 days, it's the $150 NYSEG shutoff notice for the 7th, it's the fact that I won't even see a paycheck until the 9th at the earliest, and with a grand total of maybe $650 in disability money sitting in my CashApp account (assuming I do not buy food, or gas, or any of the essentials), you can real quickly see how the math isn't mathing.

All of this, plus the still growing pile of medical bills which sits at just under $2200 as of current with 1 more appointment to go at minimum, I am looking at needing right around $5,000 just to come out at $0 (this factors in GoFundMe's cut that they take before the payout). I will 100% say I do not expect this number to be hit, I honestly don't expect this to really go anywhere, but I have to make sure I can say I am trying every option to make ends meet or at least buy time.

Currently, I have already placed all of my music equipment up for sale, so if you were considering donating and needed a guitar or bass, or amp for either, shoot me a message and maybe we can work something out so you're not giving money away for nothing. Like I said, this hurts to type out, I'd rather drown out of sight and out of mind than be a burden on anyone. If you have a dollar to spare, a quarter to throw at me, whatever, I appreciate it. This has been a humbling month, the first time in my life that I have been injured to a point that I couldn't just push myself through it, and it is insane to see how 1 month can erase EVERY bit of progress I've made in the last 2 years, but I've overcome bigger challenges, this is just the next step back.

Again, thanks for even reading this. If ya can share it? Make a joke with it? I've learned in life getting the info in front of people is the hardest step, and the most vital, so even the 3 seconds sharing this is a help. If all else fails, we're just going to ride the legal process to the end to keep the roof over the head, cause I can unbury myself faster than they can toss me out, I think. I should look into that more, but stay tuned, we're in the homestretch and I just started the race.