Nic run's 42k 4.0

I am running the Gold Coast marathon for the fourth time this year on July 4th with the aim of completing it in under 3:40. 

With what's gone on over the last year (particularly in Melbourne,) I know that I won't be alone in saying that the last year has been the toughest of my life. 

As I built my new life in Melbourne, covid arrived just as I was going to be travelling back to the UK for my best friend's wedding. I was stood down from my part time work and casual job, I had to move out of my apartment and live out of a suitcase, I didn't have any government funding sadly. I didn't have a huge amount of money behind me and I was scared of losing the things I had worked hard to set up. Having moved from Sydney to London and then London to Melbourne, I couldn't fathom another move. I had been there, done that and I was very happy in Melbourne. 

I created NGT to help people with their own mental and physical wellbeing during the pandemic. I was inundated with bookings which was incredible. I am beyond grateful for that. I couldn't believe I had made something that people were so excited about. I trained over 200 people throughout the course of the year with group classes, 1:1 PT sessions. I adapted to taking things to zoom when we weren't allowed to PT in the park any longer during the second lockdown and I even trained with them, which meant sometimes training up to 8 times a day. I offered free sessions to people who had been made redundant and helped people achieve some major goals. 

Little did people know however, I was crippled with anxiety and was struggling on a daily basis. I was numb with the fear and constant uncertainty, that a lot of us will have felt. I would sit in my car and break down between sessions, but jump out and perform like nothing had happened. I was hiding the way I felt day in, day out and that in itself was exhausting. 

In amongst the day to day worries, I was trying to find a permanent place to live, missing a familiar face, I had a lump on my back removed, I had a 12 hour operation and cooped up in an apartment doing zoom workouts. I didn't switch off. I felt like I was constantly in survival mode.

I experienced lockdown in Melbourne like everyone else did and I know how much people have been hurting and how we still continue to recover and heal. 

I hear you if you have ever felt alone, felt like you don't want to be here, felt like you don't know why. 

Everyone has a threshold and I hit mine last year and I sought help. You never think it'll happen to you, until it does. 

I am utterly grateful beyond belief for the people I have around me, I couldn't have rebuilt myself without you. 

Thank you to Beyond Blue for the incredible work you do. 

I'm running this one for all of us :)