Noodle Recovery

We come from a family of nicknames.. Or at least I (Paul: AKA Big Poppa) love to hand them out and make them stick. To me nicknames aren't just a silly or even different name for someone. It's a way of connecting with others; an intimate expression of “I know you and you know me”. There's something about a nickname that tends to make people feel like they're part of something and most importantly that they are part of you. With that being said it's no surprise that I have nicknames for my children. One of those children goes by Noodle.

Noodle (born Alena) got her name the first year of middle school. She went out for softball and as she stepped to the plate to show her batting skills she felt as if no-one was really watching. This tall lanky 12-year-old with the noodle arms would probably be good for pop ups and high flies in outfield but not hitting. That’s when she popped the first pitch straight out to center hitting the fence. Those noodle arms could do more than they thought and the coach cried out “where have you been!” as her peers and parent spectators cheered. That night as Alena shared this story with me, eyes bright and beaming with pride, she said questioningly “I don’t know why they were so surprised?. To this I replied, “They probably saw those noodle arms and didn’t know the heart that was inside.” Since that day Noodle stuck.

Unfortunately for our Noodle things went down hill from there. As middle school went in to full swing Noodle changed. At first we thought we could simply attribute “teenage angst”. She lost interest in softball, her taste in music changed she even seemed to have less passion for cooking (something she has always been naturally gifted at and loved since she was just 4). While usually a good student (I mean c’mon with all that awesome DNA of course she is) she started to struggle. She pulled away from church activities but still attended regularly. She continued to draw but it became darker. Reading remained a passion but again the topics less cheerful. She became more and more withdrawn and while we tried to understand (we even thought because Anna and I were struggling in our relationship it was our fault) we just couldn’t figure it out. We waited…. we shouldn’t have. We thought she would “grow out of it”. It got worse… much worse.

By the time Noodle was in her last year of middle school she was a completely different person. She has been through at least 3 therapists, multiple psychiatrists and psychologists and run the gambit of depression and anxiety medications. Noodle had fallen so much that she began cutting, abusing her medication and burning herself. All unknown to us. As things got worse, she escalated into thoughts of suicide and thankfully because we serve such an all-powerful God, she came to us and asked for help. Numerous ER trips and multiple short term acute care mental health facilities helped to identify some of the problems and causes (I wont get into that here out of respect for her wishes of privacy).

Our beautiful, talented, passionate little girl had become her own worst nightmare. She couldn’t trust herself, she couldn’t trust her mind, she lost her faith and her heart became broken. We couldn’t leave her alone for too long for fear of what she would do to herself. After almost a year of this our family reached a breaking point. I had a lapse in my 3 year sobriety, Anna became depressed and then angry that we couldn’t find a way to help her. Our other children seemed lost as to how to handle each day. Noodle came to us and said “I just cant do this anymore”. She meant life but surprised us when followed up with “I think I need to go somewhere that I can feel safe and get real help. I want my life back”.

I’ll admit. I was shocked. I was hopeful. I was devastated. I mean not only how self-aware she was but also how hard it must have been for her to reach that point. The thought of our little girl (slowly becoming a woman) being away from home. It was a hard conversation. It was even harder to accept. We did though. After looking around for some time and being turned down by some or turning down others ourselves we found a place. Ill admit once we accepted the reality and found a  residential treatment program. The change in Noodle was immediate. She seemed hopeful… herself. It almost made me lose my nerve but I realized it was temporary euphoria. She is doing well where she is and we talk via video chat and she seems to be openly communicating and working towards goals, but the road ahead is long.

So why am I telling you all of this? Why the story? I bet you have met others like Noodle. Wished you could help. For us you can. First and foremost in prayer. We know God is working everyday on Noodles heart and that He is watching our family and ready to provide. Unfortunately, one of those needs is also financial. While our insurance is pretty good thanks to my 20 year military service the program is a long one and the daily rate a little outside our normal means. I have gone back to 6 day work weeks and Anna is looking into part time work in addition to her fulltime job. Still, between our share of the bill, uncovered local expenses at the facility and travel to and from every 6 weeks (not just the travel but the loss of pay, I don’t get PTO or sick pay as I am an independent contractor) the financial burden is huge. We paid upfront for the first month and a half and have enough for the next month but after that it will be rough.

All we ask is to give what you can. Pray on it. Talk to your spouse, significant other, friends and family. Give what God calls you to. If it’s nothing thats fine, but pray. If it’s $5, still pray. If it’s a $500 blessing… pray. Yes, we need the help. Yes, it’s about the money. Really though its about God and we believe he will shower us with his blessings whether they be financial or otherwise to meet our needs. Because that’s what He does, and that’s what Noodle needs.

• “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16