FUCK - I have cancer - throat cancer - I’m 62 years and was born in 1962. I thought this year would be my year. I had expectations of unfathomable wealth and all my dreams coming true. Alas, I got cancer. My dad died of throat cancer when he was 62. We were with him when he died; he bled out of his trach when the tumor he had crushed his carotid artery. I don’t have that kind of throat cancer. Mine seems to stem from my tonsils and is highly treatable according to the doctor I met today. I’ll get a CAT scan, a PET scan, and start radiation as soon as possible. I’m not scared of cancer as much as I am of the high deductible insurance policy I carry. My health savings account has enough in it to pay for a few boxes of contacts, not a CAT scan, a PET scan, and numerous rounds of radiation ☢️

If I know anything from years of Al-Anon meetings, it’s to know when to ask for help. I need help…

They say religion is for those who are scared of going to hell, and spirituality is for those who have been through hell. Once you put your truth out there, you have nothing to fear. I firmly believe that. I know everything is going to be okay because once things are brought to light, you don’t have to fear the uncertainty of the outcome. God’s got me. I truly believe that. But I need help…

I have found money to be a relative thing. The more you have, the more you spend. It’s only money until you don’t have an excess of it. I honestly believe if I ask for help, I’ll get it in the form of prayers, good thoughts, some money to pay my medical bills, and lots of good jou jou. So I’m asking…

Fuck - I have cancer.