
Oops, He Sneezed His Tooth Out
Donation protected
AAAAACH-TOOOOTH!!
Are your sneezes so obscenely ferocious that they…
...register on the Richter scale?
...cause others to assume you have attention issues?
...disrupt bird migratory routes?
...inspired AC/DC to write "TNT"?
...rival that of the exploding husky? (see video below)
...pack the punch of One Punch Man?
...mobilize FEMA?
...were mistaken by the LIGO team as a binary black hole merger?
...may have caused the dinosaur mass extinction event?
...spawn new universes?
...EVEN shatter your own tooth cap??!?!
If your name is Jeremy Kinney, then the answer is a C4-loaded YES.
As if pulverizing your facial skull bones into 100 pieces twice and losing all of your front teeth aren’t enough, Jer’s Mach 5 sneezes blew a permanent tooth cap right out of his face last week.
It turns out new fake teeth don’t come cheap, so we’re raising funds to help Jeremy front the cost of a new cap. Any donation you can make to help us reach our goal would be immensely appreciated. If you aren’t sold on donating because it’s a nice thing to do, please help us stop him moping. It’s downright unnatural. Also, it’s apple season folks—bite power, critical.
Jeremy doesn’t know that we created this fundraiser. His friends put this together, because we’re tired of looking at his increasingly gross face and occasionally care for his wellbeing/enjoyment of life. But mainly, we just can’t understand a damn thing he’s saying anymore.
THANK YOU, PLEASE HELP!!!!!
Are your sneezes so obscenely ferocious that they…
...register on the Richter scale?
...cause others to assume you have attention issues?
...disrupt bird migratory routes?
...inspired AC/DC to write "TNT"?
...rival that of the exploding husky? (see video below)
...pack the punch of One Punch Man?
...mobilize FEMA?
...were mistaken by the LIGO team as a binary black hole merger?
...may have caused the dinosaur mass extinction event?
...spawn new universes?
...EVEN shatter your own tooth cap??!?!
If your name is Jeremy Kinney, then the answer is a C4-loaded YES.
As if pulverizing your facial skull bones into 100 pieces twice and losing all of your front teeth aren’t enough, Jer’s Mach 5 sneezes blew a permanent tooth cap right out of his face last week.
It turns out new fake teeth don’t come cheap, so we’re raising funds to help Jeremy front the cost of a new cap. Any donation you can make to help us reach our goal would be immensely appreciated. If you aren’t sold on donating because it’s a nice thing to do, please help us stop him moping. It’s downright unnatural. Also, it’s apple season folks—bite power, critical.
Jeremy doesn’t know that we created this fundraiser. His friends put this together, because we’re tired of looking at his increasingly gross face and occasionally care for his wellbeing/enjoyment of life. But mainly, we just can’t understand a damn thing he’s saying anymore.
THANK YOU, PLEASE HELP!!!!!
Organizer and beneficiary
Samantha Orlando
Organizer
Arlington, VA
Jeremy Kinney
Beneficiary