I recently followed up with a retreatant from last year’s 3-month retreat to ask how his life has changed. He said, “I used to approach others as though there was a fist inside my heart, which if it could speak would say “what can I get from you.” Now, it’s as though there’s an open hand, and it’s as if my underlying orientation is “what can I give?” I was so happy! This image of opening a fist in the heart represents what I know to be the crux of spiritual practice, in which we are, as one Buddhist teacher put it, “giving back to nature what we mistakenly appropriated as our own.” This opening transforms how we relate to life – out of a sense of control and separation, and into a place of harmony and connection that reflects the fundamental reality of our oneness with life. For thousands of years, taking a period of time to retreat and meditate has been understood to be crucial for this type of transformation. The aspects that make up the experience of retreat–such as renunciation, simplicity, solitude, silence, closeness to nature, intimacy with our inner experience, meeting closely with a teacher, and relying on generosity– are supportive conditions for people to shed habitual defenses, open to life as it is, and discover their own natural capacity for freedom, wisdom, and compassion.

This is the offering of Boundless Refuge. We’ve offered two, 3-month retreats so far and our next retreat is in the spring of 2024. There are very few opportunities for this level of depth retreat. Boundless Refuge directly supports the growth of wisdom and compassion in our society from its only possible source: the human heart. Here, I’ll tell you more about my own journey into teaching, as well as more about the experience of long retreat, and finally, tell you about our choice to operate entirely on generosity (dana, to use the Buddhist term). We ask for your support for the food and basic supplies for our next retreat, in the spirit of Buddhist monks going for alms in the village for their daily meal.

[almsgiving]

As a young man, deeply suffering and searching for a meaningful response, I sensed a beautiful possibility deep in my heart that I could only vaguely describe to others as “like a jewel.” I felt alone in this inchoate intuition until encountering a Buddhist teacher who struck me as having found a way to express this same “jewel in the heart.” My energy gathered strongly around the practice of mindfulness that he taught which led me to live for two years in solitude and then to attend several multi-month Vipassana retreats. This period of search came to a definitive resolution as an unshakeable peace bloomed in my heart. From this, compassion arose in the form of the wish to benefit others through teaching. As I went forth with this aspiration, studying closely with many venerable teachers and practicing in various, primarily Zen, communities, many new personal challenges conspired to deepen my appreciation that there is still much I don’t know. While I gained increasing skill during this decade, most importantly, humility and tenderness deepened – two essential qualities of any good spiritual friend. I clarified that the peace I’d found doesn’t erase the limitations of human life – as the deluded mind tends to imagine it will– rather, it embraces and transcends them, allowing for wisdom to unfold. It is this absence of struggle and control that is the hub of the wheel of freedom and compassion.

[North in his monastery days; drum made by friends for the first retreat]

Boundless Refuge was born in the fire of 2020. I’d just returned from serving as the resident teacher of a retreat center in South Africa to weather the pandemic in my family’s little summer cabin in Washington State. I reflected upon having experimented with teaching in a range of settings and roles. It had been my dream since the start of this teaching journey to lead long intensive retreats, and the time felt right to try. I received the blessing of my closest mentors to lead my first 3-month retreat. We stored the furniture away to turn the cabin into a meditation space and put up tents for retreatants to sleep in the forest. We’ve now held two 3-month retreats in this same small cabin in the woods. Over two years, twenty people have participated in retreat with many reporting positive, life-changing, transformations. I’ve found this form of long retreat to be an excellent vehicle for teaching, and I intend to offer this annually for as long as there is energy and interest to do so. We’ve since searched for a new location with more capacity yet similar qualities of seclusion and natural beauty, and have been offered the use of a perfect property in Northern California. This new location for the 2024 retreat, in April, May and June, has space for up to twenty participants!

[a retreatant’s tent on the island in the Pacific Northwest]

[our new space for 2024, in Northern California]

The great Buddhist teacher Ajahn Chah said “Buddhist monks don’t practice meditation for selfish reasons. We practice in order to know ourselves so that then we’ll be able to understand, and teach others, how to live peacefully, and wisely. [...] Some people think that a monk’s life is a lazy and easy one. If that’s what they think they should just try, and see how long they can stand it. A monk’s work is hard. He works to free his heart so that he begins to feel lovingkindness, which embraces everything. He sees that all life has the characteristic of the breath: it rises, and it falls. Everything that is born expires. So his suffering diminishes as he knows that nothing belongs to him.”

Our spiritual life is an intuitive appreciation of the way things are, the way it is. It’s akin to true gratitude, which is the inspiration for true generosity – part of the same brushstroke in the circle of the Way. That’s the refuge which is boundless – taking refuge in the fact of our being, rather than in the unstable refuges of status, health, relationships, or anything else we might hold on to. Of course, these things are important, and not to be discarded either. The wisdom of the Middle Way is a balancing factor that allows us to engage in these things of the world with a deep sense of peace rather than a deep sense of anxiety– with a boundless love for life in all its forms.

Retreat isn't easy. While the practice can be blissful at times, more often it is an encounter we might otherwise avoid with our attachments, unhelpful views, and habit patterns– which can be very painful and difficult to face. Yet the only way out is through. Practitioners follow this daily schedule together:

4:30 AM - Wake up bell

4:45 AM - 7:00 AM Formal sitting and walking meditation

7:00 AM - Breakfast

8:30 AM - Morning instructions

9:15 AM - 12:00 PM - Formal sitting and walking meditation

12:00 PM - Lunch

1:30 PM - 5:30 PM - Formal sitting and walking meditation

5:30 PM - Tea

6:00 PM - 8:45 PM - Meditation and Dharma talk

8:45 PM - 10:15 PM - Formal sitting and Walking meditation

During the retreat, silence is observed except during teacher meetings, fostering an inward focus and a quiet mind. Retreatants adhere to traditional ethical precepts to support communal harmony, ethical sensitivity, and meditative absorption. These include refraining from intentionally killing living beings, stealing, sexually engaging others, lying, taking intoxicants, and eating after lunch. Other supportive practices include daily chanting, reflection on aspiration, and pranayama breathwork. All retreatants are assigned simple mindful service jobs for about 45 minutes a day to support the group.

[meditating in the forest during Spring 2023 retreat]

Our retreats are sustained solely through dana, the practice of generosity. This means that we do not require payment to participate in retreats. Dana has been an integral part of the transmission of Buddhadharma throughout history. It is a rule in the traditional Buddhist monastic code that monks are not allowed to store food overnight and must therefore rely on others for sustenance, which ensures that those devoting their lives to the dharma as renunciates do not become isolated from the wider society. Those on retreat aren’t abandoning the world – they are nurturing their ability to be a deepening force in society. Dana encourages this relationship tangibly; instead of relying on paid staff, we rely on volunteers. All the funding for retreats is donated, and so is all the labor to set up the site. It’s been observed that the best monasteries in Asia, who operate in this way, have a warm feeling, like that of a large extended family gathering together. This crowdfund is for the cost of food for our next 3-month retreat. All the names of people who donate will be posted in the dining room for the duration of the retreat to remind us of the generosity and goodwill supporting our practice.

Imagine a future where going on long retreat is understood as a noble thing to do, something which many are called to and for which there is widespread respect and support. When I see what I’ve worked through in my own heart on retreat, and what other people work through, and the understanding that opens for them, it’s so clear that this is an important source of individual healing and also a vital part of a collective movement to live in harmony, with the openhanded qualities of fearlessness, generosity, and wisdom. Let’s cultivate this future together – for the benefit of all!

To learn more about our offerings and to connect with us, visit our website https://www.boundlessness.org. Our monthly newsletter, called The Dispatch, is a good way to stay connected with us, too, and can be signed up for on the Community page of the website. The Retreat page contains our application to the next retreat, which still has available places. We also need donations for our organizational expenses, even though we still operate at a fraction of the cost of comparable retreat centers, so please contact us if you or someone you know may be inspired and in a position to support our operations with a larger donation. Donations are tax deductible through our fiscal sponsorship agreement with the non-profit organization Off-Grid Retreats www.offgridretreats.org.